Santa Barbara
1984
Courtney: Mason, you look wonderful in your tux. Mason: But not as lovely as you two ladies. What did you do, Madeline, mug a chandelier on the way in?
Ted: Oh, come on Julia, haven't you ever been in love? Julia: Yes. I've also had scarlet fever and the measles. Ask me which one I liked best.
Lionel Lockridge: The doctor says I'm going to live. Augusta Lockridge: Am I to be spared nothing?
C.C.: They ought to call my biography, "The Man Whose Wives Refuse To Die."
Augusta Lockridge: Laken, I know I raised you to be cheerful and always look on the bright side of things, but forget about all that right now because this is a time of crisis!
Gina: I only blackmail people who can afford it! I know what I'm doing!
Gina: I stole his sperm. Lily: You WHAT? Gina: You heard me! I don't want to repeat it! Lily: What - did you follow him around with a little bottle until - Gina: No, no, no, it wasn't like that! I got a job at a sperm bank where I knew he made a deposit and I simply... made a... withdrawal.
Julia Wainwright Capwell: No, Gracie, you can't push yet! Not 'til the baby's head's out! Mason: Julia, if the woman wants to push - Julia Wainwright Capwell: What'd you do, get a uterus for Christmas?
(Struggling to come up with nice things to say about Gina) Mason: Well, I never actually saw her pull the wings off butterflies.
Lionel Lockridge: Let's talk about trust. We used to have that. Augusta Lockridge: Yes. We also used to have a Studebaker.
Andrea Bedford: I keep trying to say goodbye to my father, but its like writing in invisible ink, you know? It doesn't take.
Mason: Someday I think it would be amusing if great historians debated who was worse CC Capwell or Attila the Hun.
Gina: Mason be nice. Act normal for a change. Mason: Nice isn't normal for me.
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