Michael: I'm not completely emotionally retarded. I have feelings.

Max: It's not that I dislike you. Tess: You don't have to spare my feelings. Nasedo taught me not to get wrapped up in... this. It's not really who I am. I'm not human. Neither are you. Max: It's the only life I've ever known. Tess: That's not true. You lived another life, Max... a life completely different from this one... a life when you loved me. Max: I don't remember that. Tess: I do.

Kyle: What do you suppose alien crystals are going for on EBay?

Isabel: Okay. I'm just going to make it simple. And I don't even think is that big of a deal anyway so I'm just gonna say it and you can react. There's, there's someone I want to tell about us. Michael: I'm glad you don't think that's a big deal. Max: Who? Isabel: He's name is Jesse Ramirez. You both know him. He's... Max: The lawyer that works for Dad? Isabel: Yeah. Max: And why do you wanna tell him? Isabel: Because we've gotten close. Max: Close? Isabel: Yes, close. Max: Meaning you and he are... Isabel: Involved. Michael: Are you pregnant? Isabel: No. We haven't even slept together. Michael: Has he seen you use your powers? Isabel: No. Michael: Why are we having this conversation? Max: Why do you need to tell him? Isabel: I don't need to, I want to. I want him to know because I want to be honest with him. I love him and I want him to know me. I don't wanna hide. God, do you know how humiliating this is for me? To have to come here and ask your permission to have an open conversation with my boyfriend? Can you just imagine it for a second, put yourself in my position. Michael: I'm gonna put this as simple as possible. Isabel, I'm happy you have a boyfriend. Congrats. That said, lie about the alien thing. Isabel: He's gonna leave, Max. If I'm not honest with him, he's gonna leave. Max: How long have you two been? Isabel: Three months. But I know him. I know him. This is the first time I've ever felt his way. I'm in love with him. If I lose this, I don't know what the hell I'm doing here on Earth. I mean, you have Liz, Michael has Maria. This is the first time I've had someone.

Max: Gotta feed the monkey.

Max: I'll have an Alien Blast. Liz: (under her breath) Me too.

Maria: Oh my god, its just not kissing that goes on in the eraser room. The Eraser room does two things: Cleans erasers and takes our innocence. Do you know what I mean by "takes our innocence", Liz? The Eraser room has taken some of the best of us...

Phillip Evans: I need you to tell me why. Max: I can't ever tell you the truth. Please, don't make me lie to you. Phillip Evans: I'm sorry, son, silence is not acceptable. And neither is a lie. Not after what we've just been through. No, not under my roof. Max: I can respect that. I just want to thank you for helping Liz. I'll always appreciate that. I'll come by home to pack my things. Goodbye, Dad.

Jeffrey 'Jeff' Parker: Did you have fun? Where you been? I'm asking you man to man where you took my daughter in the middle of the night. Max: We went to the desert. We didn't do anything wrong. Jeffrey 'Jeff' Parker: It was wrong for you to see her at all. You know that. Max: I'm sorry. I love her. Jeffrey 'Jeff' Parker: I don't give a damn about your love. Because of you, my daughter was arrested for armed robbery. She could've been killed! Did you ever think about that? Tell me you're not dangerous, Max. Tell me that being with you doesn't put my little girl's life in jeopardy. Yeah, that's what I thought. So now this is gonna stop. It's gonna stop right now. And you are never to see Liz again. And if you do. If I find out that you as much as sat next to her in class she'll be on the next plane to Vermont. Max: Vermont? Jeffrey 'Jeff' Parker: The Winnaman Academy. It's an all-girls boarding school. Her mother and I filled out all the paperwork and the application was accepted. So all I've got to do is write a check and put Liz on the next plane. Max: You would do that? You would do that just to. Jeffrey 'Jeff' Parker: Just to keep her away from you. Yes, I would. And I will. Goodbye, Max.

Liz: (when she's turning into an alien after Max heals her) You healed me, and now I'm different.

Max: You lied to me about Vilandra. Isabel: I don't know what you're... Max: Shut up! She betrayed me... and Michael and Tess and our mother... our whole planet! Isabel: Who told you this? Did she tell you this? Max: She cared enough to apologize to me. I had to hear it from a stranger. And yet, my own sister... Isabel: All right, Max. Fine. Fine. Now you know. I was sick of keeping it a secret. Sick of worrying about disappointing you. The great king. Max: I trusted you! Isabel: I didn't do anything! I didn't do anything, and I'm not going to stand around and be accused of something someone else did in another lifetime! Something completely irrelevant. Max: If it's so irrelevant, why didn't you tell me? Isabel: Because! I have my own life, and I can't live it when I am busy trying to prove myself to you all the time. Trying to prove I won't betray you! It is exhausting, living with that. Max: I never asked you to prove yourself. Isabel: Yes, you did. You treat everybody like they're your property. I don't belong to you, Max. I never did. Max: I feel like I don't even know you. Isabel: How could you? All you care about is yourself. And Liz Parker, of course. Maybe you're finally getting what you deserve. Finally looking in the mirror and seeing what you really are, and you are no king. You are a self-centered, self-indulgent little boy!

Max: Morning. You-you're going for a run? That must be up to five to six miles by now. (Isabel ignores him) Look, I know you're still mad and everything, but uh, I-I really need someone to talk to. (Isabel sits in front of him, glaring at him) Well, it's not easy to say, but uh, especially to my sister, but uh, you know that Tess and I have been giving a long and kind of cross and last night, we... things... something came up between us... something happened. Isabel: You slept with her? Max: Yeah. Isabel: (sarcastically) Wow. Congratulations, Max. You lost your virginity. (she unenthusiastically applauds) Max: Is... Isabel: Oh, gee, I'm sorry. Were you looking for some sort of comfort or sympathy before you went off and washed her dried sweat from your body? Or hey, did you guys do it in the shower? Max: Forget it. Isabel: His majesty will now retire to his room! Max: We didn't plan it, all right? It just happened. I'm feeling a little weird about it right now and... I'm just hoping... Isabel: You were wrong. I don't care about your morning after anxieties, or your delicate feelings. Because my feelings sure as hell don't matter to you.

Danny: How did I get to California? Michael: I don't know, maybe you were kidnapped by aliens or something.

Michael: (to Maria) The moment I kidnapped you and stole your car I knew you were the girl for me.

Liz: That's it? Tell him what we found out. Kyle: No. Liz: Kyle, your grandfather was right. You have to tell your father. Kyle: I don't think so. Liz: Kyle, your family is a damn nightmare. Somebody has to break the cycle of silence. Kyle: Yeah, someone should. Liz: Yeah, someone should. Kyle: Me? Why me? Why should I break the silence? Liz: Who cares who breaks it? Just do it! Kyle: Let me think about it. Liz: No! Just do it. Mr Valenti? Mr Valenti, could you come in here, please? Kyle: Liz, you have no right to intrude on my dysfunctional... Hey, Dad. Liz: Hi, Mr Valenti. Kyle here has something he'd like to talk to you about. Valenti: Oh, yeah? What's that? Liz: I have to go. Have a really nice talk.

Max: Liz, I just want to put everything that happened behind us. Liz: Yeah, you know I would too if I had impregnated an alien killer who had murdered one of our best friends and then left the planet with my unborn child. Max: So, you're still holding on to that?

Michael: Now if I'm gonna have a chance of graduating this year I need to get into your Bio 101 class. Mr Seligman: Why didn't you come to my Bio 101 class when you were in it? Michael: I'm turning over a new leaf. Mr Seligman: Excuse me while I take a moment to chuckle within.

Isabel: I wish this could all be out in the open. Jesse: I'm still not sure why it can't be. Isabel: Well, there's the fact that you're 26 and I'm barely legal. Jesse: You're an old soul. And you have clearly lived before. Isabel: You have no idea.

Max: Michael, what you're about to do is not a plan. It's not an idea. It's something you think about in your mind and then you come up with something better. Michael: Yeah, I don't have anything better.

Maria: Where were you? Michael: Where was I supposed to be? Maria: We were supposed to have lunch at school today. Michael: Today's Saturday. Maria: Today's Friday. Hello, where are you? Michael: I'm right here. Where's Saturday? Maria: What, are you guys saving the world from alien invasion? Michael: Would that keep you from kicking my ass?

Liz: Voilá. M&M-Tabasco-swirl cookies. I came up with the recipe all by myself. Maria: A care package. Max is so spoiled, man. Liz: No, he is not. Maria: Liz, he hasn't been gone more than a week. Liz: Could you just let me finish? Because he's calling in less than an hour. Maria: Really? Liz: Uh-huh. Maria: Are you guys gonna talk or just breathe heavy into the phone? Or are you gonna repeat each other's names back and forth, and back and forth? Liz: Stop it!

Isabel: Why is it that you feel that you are above doorbells? Michael: Got your message. Is it a joke? Isabel: No, I'm getting married. Michael: We agreed not to bring anyone else into this. Isabel: Michael, I don't want to put my life on hold. This is my one chance to be happy, to love someone and have him love me back without all of this garbage that has made us miserable our whole lives getting in the way. I've put a lot of thought into it and I don't see any reason to why Jesse has to know the truth. Michael: Well, knowing what I know about alien sex he's gonna have questions after the honeymoon. Isabel: OKay, Michael, get out of my room. Michael: What did Max say? Isabel: I'm going to tell him when he gets back. Come on, Michael, just congratulate me. Michael: On what?

Max: You can't kill me, can you? You've had so many chances. Utah. Yesterday in the film vault. But you can't, because you're my protector. Get as mad as you want, but get one thing straight: I am not going anywhere until you help me.

Isabel: (Answers the phone) Hello? Max: So you think you're getting married? Isabel: How did you, how did you find that out? Max: Mom tracked me down. Isabel, you've only known this guy for a month. Isabel: Four months and don't call him 'this guy'. Max: Either way, I don't see the urgency. Isabel: You know what? I'm not going to have this conversation with you on the phone. Max: Look, just don't make any more plans until I get back. Isabel: Stop it! I am not a child. Max: Yeah, well, you're acting like one. Isabel: (Hangs up)

Kal: I destroyed my life for you tonight. All for nothing. Because of you everything I've worked for is gone. Max: Kal. Kal: That's how you've always been, Your Majesty. Selfish and ungrateful. Being your protector might be encoded in my genes but after tonight I'll never stop hating you.

Michael: What's going on with your mom? Isabel: I'm getting married in two weeks and she told me she wanted nothing to do with the wedding. I'm all alone in this, Michael. Do you have any idea how that feels? Max found out the other day. You can imagine what his reaction was. That's why I wanted- I just- I needed you to congratulate me the other night. Can you be on my side just this once? Michael: Isabel, you don't care what I think. Isabel: How can you say that? Michael: Because if you did, then you wouldn't have had Maria break the news. Isabel: I'm sorry. That was stupid. I just- I was afraid you would freak out, and I didn't think that I could handle it, so- I'm sorry. I know that you're worried about Jesse but I'm going to keep him safe. Michael: I hope you can. Isabel: Michael, your opinion means as much to me as Max's. You're like a brother to me too. Michael: So in two weeks? Isabel: Less than, actually. Michael: Congratulations, Isabel. Isabel: Thank you.

Liz: When did you get back? Max: Just now. Liz: You didn't call. Max: I was driving all night. I just had to get back to see you. I- I'm sorry. Liz: Can't do this, Max. I love you, but you know, lately I just haven't been feeling it back. Max: I didn't mean to... Liz: Well, you did. Max: Liz, I know you've been here alone, waiting for me, and- And I've- It was wrong. Liz: No, Max. What, Max? What happened? Max: I failed and my son, he's up there somewhere. I've just messed everything up. Langley's life. Yours. I'm so sorry, Liz. I'm so sorry. Liz: It's okay. It's okay. Max: I'll never leave you, Liz.

Isabel: What are you guys doing here? Michael: Taking care of your problem. Max: Why didn't you tell us before you left? Isabel: Well, I didn't expect him to follow me here. Michael: He sure as hell doesn't have the hots for us now, does he?

Michael: Let's go scuba diving. Max: Are you serious? Michael: When else? You gotta seize the moment, Max. Max: I've gotta get back home. Michael: There'll be plenty of time for intense brooding moments with Liz later. Max: We were just almost obliterated by an alien killer. Michael: Which is why we need to chill. Max: Chill? Michael: Exactly, chill. See some stingrays. Max: You're really serious about this. Michael: Yeah.

Max: Get him out of here. You ok? Michael: Hey, whatever-your-name-is. Isabel: I think so. Kivar: Where am I? Michael: La Jolla. Come on, you need to call your wife. Kivar: How did I get in California? Michael: I don't know. Maybe you were kidnapped by aliens or something. Come on, let's go.

Max: We still need your healing stone. Michael: I think it's at Maria's. Max: You think it's at Maria's? Michael: Yeah, I don't know. Most likely. Max: I bet if it was one of your Metallica CDs, you'd know where it was. Michael: Hey, you wanna bring that up again? The reason I got pissed is because you put "And Justice For All" before "Master of the Puppets". Max: Yeah, in alphabetical order. Michael: They go in order of the release date. Max: And you don't know where your healing stone is? Michael: Do you still wanna sleep on my couch?

Michael: It's a pretty busy night, huh? Liz: Mm-hm. Michael: How much money do you think we pull in on a night like tonight? Liz: Do you know that you really suck at small talk? Why don't you just tell Dr Parker what's on your mind. Michael: Okay, tell me, do I need to be worried about this Billy guy? Liz: No, you don't. He's completely harmless. Michael: But you think he's good-looking, right? Liz: Well, yeah, if you like that sort of thing, I guess. Michael: The good-looking sort of thing? Liz: Michael. Michael: Do you really think he missed his bus? Liz: Yes, I do. Haven't you ever missed a bus before? Michael: No, because I don't take the bus. And I don't write songs. And I don't cook with freaking half-and-half! (Makes the salt containers explode) Liz: Hey, Michael! Michael: Sorry, my powers are out of control.

Liz: Everything is going to be fine between you and Maria. Trust me. Michael: She cooked him Italian food last night. Liz: Oh. Michael: I knew it. It's a problem. Liz: No, it's not a problem. It's just, um, it's food. Michael: No, Liz. It's Italian food. Liz: Michael, please don't do anything stupid. Or alien! Or both! Please!

Max: What happened? Michael: It's over. Max: What? My Dad found something, what? Michael: No, it's not that. I saw Maria and what's-his name, Billy, together. Max: Together as in together? Michael: Worse. Max: What could be worse? Michael: They were singing together. Max: So you're jealous? Michael: I'm not jealous! (Makes a lamp exoplode) My powers are slightly out of whack. Max: Out of whack? Michael: I've been blowing things up all day.

Max: I saw the board in your office. I know what you're doing. Phillip Evans: And what am I doing? Max: It's isn't right to spy on your own son. Phillip Evans: I'm not spying. I'm trying to figure out what's going on. Is my concern for you a threat? Max: Do I threaten you? Phillip Evans: You frighten me, Max. I don't think I know who you are anymore. I'm beginning to think I've never known. Max: I'm your son. Phillip Evans: With secrets. My biggest fear is that they're terrible secrets, that you're in trouble, and I can't help. Max: You can't help because I'm not in trouble. Phillip Evans: Not in trouble? Max, if it wasn't for me you'd be rotting in jail right now. I put my reputation on the line for you and I still don't know why.

Max: So did you and Maria officially break up? Michael: I thought so. But the more she says, the more confusing it gets. She wants space, but she still wants me in her life. All I know for sure is that I'm not getting any. Let's grab a burger. Max: That's not exactly giving her space. Michael: I'm not gonna starve because I have a weird girlfriend. Max: You know, Liz's dad is still freaked. I'm not allowed in the Crashdown. Michael: Do it anyways, it'll make her hot.

Maria: Do we have a problem? Michael: No, we don't. I do. Maria: How can I help? Michael: Be patient with me. Maria: Always. Michael: Don't say it like that, like I'm a kid. Maria: That's not what I meant. What are you worried about? Really. What can I do? Michael: Tell your friend to leave. He shouldn't be here. It's not a good time. Maria: Not a good time? Let me ask you a question, Michael. Michael: Here we go. Maria: No, don't do that. Michael: You ask 'What can I do?' and I tell you. Maria: When is it a good time? Michael: To step out with an old boyfriend? Maria: He is not an old- Would you just-? Michael: Where's your patience now?

Maria: I want to break up. I want out because I love you so much. I love you more than you could possibly know. Michael: I'm lost. Maria: No, I'm lost. And you've been there the whole time to help me through all of it. Michael: All of what? Maria: This whole thing. Alien, human, the scary stuff, the bad stuff. Michael: There was fun stuff too. Maria: Yeah, but I haven't been honest through any of it. Michael: Listen, if you're tying to tell me you're a bisexual or something I'm cool with that. I'm- Why do you want out? Maria: Because, Michael, I don't think I've ever been in. I mean, this girl you've known for the past three years, this Maria, it's just not me. Michael: Of course it's you. Maria: No, it's not the me I used to be. Michael: Things change. Maria: Yeah, things change. Michael: Just like that? Will you come back to me? Maria: I don't know.

Michael: So, Paul, are you a football player because you look like a football player. Paul: Hockey. Michael: Hockey. Now there's a man's sport. What's your favorite team? Paul: The Rangers. Michael: Okay, that's where we go our separate ways.

Kyle: (Talking to the Buddha statue) Thank you. Now that my immortal soul has been cleansed on to more terrestrial concerns. It's been a dry couple years. Kyle needs a woman. Kyle needs her badly. Kyle needs her tonight. (Hears a knocking on the door) Well, thank you. But if that's a Jehovah's Witness, I'm coming back here.

Michael: What's that stench? Is that you? Maria: I don't have a stench. Max: Might be your perfume. Michael: It smells like road kill. Maria: It's 50 bucks an ounce, man. Michael: That stuff stinks. Maria: You know, you're an ass, man.

Maria: Who still wants to find a party? Liz: Oh, I think that might be this guy right here. Maria: Oh, Max, the chaperone thing, really, it's getting old and it's completely unnecessary right now. Max: All right, that's it. I'm going to that party. Wish me luck. Liz: Good luck. Max: Let's go. Party train is leaving. Maria: Is he serious? Liz: Very.

Max: No, no, that's wrong. It was a Navajo White. That's more Eggshell. Michael: And I'm the one who needs a hobby?

Isabel: Did you forget something? Jesse: Yeah, my balls. (Max and Michael laughs) Were you guys just talking about me? Isabel: That's a little paranoid, don't you think? I mean the whole world doesn't revolve around you. Max: It revolves around Michael. Michael: That's a fact.

Jesse: Were you guys just talking about me? Isabel: No, silly. The world doesn't revolve around you! Max: Yeah, it revolves around Michael. Michael: That's me!

Max: (Sees Michael watching "Bewitched") Okay, this is officially not funny anymore. Michael: I'd ask what your problem is, Maxwell, but I really don't care. Max: Michael, you have got to get a life. Michael: Thanks for the heartfelt advice. You can leave now.

Max: Somebody wanna tell me what's going on? Jesse: Max! You can't just go around turning people into dogs. Max: I won't stand here and be lectured by the descendant of an ape. Isabel: Max, change him back, please. Max: He seems to know our little secret. Now how could that have happened? Jesse: He doesn't know anything. Unless, of course, he's seen you flying around the neighborhood in the saucer again. Max: You go for one joyride and they never let you forget it. Isabel: Max, I don't want him to piddle on the carpet. Max: In a minute, Speaking of the saucer Michael broke the cloaking device so I had to park it in your basement for now. Jesse: In the basement? Max: Am I speaking too fast for your human brain to follow? Jesse: How did you get it in there? Isabel: He used the time-space slipstream, dear. Max: Duh.

Jesse: (On the golf course) You want to take a mulligan? Michael: No, I don't take drugs.

Isabel: Michael, what are you going to tell Eric? Michael: I'll think of something. Isabel: I don't know what worries me more, when you don't think or when you do. Michael: That's funny. You should be on a sitcom.

Liz: No, I don't want to tell Max. Not yet. Kyle: But he's the one that healed us. He needs to know. Liz: I'm scared to tell him. Kyle: Why? You go to him for everything. Liz: No, he risked so much when he healed me. It's what made me fall in love with him. Kyle: Yeah, me too. Liz: Kyle! Kyle: Look, what's going on here is really scary. If I don't lighten the mood I might loose it.

Michael: You guys are always giving me crap about being impulsive and stupid. Well, you know what's stupid? Sneaking around the desert while your father's watching our every move. Max: Shut up, Michael. Michael: Whose idea was it to bury the alien stuff anyway? I mean, what are we? Eight? It's called a safety deposit box.

Liz: Just stop hurting me. Max: I wasn't trying to. Liz: No, but, Max, you do. You always do. Why did you sleep with her? Why? Max: Liz. Liz: Every single time you mention your son I am reminded of what you did to me. How you were unfaithful. How can you not know that?

Maria: So, do you get hungry just like the rest of us?

Maria: Stop it and listen to me, all right? I need my best friend right now because our other best friend just died, and I feel lost and scared and just completely wrecked, and I know that we're supposed to go to school, and go to work, and finish this yearbook tribute, but I just can't... I don't have a handle on things. I feel like everything is just slipping by me, and I don't even... I don't even know if I'm alive right now. So please, just stop focusing on this thing, that isn't even there. And just be sad with the rest of us, ok? Please. Liz: So you don't believe me, either. Maria: I'm - no, I'm sorry, I guess I don't, Liz.

Kyle: You look really great when you're pissed. Tess: Yeah, right. Kyle: No, I'm serious. I feel, like, all this energy coming from you right now. In order to trim the lamp of wisdom, we must attend to our bodily needs. Tess: Let me tell you something, Buddha-boy... I got a lamp that needs some serious trimming.

Tess: You tell 'em Buddha Boy!

Maria: Hello? I'm singing on Saturday at the new performance space next to the museum. Michael: Yeah. But I've heard you sing before. What's the big deal?

Maria: We've both been kind of busy. Michael: (looking at her chest) Yeah, I can see that.

Alex: I was wondering - do aliens enjoy the cinema? Isabel: Alex... Alex: Yeah, right. Sorry. The 'A' word.

Isabel: Are you afraid? I mean to let someone in; to let someone see who you really are? Liz: Yeah, of course I am. Isabel: Well, multiply that by about a million.

Maria: This is the second time you've dragged me into some cheap motel. Michael: Yeah, well, don't spread it around; you'll ruin my reputation.

Isabel: I want to get the hell out of here. This place is psychologically damaging. Michael: This place could hold the answers to everything. Isabel: Yeah, I'm sure it's a real mecca for factual information

Isabel: The perfect Liz Parker lying to her mother? Liz: Yeah, well, at least my parents know what species I am.

Announcer: What's running through your mind right now? Liz: Yeah, nothing I can say on live radio.

Maria: Not if you were the last alien on Earth

Alex: OK, I want some answers, all right? Because first of all, there are rumors going around that last week you were shot here in the cafe. And then at the crash festival you (motions to Maria) were seemingly run over by a car, but then you weren't. And everytime I walk up to you two, you go silent or make up some ridiculous story about Czechoslovakia, which is a country that has not existed for 10 years. So I want the truth, and I want it now. Liz: Alex, the reason that we keep on changing the subject is... Maria: Cramps. We have cramps, Alex. Liz: Yeah, and we didn't even want to talk about it in front of you because we thought it would make you feel really uncomfortable. Maria: But if you want really want to know, we can tell you. Liz: In really excruciating detail. Alex: No. I'm eating.

Michael: So we agree. Max: Yeah. Michael: There's a first.

Max: Well I'm not from around here.

Liz: Where you from? (Max points up with his index finger) Liz: Up north? (Max points higher) Liz: You're not an, an alien, I mean. Are you? Max: Well I prefer the term not of this earth.

Michael: (pointing to the bed) I don't suppose we could share?

Michael: (about Maria) It feels so wrong, but it feels so good.

DJ: Well, hey, hold on there, dream girl. You're not gonna get off so easy. I mean, look at these guys. You got 'em hanging on by a string, and I think you owe it to them, and the KROZ listeners, to make a choice here and now. Will it be Doug, the dream man we chose for you... the ex-boyfriend, Lyle...

DJ: Or Max, who kidnapped you, and vandalized your home? What do you have to say for yourselves, men?

Doug: I thought she just wanted a normal date.

Kyle: (Drunk) Hey, I'm just happy to be nominated... and I think I'm gonna puke.

Liz: Hi. Kyle: Well, you here for a reason, or you just rushed right over 'cause you sensed I might be experiencing some actual joy?

Tess: Kind of uptight about nudity, aren't you, for a guy who reads Jugs? Kyle: Give me that. Tess: Oh... the post-its? Nice touch.

Max: I'm not involved with Tess. Maria: Just taking midnight strolls with her? Max: You saw us? Maria: Yeah. WE saw you... as in, Liz and I saw you together. Looked like a pretty romantic evening to me. Maybe a little patty-cake on the front porch before you said good night? Max: No. It's just... it's a long story. Maria: Oh, well, I certainly don't want to hear a long story unless there's a Kennedy involved. Max: I love Liz. Maria: I know you love Liz, Max. You've been telling me that the entire summer. But now that she's back, I'm the one who's doing all the work here.

Kyle: My strength fails. My vitality exhausted. I cannot find the bull. I only hear the locusts chirring through the night.

Nesedo: Sheriff Valenti, welcome to the ever-burgeoning "I know an alien" club.

Maria: Yes, yes. You're trying to figure out how to be a leader. All right. Here's a little insight. JFK. He's not so great. Cheated on his wife with tramps. Ohhhh... now there's something you and Jack have in common. You're both involved with tramps. How is Tess, by the way?

Alex: Doesn't Buddhism disapprove of gambling?

Kyle: Actually Buddha himself first coined the phrase "know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run"

Alex: And yours is obviously a deep and abiding spiritual faith.

Michael: Whoever sent us down here was smart, you know? Because they sent us together, and as long as we stick together, we're gonna make it.

Maria: The guy with the gun was kind of like a, like a muscular Beavis. And... the other one was like a, like a beefy Butthead.

Liz: (voice) It's September 24th, I'm Liz Parker and five days ago I died. But then the really amazing thing happened. I came to life.

Alex: Isabel Evans and Alex Charles Whitman out on a date? That's like, miraculous, you know, this is-this is the biggest moment of Alex Charles Whitman's life... Liz: Listen, why don't you just take some deep breaths, okay? Alex: It's just- it's amazing, you know, I-it's totally amazing, it's-it's too amazing- oh, God. It's a joke, isn't it? It's a practical joke. You two are in on it, you bastards... Liz: Alex... Alex, Alex, ummm, your paranoid schizophrenia, it's kicking in. Alex: Right. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and go have a little talk with myself.

Liz: This can never be normal, Max. Max: What's so great about normal?

Isabel: No. No. Max and Michael would never agree to letting anybody else in on the secret. I guess the truth of the matter is I sort of love Jesse not knowing. It's like we're this normal couple. Kyle: Nothing's ever easy, is it? Isabel: Nope. But, hey, I'm actually glad that you found out. It's kind of nice to talk about it. Kyle: No Problem. (laughs) Isabel: And Kyle... if you tell anybody, I'll be forced to use my formidable alien powers on you. Kyle: Cool. Cool. My day's never truly complete until my life's been threatened by an alien, so...

Liz: Max, the day that you saved my life, your life just ended. Max: No, that was the day my life began. Liz, when I was in that room, and they did what they did to me. You're what kept me alive. The thought of you. The way your eyes look into mine. Your smile. The touch of your skin. Your lips. Knowing you has made me human. Whether I die tomorrow or fifty years from now, my destiny is the same: it's you. I want to be with you, Liz. I love you. Liz: I love you.

Tess: "Buddhism for Beginners" is also under your bed. How do you think the Buddha would feel about being sandwiched between Hustler and Busty Biker Babes?

Courtney: Chill out, NYPD blue. Alex: Chill out? Chill out? I spent $150 to rent this costume. And do you have any idea how it feels to walk around all day with a thong up your ass? Courtney: Yes.

Future Max: 3... 2... 1. Liz: Well? Future Max: I said approximately.

Max: Weather I die today or fifty years from now, my destiny is the same. It's you

Liz: (writing in journal) We try to live responsible logical lives, but we can't tell our hearts what to feel. Sometimes our hearts lead us to places we never thought we wanted to go, and sometimes our hearts can be the sweetest gentlest things we have. Sometimes our hearts can make us feel miserable anger, excited and confused all at once. But at least my heart is open, and I'm writing again. I'm feeling. I'm breathing.

Max: I'm not an actor. Agent: What, and Keanu Reeves is? All you need is exposure. Max: That's the last thing I need.

Liz: At least I've been to L.A. Max: I'm not sure Disneyland counts as L.A.

Liz: Since I told her that you broke my heart - without any of the alien details, of course - she thinks that we should just take things slow. Just dinner, then straight home, no plans for future dates. No making out. Max: So I suppose skinny dipping would be against the rules, too.

Maria: (to herself as she pulls up in the car) Why can't these aliens ever get in trouble somewhere decent? Like Graceland or Tahoe or New Orleans. No, Utah. Mormons and mountains.

Max: I don't know if I could live with myself if anything ever happened to you. Liz: Max, you're an alien king. What could ever happen to me?

Maria: It's an aqua bra. You know, all the fun of implants without the invasive surgery part.

Liz: It's not that cold. Maria: You're not wearing an ice bra.

Maria: How long is this going to last, us waiting out here like this? Michael: Why? You got a date? Maria: Maybe. Isabel: You know, I'm the one that should be complaining stuck out here with you two.

Liz: Maybe you could stay for dinner. You know, Blue Moon burger, Saturn rings and a Mercury milkshake for $3.99. Max: Sounds tempting.

Maria: Clear as a bell, no mistake, that's right. Miss Topolsky, all American guidance counselor and big, fat liar. Michael: Never trust a blonde.

Michael: Stick a fork in us, Maxwell, we're done.

Max: Liz told him we were into drugs, just to get him to stop asking questions. Isabel: Great. That will be a lot easier to explain to Mom and Dad.

Maria: If it isn't Prince Charming and Quasimodo.

Liz: Max likes cherry cola. What does Michael like? Maria: Cherry cola with arsenic?

Max: You broke up? Why didn't you tell me? Michael: I don't know if we did or we didn't. It's kind of confusing. Liz: Cherry cola on the house Maria: Yours is $1.25 Michael: "I guess it's not so confusing anymore.

Alex: Why on earth, excuse the phrase, why would you be sent here to begin with? What purpose could you possibly serve? Isabel: To wipe out the world one annoying teenager at a time?

Isabel: We're just as human as you are, Alex. Only we can manipulate the molecular structure of things. Alex: What?

Liz: How is it possible I could be the happiest I've ever been in my entire life and now the saddest, all at one time? Max: I think that's what being in love is.

Max: (From under Alien head) Save me... I'm a human trapped in an alien body. Isabel: You realize we've just lost our last shred of dignity.

Customer: I am Zenaplox from the planet Zetagon. I come to destroy humanity and return to my home planet. Liz: Well, then, it's really great that you're starting out with a nice, hearty breakfast.

Max: Michael, I have to talk to you about something... personal Michael: Nothing's too personal. Max: How did you deal with Maria? Michael: Too personal.

Max: You're the sheriff... you're supposed to protect me. You want me? Well, here I am. Valenti: Son... Max: Would you treat your son this way?"

Maria: Come on. Wiggle your nose, blink your eyes. Do your Samantha/Jeannie/alien thing. Michael: I can't. Maria: Why not? If there was ever a time to have a secret power, this is it.

Liz: We thought you were in trouble. I guess we were wrong. Maria: No, no. You don't think, I mean that is like so unreal. Come on, (kicking Michael) would you tell them? Michael: Come on honey. We don't have to lie. Isabel: I believe you. The day Michael calls anyone honey, it's all over.

Maria: You kidnap me and blow up my car and you expect me to spend the night with you in here? Michael: Not exactly my fantasy evening either.

Isabel: (to Liz) Your favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla?

Max: You are so full of it. Michael: I just call it like I see it. Max: You can't compare The Matrix to Crouching Tiger. Michael: Crapping Tiger is a chick flick with kung-fu. Max: First of all, Crappi... Crouching Tiger is actually about something. Love. Honor. Trust. Michael: Matrix is about something. Illusion, reality, gunfire. Max: You simply can't prefer Keanu Reeves to Michelle Yeoh. You can't... I won't let you...

(Michael is fixing up a bumper Maria's christmas gift.) Isabel comes in with her arms full of presents Michael: It's a bumper. For a Jetta. Isabel: Hmmm. How did what I said yesterday result in this? Michael: It meets all your criteria. It's personal, because I personally know what a bug she has up her ass about how much we screwed up her car. It's thoughtful, because I had to go to the junkyard and get it, and it's something she would never get herself for the obvious reason that her bumper's been hanging from a string for the past half-year. Isabel: Ok, Michael. This is what I'm gonna do. I am going to take the Christmas dog show off my calendar and take you shopping and rectify this situation. Michael: No. I'm not gonna get obsessed over this present. This is fine. I'm not gonna make everyone else around me miserable. Isabel: What are you saying? That I get obsessed and make everyone around me miserable? Michael: (quickly) I didn't say that.

Max: Why didn't you tell me about this, Michael? Micheal: You mean why didn't I get your approval?

Michael: (to Max) You have one of the top three pickup lines in history with "it's gunna help me find my home planet.

Max: Uh, listen Liz is on her way over. Isabel: (Looking to Michael) Okay we'll leave. Max: You guy's don't have to leave. Michael: Go, poor Maxwell. For the good of all mankind. Max: Michael, that's not what this is about for me. Michael: Don't make me beg you to do what you and Liz obviously wanna do any ways. I really don't see a problem with it. Max: The problem is treating someone I care about as a thing. To be used. Michael: What and that's what I'm about. That's what your saying? Max: The words are coming from your mouth Michael. Isabel: Ok, guys stop. Enough. Michael: Listen Maxwell, you are a sensitive guy, and you have available to you, one of the top pre-seduction lines in history with "it's gonna help me find my home planet", and you're refusing to use it? No guy's that sensitive. Use it.

Michael: Look, Laurie, I know a lot of people think you're pretty crazy. But the truth is, knowing everything you've been through, you seem pretty normal to me. I just want you to know that whatever you are to me - a sister, a cousin, whatever - you're the only family I've ever known, and I just found you. I don't... I don't want to let you go. I know you're scared to death of me, but... if you could find some way to trust me... I mean, I got all kinds of faults. And this one over here, you know (gestures to Maria) she can list them off for you if you want later on, but... the one thing I am is loyal. I will not turn my back on you. That's all I got to say. I don't know.

Steve: You're a crazy bastard. You know that? Micheal: Welcome to my world.

Isabel: Happy birthday, Isabel. I'm 18 today, Mother. October 25th. At least that's the day we've always celebrated as my birthday. But you're the only one who really knows the real day. I guess that's why I came to the place, the only place I've ever seen you. I hold on to that day, but you disappeared, and the picture of you is already fading, and it's all I had. I was so happy because you were beautiful and warm, and I even thought I looked like you. But it wasn't you. Not really. God, I don't know what you look like. Maybe I'll never know. It isn't fair. It isn't fair. I need you. I need you. Where are you? Oh, God, it's my birthday and we should be together. Why... How could you leave us? How could you tell us those important information about destinies and saving the world and then just disappear? Oh, God. I... I killed a person. An... an enemy? An... an alien? Does that make it okay? Oh, God. What was she talking about? What was she talking about? She said I betrayed my family. Is it true? Oh, is it true? Am I a terrible person? Answer me. Answer me! (screams) Come on, Answer me!

Vanessa Whitaker: You don't remember, do you? Let me give you a piece of history about your planet. Your name was Vilandra and you were beautiful. Even more beautiful than you are now. You had a great love and for him, for us, you betrayed your brother, your race. Isabel: No! Vanessa Whitaker: You sacrificed him. You sacrificed everyone, even yourself. And history, my dear, always repeats itself.

(Isabel is at Alex's grave) Isabel: How can I leave now, I haven't even lived yet. Alex: I know how scary it is, to have to leave... leave this world, but as it turns out, it's not so bad. Your heart is your heart, your soul is your soul. That doesn't change. Isabel: Why should I listen to you? You're not even real - you're just a figment of my imagination. Alex: Well then you should really listen 'cause it's coming from within you. Go home. Isabel: Home to what? I was a terrible person where I come from, I betrayed my own family. And what is home, anyway? Half of me is from there, half of me is from here. What makes one half more important than the other? Alex: Well that's what you have to figure out

Diane Evans: What was that? Max: Just a memory

Valenti: Strong man. Strong hands. And he had this theory, you know? About aliens? That they were real. Sounds awfully silly, doesn't it? Maria: Yeah. Valenti: That's what everybody thought. But my father, he was a very stubborn man, and he wouldn't let it go. He believed, and he lost his job over it. And, uh, he lost his family over it. Now I would hate to see that happen to any other family in this town, wouldn't you? Now there's one more thing that you and I have in common, isn't it? (Maria begins to cry.) We've both seen things recently. Things that have made us start to wonder, made us question ourselves, our beliefs, and I think that if we share those things with each other, we're both going to feel a little bit safer. Now Isabel Evans she's just a girl? Maria: She's a special girl. Valenti: What makes her special? Maria: Where she comes from. Valenti: Where is she from? Maria, where are they from? Where did they come from? Maria: (Maria looks at him and makes a decision) A very nice family. And like you said sheriff, we wouldn't want to destroy any other families in this town, would we?

Liz: Can you really look at me and say this? I am most likely to get killed in 12 days, and what are you saying? You are saying you're pissed off because you're not getting killed too. Maria: (starting to cry) Yes- I don't-I'm falling apart here, Liz, okay? I know I'm ridiculous, I know I sound crazy but... Liz: It's just that all I have heard for the past 5 months is how you want out of the alien chaos, and now, what you want back in? Maria, Maria, which one is it? Do you want in? Or do you want out? Maria: I don't know. I don't know. Which one is better for me? You can see the future, Liz, please tell me. Hold my hand, maybe you'll have a flash or something. Tell me which one is better? Liz: Maria. Maria, listen to me, you've got to stop, okay? Who knows, all right? I can see the future, and I have no idea. Maybe you just need to decide what you want and then go get it. Okay?

(Max heals Kyle) Kyle: What the hell just happened to me? Valenti: (to Max) I don't care who you are, or what you are. I'll be here for you.

Isabel: You're not really here. Are you? Alex: No. You're talking in your sleep. Isabel: God I wish I could really talk to you Alex. Alex: I'm the next best thing. What do you want to say? Isabel: That I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Alex: Me too. Isabel: I never should have called you. Alex: I called you. Remember? Isabel: I never should've brought you into any of this. Alex: Any of what? Isabel: (bows her head) Me. My life. Alex: You think being with you had something to do with what happened? Isabel: Yes, I do. I don't know how but - God, If you hadn't been involved with me. Alex: (he tilts her chin so she's looking at him) Hey, if I was really here, I'd tell you you're full of crap. You know that. Isabel: Yeah, but it wouldn't make me feel any better. Alex: I better go. Isabel: Why? Alex: I'm not making things any better for you. Isabel: No, please. Please don't go. Alex: I'm already gone. This is just a dream you'll eventually wake up from. Isabel: Will I see you again? Alex: That depends on you. But I have a feeling, I wouldn't want me to be here. (They kiss) Bye Isabel.

(Max and Liz in Michael's kitchen studying) Liz: Stop it. Max: What? Liz: Pretending. Max: What am I pretending? Liz: That you don't know any of this. Max: It's all a mystery to me. Liz: Well, me too.

Kyle: Let the record show, I think this is a bad idea. Liz: Noted.

Maria: Repeat after me. I'm sorry Maria. Liz: I'm sorry Maria. Maria: Okay. You're forgiven. Liz: But I want to know what I did that I'm sorry for. Maria: Let it go. I have.

Isabel: No, please. Please don't go. Alex: I'm already gone. This is just a dream you'll eventually wake up from. Isabel: Will I see you again? Alex: That depends on you. But I have a feeling, I wouldn't want me to be here. (They kiss) Bye Isabel. Isabel: (crying) I love you Alex. Alex: I think we both know, I loved you too.

Isabel: Michael, this can't be. Micheal: I know. But why not?

Max: I felt that... and I know you did, too, and I know you think that... that I need to let you go... for the sake of Michael, and Isabel, and my race... so you went to Tess. But she can't be you. Tess can never be you. Liz: Max, we have to stop this. We have to. I am telling you that we have to. Max: Go out with me on Friday. There's a Gomez concert in Santa Fe. I have tickets. Liz: No. No, Max. I can't go out with you ever again. Please stop doing this. Max: I can't.

Future Max: No. The night of Gomez I came to your room. That's the night that things between us were cemented. Liz: Cemented. So when you say cemented, you... Future Max: We made love. Liz: No, no, we... we didn't. Future Max: Liz... Liz: No, I have no intention of making love to you or... or anyone else at this particular stage of my life. Future Max: I beg to differ. Liz: No. Making love to you is the farthest thing from my mind. I... I don't even have protection. Future Max: I did. Liz: Oh, that's great. There you are, Max the Saint, just walking around with a condom in his back pocket. I... I... I don't even care what happened in your reality. I am not making love to you or anyone until I am ready, and I am just not ready.

Max: Liz, they're taking our homes from us... They want to kill us... and they might... But when I look into your eyes... I don't feel angry or deprived... I feel like the luckiest half-human on the planet. You're pure... You're - You're true... And you're real. And right now that seems like the only thing that's important... I want to be with you, Liz... forever. Liz: Forever may only be twelve days. Max: Then we'll take those twelve days... and live twelve lifetimes... Liz Parker, will you marry me? Liz: ... Yes.

Tess: Michael. Micheal: What's going on? Tess: What are you talking about? Micheal: You know what I'm talking about. Nasedo has Liz. Tess: I didn't know. Micheal: The hell you didn't. You want us to trust you, but how can we if you don't tell us what you know. Tess: I can't tell you what I don't know. Micheal: Hey, Valenti is involved now. If this thing goes the wrong way, he'll know everything, and that puts us all in danger, including you. Now, get in the jeep. Tess: Michael, you don't know who you're dealing with. Micheal: No, but you do, and that's why you're coming with us.

Maria: Yeah, you had a lot to drink. Liz: I should probably go take a shower. Maria: I'm forced to agree.

Liz: Max? Max: Liz. You brought me back. Liz: I guess that makes us even.

Micheal: You scared I'm gonna find something? Max: I'm terrified they'll find you.

Jesse: I am not going without you. Isabel: You have to. Jesse: Will you come back to me? Isabel: I will keep praying that someday it will be safe enough. Jesse: Oh, I am willing to count on that.

Micheal: Where are you going? Maria: Santa Fe. Micheal: Maria, where are you going? Maria: Michael. Micheal: Liz doesn't want us to know because she and Max are at war, so here's the thing: I'm not going to tell Max, but I need to know, because if wherever you're going turns out to be dangerous, I'm sure as hell gonna be there to protect you. So, where are you going?

Kyle: He killed you? Micheal: Yeah. Max: We don't remember a lot. In our other life Khivar was our enemy. He was trying to take over my throne. Isabel fell in love with him, and helped him overtake us. It was a blood bath; we were all killed, including Isabel. Our genetic material was mixed with human DNA, and then we were sent here. Kyle: Nothing is ever simple with you people, is it?

(to Maria, who in becoming a singer, will lose Micheal) Liz: Maybe sometimes, you have to go after your dreams. But who am I to tell you to just give him up, because without your dreams, you're just me.

Maria: Nothing ever changes. Liz: Maybe you don't really want anything to change. Maria: Maybe. Or maybe neither one of us is strong enough or crazy enough to break the cycle.

Eric Hughes: So, uh, when did you meet Isabel? Jesse: July 5th. Eric Hughes: July 5th? Isn't that your birthday? Jesse: Yeah, how about that for a present.

Isabel: Well, what are we going to do? Max: I guess we're gonna have to find another planet to hide out on. Isabel: But I like this planet. Micheal: Me too. Where else are you going to find another planet that has Whoppers and Big Mac? Isabel and Max: Shut up.

Brody Davis: There's just so much in my head right now. I can't figure out who I am anymore. Maria: You're Brody Davis. You're smart, you're funny, you're sensitive and you'd actually make a damn good boyfriend for someone. Brody Davis: I sound pretty good.

Valenti: Address book. Evans. Evans. Guerin. Not a wide circle of friends. Max: Tess never had anyone but Nasedo. Valenti: And you three. Max: Isabel was the only one she was really ever close to. Valenti: What about you? Max: It was... it was too complicated. Valenti: She wanted to jump your bones, huh? Max: Something like that. Valenti: Screws things up every time. Max: Happen to you? Valenti: Yeah. In my dreams.

Liz: OK, I'm still confused. If you crash-landed in 1947, are you really 16 or are you like 52 in a 16-year-old's body? Or do you guys just age differently? I mean, is like 1 alien year equal to 3 human years? Max: You've thought about this a lot, haven't you? Liz: Kind of.

Max: So you're still not going to the wedding. Mrs Evans: She's making the biggest mistake of her life Max. I can't stand there with a smile on my face and pretend to be happy about it. Max: You don't and you'll lose her. You and I... We're having problems, and I don't know what to do about that right now. But I hope that eventually, we'll work it out. But you miss your own daughter's wedding and I don't think you'll ever work that out.

Max: What did he see? Isabel: Everything. Max: That could be a problem.

Kyle: Look I got a college girls phone number, I'm way ahead of the game. And you got to know when to hold them, and... Isabel: When to fold them. Kyle: And when to walk away. Both: (sing-song) And know when to run.

(about Micheal) Maria: You should have seen him standing there all brave and noble. It was enough to make you fall in love with him all over again. Max: Yeah, well, I have to live with him, that's enough.

Alex: Ok, all right. You are going to tell me exactly what has been going on with Max and Topolsky and the actual FBI or I swear, Liz, this is the end of you and me being friends. Liz: No Alex, don't say things... Alex: What? Something that I won't go through with? Liz, I'm not kidding. All right? Now either you tell me the truth, or I walk. Liz: Alex, I can't.

Maria: Mom, don't worry. I gave Liz a coded message. Any minute now 50 cops will be busting down that door and getting us all out of here. Amy DeLuca: What coded message? Maria: The Galaxy Sub with Pepper Jack, it's what Brody always orders. Amy DeLuca: And? Maria: Liz is my best friend, we have our own language. She'll understand. Trust me. (At the Crashdown Cafe) Liz: Galaxy Sub with Pepper Jack. Does that mean anything to you?

Tess: Thanks... Dad. (Jim looks at her questioningly) I just wanted to see what that sounded like. Valenti: How'd it sound? Tess: A little too weird.

Maria: I think we just took a huge step in human-alien relations. I love you Michael. Micheal: I love you too... but I have to leave. Max, Isabel, and Tess and I are going home. Maria: Yeah, I know. Like eventually, right? Micheal: We're leaving in a few hours. We have to, I have no choice. I don't want to leave you. But we both knew someday this would happen. Maria: How much time do we have? Micheal: About an hour.

(In the episode Viva Las Vegas) Michael: These are your aliases. You will use these aliases for the duration of our trip. Sound off. Kyle: Harvey Wallbanger Tess: PiÒa Colada Alex: Tom Collins Isabel: Brandy Alexander Maria: Margarita Salt Liz: Shirley Temple Max: Rob Roy Michael: And I'm your host Dr Love

Maria: Girlfriend. Like, I know that we bonded over the summer, but I'm not quite ready to show you the bod just yet. Max: No. I was just wondering if you'd heard from Liz yet. Maria: Not since you asked me an hour ago. No. Max: I heard you on the phone with her. Maria: Max, little advice. The girl goes off to some aunt in Florida for the entire summer and barely says good-bye to you. In layman's terms, she blew you off big time. I mean, and look at you. Look, you're like a groveling dog. (in a whiny voice) Have you heard from Liz today? Did Liz call? (end whiny voice) No. That's no good. Look, you've gotta play it cool, all right? Let her come to you.

Maria: Max, little advice. The girl goes off to some aunt in Florida for the entire summer and barely says good-bye to you. In layman's terms, she blew you off big time. I mean, and look at you. Look, you're like a groveling dog. (in a whiny voice) Have you heard from Liz today? Did Liz call? (end whiny voice) No. That's no good. Look, you've gotta play it cool, all right? Let her come to you. Max: Let her come to me. Maria: That's what I'd do. Max: Wait. Didn't you just tell me that you left like 5 messages for Michael in the past 2 days? Maria: What's your point?

Isabel: What if I said I wanted to stay? Max: When we came out of the pods and we lost Michael, it was just the two of us in the desert and I knew that I wasn't alone - that I had my sister. To me, earth isn't home and whatever's out there isn't home but you're my home.

Tess: You okay? Kyle: Oh yeah, yeah. It's nothing. Anyway, I just, I don't usually talk about this but uh, my mom left when I was six, and with you being here it's, uh felt like family again. That's all, I don't want to get all weepy or anything. Tess: Kyle... Kyle I feel the same way.

Micheal: No, I'm not safe. All right, I mean, I can do these things that I can't control. Look at what I did to Pierce. I'm not going to take that chance with you. I don't want you to be around for what's going to happen. Maria: Wait. Don't do this to me Michael, please. You need me now, more than you have before, alright? Micheal: No, I don't need anyone. Maria: Well, maybe I do. Did you ever think of that? I mean, look at Max and Liz. They can't bear to be separated. But you, you can just throw me away. Just like that. Why is that, Michael? Why? Micheal: Maybe because I love you too much. Goodbye.

Tess: I knew you wouldn't leave us. Nasedo: You're not ready to be left alone.

Nasedo: Set off those orbs, and you have no idea who you may be leading straight to us. Max: You don't know, do you? You don't know how to use the orbs. If you knew, you would've already used them. You're here to protect us, but not to lead us, you said it yourself. But if you're not the leader, who is?

Max: Look, everything I told you before is still true. Liz: Max, you do have a destiny. You just heard it. I can't stand in the way of it. Max: But you mean everything to me. Liz: Goodbye, Max.

Valenti: You ok? Kyle: Yeah. I just... I'm just not looking forward to dealing with all the little green men again. Valenti: Well, listen, maybe you should... maybe you should cut 'em a little slack, Kyle. I mean, after all, Max Evans did save your life. Kyle: Damn human of him. Of course, he is the reason I got shot in the first place, but what the hell. No conditions are permanent. No conditions are reliable. Nothing is self.

Max: Abduction? Brody Davis: Yeah, I know. I hate the word, too. I mean, you can tell people you've seen the Virgin Mary and they'll light candles outside your bathroom, but you tell 'em you've been abducted by aliens and they'll write you off as a lunatic. It happened to me 7 years ago. I was driving my car down the Massachusetts Turnpike, and before you know it, I'm in the room and they're doing... something to me, and then I'm back in my car and 2 days have gone by, and I'm in West Virginia. I would have written the entire thing off as an acid flashback. Then my doctor told me the cancer was gone. It was bone marrow. Terminal. A year to live and poof... it's gone. Max: And you're trying to re-establish contact with the aliens? Brody Davis: I have to.

Kyle: You know my... my father does consider this to be a very temporary arrangement. You understand that? Tess: Sure. Kyle: All right. So in that case, I just wanted to tell you that I moved all my crap out of the room. You can have it. I'll sleep on the couch or something. Tess: You didn't have to. Kyle: It's not a big deal. Uh, material possessions only clutter the mind anyway. Tess: You tell 'em, Buddha boy

Alex: I did a striptease in front of her mother. Are you listening to me? Maria: One nipple does not constitute a striptease, Alex. Alex: She saw my nipple? Oh, God.

Max: Aren't you going to read me my rights? Valenti: Do you have any?

Kal Langley: Think of all the loved ones you almost left behind. Your sister, girlfriend, your mother who feels like she's already lost you... Max: How do you know about them? Kal Langley: It's my job. Go home Max, don't come back. Word of advice, the more you embrace your alien side, the more you're going to lose.

Micheal: I didn't just wander in, all right? I had a cover story. Max: And what was your cover story? Micheal: I was selling candies for charity. Peanut cluster? Max: And they bought it? Micheal: No, they all seemed to be on a diet.

Liz: Ok, so what you're saying is that you saved me from a life of watching Kyle barf. Max: Liz Parker... I don't think that was ever gonna be your destiny. Liz: No? Max: No. Liz: Ok. Fine. If you know so much, then tell me, Max - - what's my destiny? Max: I only know the part I'm hoping for.

Maria: So how does electricity work? Kyle: Why are you lookin' at me? We were both in the same remedial science class for 3 years.

Liz: Have you ever had a moment when you're with the one person in the world you want to be with and the wind is blowing through your hair and the song that just describes your entire soul happens to come on, and then the person that you want to be with happens to love the same song and suddenly you realize you're listening to it together? And that no matter how crazy your life has gotten there's this one moment... this perfect moment... where you could just say that no matter what happens, nothing can take this moment away from me... And then, something does.

Liz: Did Max ask you to do that? Micheal: What? Liz: The whole being nice thing. Micheal: No. I came up with it myself. Liz: I like it.

Max: Maybe I don't really know what it's like for you. Micheal: The thing I've realized is the fact that my life basically sucks is a good thing. It's easier. We always have to be able to leave, pack a suitcase, go somewhere else. Maybe 10 years from now, maybe a week from now, maybe tomorrow. So my advice? Don't get in too deep, Maximillian. It only makes us weaker.

Isabel: My mother does stupid things too. Maria: She does? Isabel: Don't all mothers? Maria: Yeah, I guess. Does she know? Isabel: That she does stupid things? Maria: No that, uh, you and Max are, like, you know, different. Isabel: You mean horrible disgusting creatures from outer space who sneak into your room at night and perform excruciating experiments?

Amy DeLuca: Do you know what these are, Liz? Liz: Long johns? Amy DeLuca: Maria's long johns. Why would Maria leave her long johns and all of her other winter gear at home if she went camping in the middle of February? Here's a theory from someone who's had several hours to muse on it. She didn't go camping. She lied to her mother, just like she lied to me the other four times she took off for days on end, each time leaving out on the open road another piece of her innocence, and my Jetta. Liz, I consider you a friend... and an extended member of this family, and I value the friendship you have with my daughter very much. But if you don't tell me everything you know about where the hell she is, I'm gonna become very violent with you. Liz: Mrs Deluca, she's fine. She's with Michael.

Liz: Oh my God Maria that's them. Cut a U-ie. Maria: Cut a U-ie? Liz: Maria. Maria: Who are you?

Isabel: I thought you just said we can't trust her. Max: Who said anything about trusting her?

Max: What does he really look like? Tess: He's never let me see. Never lets me close to him at all. Max: He's all you've ever had? Tess: Yeah. Max: That must have been hard. Tess: It's been really lonely. He doesn't have a human side at all

Isabel: Alex, you have no idea what's going on. Alex: Does Michael love you? Isabel: It's not that simple. Alex: It should be.

Max: If I can have everyone's attention, please. I'm Max Evans, the bestman. Isabel and I, uh, well, I'm sure you all know the story, how they found us. Little kids wandering around in the desert. No one knew where we came from, or where we belonged. We didn't know anything either, who are parents were, how we got there. All we had was each other. Two people took us in, gave us names, made us part of their family, something I'll always - will always - be grateful for. Growing up I was always - I always felt very protective over my baby sister. Always tried to look out for her (laughs) . I guess... what I've come to realize is that she doesn't need me anymore to protect her, she's too strong for that. So, uh, (holds up his champagne glass) to Jesse. Welcome to the family. I think you'll find it's going to be an interesting experience. And to Isabel, I love you. I trust you. And I wish you all the happiness in the world. To Jesse and Isabel.

Max: Michael. The idea that Alex might have died just because we're here... I can't bear it. All those times you would run off chasing some clue to find out where we come from. Why we're here. Where we belong. I always thought you were chasing something that wasn't out there, because in my heart, I believed that we belonged here, you know? That we were human. Lately, I've been thinking that you might have been right all along. Micheal: Lately, I've been thinking I might have been wrong all along.

Micheal: Sit down. We've been through some rough stuff lately. The thing is, you're right. I can't really imagine it happening, but I am gonna leave someday. It could be a year, or two, or fifty. But I'm gonna leave. It sucks. It's the choice we made to be together. But there is one thing that I can promise you, and that is that I can give you now.

Alex: Don't you think I've known that from the start? That if I decided to go forward with this that things might get weird. Look, you said that you were ready for a relationship. Whatever's going on now, I know that you meant it. I know that it was real. Isabel: It was. It was real. Alex: I'll be here when you need me.

Micheal: What about this destiny thing? I mean are we still meant to pair up? You and Tess, me and Isabel? Max: That's our choice. Michael. Micheal: I saw the book, Max, I'm not sure we have much to say about it. Max: We control our own lives. I won't let any book tell me what to do.

Max: We've got to find out where they are. Alex: How are we going to do that? Max: We've got to go to Valenti. Micheal: And tell him what? There's two Maxes. The good one's right here, but please help us catch his evil twin.

Max: Since when? Weren't you the one who went off with Topolski by yourself? Liz's life is in danger, and suddenly we've got rules. Micheal: No, there's always been rules: Tell no one. You're the one who broke that. You're not going to do that again.

Max: It's not about the four of us right now, it's about Liz. Tess: Liz is human. She has nothing to do with us.

Nasedo: Michael, if you want to survive, if you want to get back home, you've got to be willing to fight for that. You understand? Micheal: You're not who I thought you'd be. Nasedo: Neither are you.

Agent Daniel Pierce: (pointing to a guy with a scalpel) This man will hurt you. (Pointing to a guy with a large green syringe) Agent Daniel Pierce: This man will help you. Tell me what I need to know, and he will take the pain away. Max: Who's inhuman now? Agent Daniel Pierce: Open him up.

Max: If we run, then he'll just keep hunting us and there's no coming back. Are you willing to never see home again? Any of you? Then we have to fight. Alex: Fight the most elite unit in the FBI. Isabel: Who now knows who we are and everything about us. Max: Pierce does know who we are. But we also know who he is, and we're stronger than he thinks. We may be even stronger than we think.

Agent Daniel Pierce: If you're here to kill me, Sheriff, it won't do any good. There'll be a new man in charge of the unit in twenty-four hours. Valenti: If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead already. Agent Daniel Pierce: Then why are you here? Valenti: Because I'm scared. For myself, for my son, for all of us. Agent Daniel Pierce: You didn't seem scared last night when you put a bullet six inches from my heart. Valenti: There were things I didn't know last night. Things that change everything.

Liz: I really need your help. I know something's wrong. I know what they're saying about you isn't true. But I don't know where to go from here. I really wish you could - give me some advice, point my in a direction. (Liz scans the room with her eyes and they fall upon Alex's desk. She goes over and picks up his book, The Poetry of Robert Frost book. She opens it to a page marked with tickets) Liz: (reading the book) The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep. (Liz looks at the tickets-concert tickets to Beth Orton) Liz: (whispers loudly) Thank You

Tess: I want to start planning our future. I just wonder if that future is gonna be in Roswell. Max: You want to go somewhere else? Tess: I always thought the ultimate plan was to go home. Our real home. Max: It is. Someday. But we don't know when that's gonna be. I think we had enough to deal with the in here and now. Don't you?

Micheal: No. The bottom line Maxwell, I kill people. I kill people, you heal them. (Maria walks over) You're good, and I'm bad. Max: It's not true, Michael. Micheal: Just get out of here. Maria: What are you talking about? Micheal: It's not safe. Maria: It's never been safe. What difference does it make now?

Micheal: I guess the interview went well. Valenti: Piece of cake. Micheal: Drop my name? Valenti: I really didn't have to, Michael. She seemed pretty impressed with my resume, you know, being the sheriff and all.

Maria: I have no where else to go. Micheal: (turns to her) You've got plenty of other friends. Maria: Like who? Liz? I've tried to talk to her, she hasn't been around. Micheal: Do you even know what's going on with her? Maria: Yeah, she's pissy and preoccupied and doesn't return my phone calls. Micheal: She might be dying, Maria. Maria: What?

Liz: What have you been doing? Kyle: It's called working for the man. Liz: In a sewer? Kyle: Close.

Tess: It's ok, you know? You have the right to protect your family. Kyle: You're part of the family I was trying to protect. As far as I can see, you're the only good thing about having an alien in my life. Tess: Kyle? Kyle: What? Tess: You're definitely my favorite human. Kyle: Yeah, well... you're my favorite Martian.

Micheal: Listen, if Hank insulted you or anything... Liz: Oh no, no. Micheal: You kind of have to ignore him. Liz: Sorry... to just show up here. Micheal: It's where I live. Thanks.

Micheal: Why are you so scared to be alien? Max: Why are you so scared to be human?

Max: I think we need to talk. Alex: About what? Max: About what you did for me at the hospital. Alex: Yeah, what... was that? I'd like to know. Max: You saved my life. Alex: Yeah, well, you screwed up mine.

Liz: Ok, this is my favorite part. It says, "this is the best night of your life." Max: Is that really what it says? Liz: Well, it's better than "a broken clock is still right twice a day." Max: You're right. I like yours better. Liz: Ok, let me see yours. Max: "Ask a girl to dance with you." Liz: Is that really what it says? Max: It depends on your answer. Liz: Yes. Max: Then that's really what it says. Liz: Ok.

Isabel: It is all about trust Max. God, do you really think that I would marry someone that I didn't even know? Someone who might be secretly working for the FBI or even (gasps) an alien. Don't you think that I have walked through is dreams a few times? And that maybe I checked on his alien status A LONG TIME AGO. God, Max. The irony here is that I trusted you. I trusted you to stand up at my wedding with my whole family there. I trusted you to be there for me. And you weren't.

Isabel: Alex, you have to stop. We can't show weakness. Alex: What, you think I'm being weak because I don't want anything bad to happen to you? I mean, to us? To all of us? Isabel: You really do want to protect me, don't you? Alex: I'd do anything. Isabel: Nobody's ever said that to me before. I mean, except for Max and Michael, but they're my brothers, so... Alex: Isabel, I meant what I said... about having somebody. I mean... everything gets easier once you're not alone.

Max: You keep telling me how lucky I am... to have a great home, great parents. But in one way, it's harder for me, because when I screw up, I have no excuses. But you, you can do and say anything you want because you have Hank, and you can blame it on that. But what happens without him? It'll all be on you, that's what. Micheal: Well, leave it up to me to still screw it up, huh? Max: It's ok, Michael, because if you do, we'll all still be there for you. Maybe you have to start thinking about someone other than yourself, Michael. The 3 of us belong together. There's a reason that we're together. We're family. So, go if you want to, but no matter where or how far, we will always be connected. Isabel and I wanted you to have this. It means nothing without you. Micheal: See ya.

River Dog: You're afraid... not of the healing. Your fear runs deeper. You fear for someone else, someone you care for a great deal. Take a step back. You cannot stop the flow. Liz: I'm sorry.

Liz: Oh, it's that obvious? Great. Great. Hey, listen... let me ask you guys a question. As women, do you find that all men are obsessive? Amy DeLuca: Yes. Liz: Absolutely. Maria: No question.

Liz: You know, you need a better name. Alex: Oh, come on. What's wrong with "the Whits"? Maria: Just an "s" away from what you really are.

Alex: Look, I don't get it. Why would he go and do this after we all agreed? Isabel: Because he's Michael. Max: That's no excuse this time.

Max: It's about Tess, Isabel's friend. I'm having these daydreams about her. Micheal: Daydreams? Max: Yeah, where we're together... you know, together. Micheal: I guess you're only human after all, huh?

Max: We're not open yet, Sheriff. Valenti: I think I know how you feel now. Max: What do you mean? Valenti: Not having anyone to talk to. Something tearing you up inside. Not being able to get it off your chest. Max: Is that what you need to do, Sheriff?

Tess: Max. My car broke down. Can you believe it? Max: No. Tess: No? Max: No, I don't believe it. Tess: What are you talking about? Max: You planned this

Micheal: I've been thinking. Maria: Oh, great this usually involves me having to get my car towed.

Isabel: Alex and I are together now. Micheal: Maria and I are going steady. Isabel: Great. Micheal: Great. Maria: Must be something in the water.

Liz: When you healed me you risked all of this getting out didn't you? Max: Yeah Liz: Why? Max: It was you

Isabel: They can't. They can't just fire a Sheriff. Kyle: They can if they're the city council. In the past year, my dad and I have been put through an amazing amount of your crap. You and your Martian friends move in, take over, and obliterate any shred of normalcy. Our lives are no longer ours. Promise me you're gonna stay away from my family. Promise me this is the last time we have to put ourselves on the line for you. Max: I can't.

Liz: Oh, my God. Alex: Yeah, the northern lights. I can't describe it. Basically what it is is you're looking up there, and you're actually seeing electrons from the sun colliding with our atmosphere in every color you could possibly imagine. Really makes you realize what a big world is out there. All these... all these possibilities. All these... new experiences. Life. It's all just there... waiting for us. You really gotta travel, Liz. It's the most amazing thing. Liz: Yeah. someday. Alex: Right. When there's not so much goin' on.

Alex: You know, I gotta say, objectively speaking, you are incredibly beautiful this evening. Isabel: You don't have to say that. Alex: I know I don't.

Liz: The thing about Czechoslovakians that you sorta have to factor in, is they have these incredibly soulful eyes

Liz: Part of me wants safety, wants to go back to how things were, to a life that I could predict, where I know how life is going to be. And the other part of me wants to go somewhere else, into the unknown.

Liz: The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn't be, places that are as scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring, and sometimes your heart takes you to places that can never lead to a happy ending. And that's not even the difficult part. The difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal, you go into the unknown. And once you do, you can never go back.

Liz: It's funny how the world changes sometimes, how the streets you walked your entire life seem darker, colder. How the silence isn't so quiet anymore. How eyes you've barely even noticed now look at nothing but you. How the walk home every night is no longer routine, but a victory. And then you begin to wonder... maybe it's not the world that's changed. Maybe it's just you. And then, suddenly... you begin to wonder all over again

Liz: There are days when everything seems wrong, when little things just irk you for no good reason. And then there are days like today when the whole world just sings to you from the minute you open your eyes in the morning, till the minute you shut them again at night, days when you actually enjoy cleaning the milk shake machine.

Liz: I guess everyone has their reasons for keeping people away, an instinct to protect yourself from getting hurt. It's part of human nature. I just wish Max would understand that... that he would realize that he's not that different from us at all. Maybe then we'd have a chance.

Nicholas Crawford: Max. Nice to see your genocidal girlfriend again. Killed anyone today? Tess: Day's not over. Nicholas Crawford: What a charmer.

Isabel: So in the end, what made you decide not to take the deal? Max: I was going to. I was gonna take the chance that... that Nicholas was telling the truth. But in the end, I realized that... that any deal which meant leaving you and Michael behind... was something I couldn't do. You're my sister, Isabel. Isabel, Vilandra... whatever your name is, it doesn't matter to me. You're my sister, and I love you... and that comes first. Always. Isabel: Thank you.

Kyle: Some pal Judge Lewis turned out to be. Valenti: He doesn't know what we know. Kyle: I know, but it pisses me off that we can't tell him the truth. Valenti: Well, as you kids say, it sucks big.

Valenti: So, why the hell are you poking around a closed crime scene? Micheal: If I don't look after us, who will?

Max: Everyone we touch gets hurt in some way or another. 5 years from now, I don't want you to open your eyes and realize that... that you missed out. You're part of the group. You always will be. But you need to be allowed to... to grow. Liz: Why can't you come with me? Max: Because I can't. But I'll be watching you, Liz Parker. Wherever you go... and I'll be here when you get back.

Max: Well I guess the natural place to start is... that I'm an alien... a hybrid actually. You know, human DNA mixed up with alien DNA... that kind of thing. Oh, I almost forgot, my sister Isabel and our friend Michael are also a little green around the gills.

Max: No rock stands a chance against Michael Guerin. Michael: Our fearless leader.

Michael: You're our leader. Why don't you lead us? Max: Fine! Crack some more rocks.

Liz: I'm not a dork, I just enjoy science.

Maria: So, I hear ex-cons are really great in bed.

Liz: I'm so confused. Alex: I'm so depressed. Maria: Wimps.

Madame Vivian: This boy... very volatile. Maria: That's good for sex, right?

Michael: She went out the window... I tried chasing her... Maria: But it's hard to run with your pants around your ankles?

Maria: Oh please! Do your lips ever get chapped from all the ass-kissing?

Maria: Ok, we've got ginko, bee pollen, echinacea, C, D, E, calcium, St.John's wort , and pamprin... What? I was dating Michael Guerin.

Max: What are you running from? Isabel: I'm just getting into shape. Max: Since when? Your only exercise used to be the escalator at the mall.

Alex: Ladies, uh... frosty beverage? Lonnie: No three ways tonight, opie, maybe later.

Lonnie: You two done the deed yet? Made the beast with two backs? You are in for a treat. Rath: Alien sex, baby. Accept no limitations.

Maria: What are you doing here? Isabel: I just thought we should talk, and since we can't seem to do it when we're awake, I thought I'd visit you in your dreams. Maria: What do you mean visit me? Isabel: I'm not really a part of your dream. I can't change it or anything. I just wanted to see what you were thinking. (Isabel notices Michael sitting at a table, dressed in a tuxedo.) Interesting. Maria: When he's dressed like that, it makes me feel much less afraid. Isabel: Afraid of what?

Micheal: So what do you mean she was nervous? Liz: I don't know. She was just, she was like nervous. Max: Nervous, like, just overexcited nervous? Micheal: Or nervous, she's gonna crack, nervous.

Liz: Max, I'm so sorry. I should never have even told Maria in the first place. Max: Well you did it 'cause you trusted her, and you needed someone to talk to. It was only natural. Liz: So why did you tell me? Max: It was only natural.

Liz: What did you mean the other day about that thing, about the tree? Max: Just somebody's advice. Not to get stuck behind them. Liz: Oh. Well did you take it? That advice? Max: I think I just did.

Maria: You guys didn't go... beyond? Liz: No, no, no. Maria: Gonna say... you were only out for 5 minutes. Liz: I know. Listen, Maria, if I... when... when... when I actually do it, it is not gonna be in between a plate of Kielbasa and a deep fryer. Maria: Hmm. Liz: I saw things, Maria. Did you see things when you and Michael kissed? Maria: What exactly did you see? Liz: Stars.

Max: Did anything like that ever happen to Maria when you two... Michael: No. Maxwell, let me assure you, you have not experienced anything I have not experienced many times or caused to be experienced. Max: Then how can you call yourself my friend? Michael: What? Max: A friend wouldn't have kept something like that to himself.

Isabel: Don't you realize it's only a matter of time before they find us an turn us over to some government agency, where they'll test us and prod us and oh, yeah, exterminate us!

Isabel: After all the pain we've caused... I just... I just wanted what we are, what I am, to do something good for a change.

Jesse: (Isabel is shot) Oh, my God. Have you called an ambulance? Michael: No, no, no, no, no! Jesse: Well, what's wrong with you? Michael: Hey, no ambulance, no hospital. Jesse: She'll die, you idiot! (Jesse punches Michael in the face) What the hell is wrong with you? Michael: Hey, you can't take her to the hospital, you can't! Jesse: Why? Tell me why. Michael: Because your wife isn't human. Okay? Understand that? Your wife is not human. Jesse: Stop the crap! Valenti: Ramirez! Look. (Electricity is sparking all over Isabel's hand) It's true, Jesse. I know you don't wanna accept it, but it's true. She's not human. Jesse: What? Michael: She's alien. We both are.

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