Rugrats

1991

Drew: Your taxes come to $320. Stu: $320? How could it be? Drew: Oops. Forgot the decimal point. That actually comes to $32,000.

(Eating animal crackers) Tommy: That's the fun of it, Chuckie; you never know what you're going to get until you get it. Chuckie: It's not fun for me.

Angelica: You babies are so dumb, I can't believe you lived to be one.

Tommy: Sometimes a baby's gotta do what a baby's gotta do.

Angelica: Chanukah is that special time of year between Christmas and Misgiving when all the bestest holiday shows are on TV.

(Didi is preparing for her appearance on the game show "Super Stumpers.") Didi: There is no way he'll get this one. Alan Quebec: What was President Nixon's... (contestant Edmund buzzes in) Edmund: Ketchup and cottage cheese. Alan Quebec: Correct. Didi: Huh?

Charlotte Pickles: Angel, when you don't share, well, it... it won't look good on the application for Harvard.

Kira: I am sorry about Fifi. I did not realize she would affect your allergies. Chaz: That's okay, my immune system should kick in, in a few years.

(Betty is using a computer to program Stu's latest invention with the qualities of a good mother) Computer voice: System overload. System overload. Betty DeVille: Now you know how I feel, cupcake.

Phil: If you turn into a bug first, I'm gonna eat you.

(concerned because Angelica has told them they are going to turn into bugs) Chuckie: Don't step on me, Phil! I'm not a bug yet! Phil: If you turn into a bug afore me I'm gonna eat you!

Angelica: If you have to ask, you'll never know.

Angelica: Sometimes I wish I could be you, so I could be friends with me.

Chuckie: OH NO. IT'S WORSE THEN A MONSTER. IT'S ANGELICA.

Angelica C. Pickles: I am wonderful aren't I? And lets face it I am definitely talented... JAZZ HANDS.

Chuckie: So, we got a baby now. Lillian 'Lil' DeVille: I wished we'd a talked about it first. I don't know if I'm ready.

Kimi Watanabe-Finster: Fly Superthing, fly.

Tommy: Everything's back to Norman.

Chuckie: Coffee anyone? Tommy: Sure, I'll have a cup of Jobe.

Angelica: You dumb babies, monsters are just frigments of your infactuation.

Kira: What we need is a Feng Shui. Chaz: Gesunteit.

Chuckie: Guys, guys. I squished Angelica. Tommy: That's OK, Chuckie, you didn't mean to squish her. Phil: And even if you did- that's OK.

(Thinking that they wished Dil away) Tommy: But... but... people just don't disappear because you wish for them to. Phil: Yeah, Angelica- you're still here.

Drew: Where's your mother? Angelica: She's in the shower. She says she has to wash away the stench of failure. Drew: Uh Oh...

Plumber: Hopes this doesn't get me banned from the house.

Alan Quebec: This tool is used to tighten bolts... (Didi buzzes in) Didi: What is a torque wrench? Alan Quebec: You're absolutely right... and Didi you don't have to answer in form of a question.

Chuckie: I'm telling you, Tommy, that Santa's a bad guy. He's always watching you, keeping track of everything you do, and then in the middle of the night he breaks into your house with a big bag full of who-knows-what.

Angelica: It all started when the first present was given by the Pilgrims a long, long time ago. After that, everybody started giving presents... even the Easter Bunny started giving them 'til Santa slapped him with a lawsuit.

Charles Finster Sr : When I was a kid, Christmas was always kind of disappointing. The best gift I ever got was a rubber glove and a tongue depressor.

Tommy: I don't get it. We've looked everywhere. Phil: It's hard to find the meanie of Chanukah.

Grandma Kerpacketer: If Shlomo and Boris make it through tonight's performance without killing each other, that will be the miracle of Chanukah.

Schlomo: A menorah is, uh, like the nightlight of our people. In times of darkness it shines on the whole world reminding us not to be afraid to be different, but to be proud who we are.

Phil: What is it? Tommy: I don't know. But every night I have to wear a funny hat while Grandpa Boris says some stuff I don't understand and Mom lights another candle. Chuckie: Sounds scary. Tommy: Yeah. But then I get a present.

Tommy: Hang on to your diapies babies, we're going in.

Lil: What are we gonna do now, Phillip? We never catched our buggie. Phil: Nope, I got 'im. (burp!)

Chuckie: (after Phil and Lil knock his rock collection on the ground) Look! Now they're all on the ground! Phil: (whispered to Lil) Didn't they used to be on the ground?

Chuckie: They're scary just like the English Muffins!

Angelica: Only some of us stay beautiful unless you go and get elastic perjury.

Phil: (Phil and Lil are eating worms) How about you eats the head and I eats the tail? Lil: Okay. Phil: Um, which one's which?

(Chuckie happily deflated a blow-up clown) Chuckie: He's gone! He's gone! He's gone! He's gone! Angelica: Yup, flat as a cat on the highway.

(in the kitchen, Stu stirs a pot over the stove - Didi enters) Didi: Stu, what are you doing? Stu: Making chocolate pudding. Didi: It's four o'clock in the morning! Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding? Stu: Because I've lost control of my life.

Chuckie: (after Finding Chazz buried in the sand on the beach with only his head visible) AAAAAAAH! MY DAD'S BEEN DECAFINATED!

Angelica: You Babies are so dumb, I'm suprised you even know which end of the bottle to suck!

Chuckie: We better get inside before we get wet. Phil: (patting his diaper) I'm already wet! Lillian 'Lil' DeVille: (also Patting Diaper) Me too! Phil, Lillian 'Lil' DeVille: (both Giggle)

Stu: (about taking Tommy to a child psychologist) There's nothing wrong with Tommy. Didi: How can you say that? Drawing on the walls proves that he cannot find a constructive outlet for his repressed, social anxieties. Stu: Deed, he's a year old!

Didi: (about sending Tommy and Grandpa to the grocery store) I hope they come back with something besides 40 boxes of Fudgy Dingaling bars. Stu: I hope they come back.

Steve: (about cleaning up the spill on Aisle 4 after Tommy trashed the grocery store) Your turn, dude. Larry: No way, man, I had to clean up the sodas. Steve: Well, I just mopped up the baby powder. Larry: Well, I had to pick up the lobsters. Steve: That was at least an hour ago. It's your turn. Larry: Forget you. Steve: Forget you, too, man!

Drew: I did it. I actually did it. I disciplined Angelica.

Tommy: (after he and Chuckie lost Cynthia) Angelica, we got something to tell ya'. Um, it's about Cynthia. Angelica: (pleading) Oh, Tommy, do you know where she is? (suddenly violent) 'Cause when I find out who took her, I'll mash 'em and crash 'em and smash 'em into a million zillion blobs of applesauce! (normally) Now, what did you want to tell me? Tommy: (gulp) Um... nothing.

Didi: (Didi is filling out a form to renew her bank membership) Blood type? Hmm... well, I think I'm negative, but I'm not positive.

Louis Kalhern 'Grandpa' Pickles II: I remember your husband when he was Tommy's age! He had a face full of oatmeal and a load in his pants!

Chuckie: (to Tommy) Is your Dad mad at me? I've never heard him say words like that before.

Angelica: (about Grandpa's sister) She's not just my aunt; she's my great-aunt once removed! Louis Kalhern 'Grandpa' Pickles I: If she can be removed once, then...

Angelica: When life gives you lemons, make apple sauce.

Tommy: Hey, Chuckie? Chuckie: What, Tommy, What? I' trying to sleep! Tommy: I was just thinking about green Jello. Chuckie: Green Jello? Tommy: Yeah, how do they do it? Chuckie: Do what? Tommy: Make it green. Chuckie: I don't know, Tommy, I'm going to sleep. (Tommy goes to sleep but Chuckie lies awake wide eyed) Chuckie: How do they make it green?

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