Sabrina the Animated Series

1999

Zelda: You were only 200 years old, you were just a kid.

Sabrina Spellman: (about doctor visit) I heard you scream. Salem: Yeah I screamed, ya should've seen the bill.

(Has created a new plant) Uncle Quigley: I'll name it after the both of us. I'll call it the Squigley.

Uncle Quigley: You three are grounded! Salem: Good move, Quigster! Uncle Quigley: You're grounded too, Salem, I hate it when you call me Quigster.

Gemeni "Gem" Stone: Why hello there, Smellman!

(The theme of the school dance) Sabrina: The rocking '80s. Hilda: '80s? Zelda: I think she means the 1780s! Hilda: Oh.

Tim the Witch Smeller: You haven't seen the last of me! Hilda: Yeah well I didn't really like seeing the first of ya.

Hilda: I babysat for Atilla the Hun.

Salem: Welcome to Sabrina's Quizmasters! Here's the question: When witches make a BLT, they use bacon, lettuce and... ? Sabrina: Toes! Salem: Wrong! The answer was cement.

Hilda: We qualify for the senior citizen age. Box Office Attendant: I'll have to see some I.D. Hilda: (Shows ancient birth certificate) Signed by the Pharroh himself!

Hilda: Morning, Salem. Salem: Morning, Hilda. Zelda: (Disguised as Hilda) 'Morning, Salem. Salem: 'Morning, Hilda... Huh?

Sabrina: In my family, some of my closest relatives are monsters.

Sabrina: (over phone) Hello? Anyone! Help, we're in trouble! Salem: (relaxed) Yes that's nice. Sabrina: Also, Salem, unless you pick up the phone now, those secret pictures of you are going out over the internet. Salem: Uh-oh!

Spookie Jar: (Warning about a spell) This could bring the end of the entire space/time continuum. But hey, you're in a hurry.

Sabrina: (Dangling over hole) I'm losing my grip! Salem: (sarcastically) You can say that again!

Spookie Jar: (Trying unsuccessfully to end a spell) But when the skies turn orange, beware the... Uh... porridge? Uh... smorange?

Salem: I'll have to call you back, I got Scorsese's people on the other line.

Salem: The Wicked Witch of the West is from Pennsylvania.

Salem: (Noticing Sabrina unhappy) I've coughed up hair balls that looked happier than you.

Sabrina: There's nothing like cotton candy up your nose at warp 10.

Zelda: Time for a little brain wash, rinse, dry and fold.

Salem: Give Gem a chance. After all, she's not that bad. Gem Stone: By the way, that is the ugliest cat I've ever seen. Salem: Turn her into a mouse and leave the rest to me!

Zelda: (to Salem) Touch that egg and you're getting a major flea bath!

Salem: (on Sabrina's poor baseball pitch) It calls for a sinker, not a stinker!

Sabrina: Are you still upset that you were turned down for that role in 'That Darn Cat'? Salem: Yeah.

Sabrina: Why does Harvey put mud in his pant cuffs? Chloe: He's a guy. He doesn't need a reason.

Sabrina: Don't worry, the ground will break your fall.

Chloe: It could be worse. Sabrina: Don't say it. Chloe: It could be raining. (Begins to pour rain) Sabrina: You just had to say it.

Slugloafe: Sixth graders sure are getting smaller.

(Salem accidentally swallows a button) Sabrina: Did you swallow it? Salem: It's not the ingestion I'm worried about. It's the out-jestion.

Salem: (Sabrina is riding her bike and Salem is in the basket) Watch out, Vikings playing hopscotch!

Salem: Tell me where the cat nip is or I'll blackmail it out of you.

Harvey: Hey Sabrina, we could make a TV show around your talking cat. Salem: Yeah like I'd really sell out!

Salem: Can you keep it down? I'm trying to concentrate. Hilda: You're playing tic-tac-toe. Salem: And losing thanks to you.

Sabrina Spellman: I just wanted a purse! Salem: Yeah and Gilligan just wanted a three hour tour.

Salem: Why are you dressed like The Brady Birds?

Sabrina: (bored) I can't believe we're going to Monument Island to learn about Johnny Cakes. Gemeni "Gem" Stone: What's a Johnny Cake? Sabrina: It's like a pancake, except the natives didn't have any flour so they used sawdust.

Zelda: While we're at the Halloween ball, we need someone to look after Sabrina. Salem: Hey what am I? Chopped liver? Hilda: But you're a cat. Salem: I'm also older than you and I can lick my back.

Salem: I said if I could find Sabrina I'd be happy as a clam. Next thing I know, I'm a giant bivalve. Go figure.

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