Rubin and Ed
1991
Rubin: I am the king of the echo people!
Rubin: My cat can eat a whole watermelon.
Ed: I'll be quiet. Quiet as a well-digger's ass.
Rubin: Why don't you keep your hands off other people's refrigerators!
Ed: Man, it is el warmo out here.
Rubin's Mother: Why don't you go out and make yourself a friend? Rubin: No! RM: Yes! Rubin: No! RM: Well then take out the trash.
Ed: Oh it's going to get weird now, isn't it?
Ed: You know what the biggest difference between you and a rich man is? He has money and you don't! And if you were smart, you would ask yourself why!
Ed: You know what the biggest difference between me and a rich man is? He has my bitchy wife and I don't! And if he were smart, he would ask himself why!
Ed: All those years in bed, I never had ONE! SINGLE! ORGASM! Rula: ARRGGGLE!
Ed Tuttle: (seeing a reflection on a mountain in the distance) Yep, there's an asswipe up there.
(upon finding themselves stuck in the desert, and needing transportation) Rubin Farr: Can't you just call The Organization? Have them come pick us up? Ed Tuttle: Just... give 'em a buzz, tell 'em I'm stuck in the middle of the desert with an asswipe and a frozen cat.