Rolling Kansas
2003
Kevin Haub: You girls are pretty. (pause) I'm gay though...
Kevin Haub: Weedworm. How cool.
Agent Madsen, Trooper: We're gonna cut the head off the Dope Snake. And watch it writhe around - in its own feces, blood and mucus. Dragging its entrails. Making concentric circles in the sand - before it expires.
Dave Murphy: Aw man, that garbage can was full of loaded diapers. Kevin Haub: Baby's are cute, though. Dave Murphy: (pause) Yeah they are.
Dick Murphy: Hey, I'm sorry about that garbage can. This car's weird.
Satin: What about you? What's your story? Kevin Haub: I'm gay. Satin: (uncomfortable silence) You think you're gay? Kevin Haub: I think I'm gay. I think I like dudes. This old farmer guy asked me if I liked boys. You know it got me to thinking. Blush: Anyone else in the car think they're gay? Dinkadoo Murphy, Hunter Bullette, Dave Murphy, Dick Murphy: No. Dinkadoo Murphy: Kevin, wh-what do you mean you think you're gay? Kevin Haub: I do. I think I like dudes.
Honey: So, what are you guys doing in Kansas? Dave Murphy: World's (pause) largest corn silo. Honey: Really? It's here in Kansas? Dave Murphy: Oh yeah. We're gonna bungie that big fucker.
Angry Motorcycle Cop: You say you're not poaching endangered water fowl. But Jesus Christ, look at all these dead ducks! Also, your vehicle is horrible. I see this car on the road again, I'll cite ya. Dick Murphy: (stutters) I-We-we-ah. The ducks hit *us*!
Dinkadoo Murphy: That goat doesn't look right... Dick Murphy: I hate goats. They're weird.
Dinkadoo Murphy: (startled) Our weed is packed with trunk!
Dick Murphy: Look, it's an old guy, in a tree.