Road to Morocco
1942
(Seeing the desert for the first time) Turkey Jackson: This must be the place where they empty all the old hourglasses.
Male Camel: This is the screwiest picture I was ever in.
Turkey Jackson: I hope she didn't hear that. The dead have a way of coming back you know. Jeff Peters: Get out, when they're dead they're dead. Turkey Jackson: Not Aunt Lucy, she was a Republican.
Jeff Peters: We must storm the place. Orville 'Turkey' Jackson/Aunt Lucy: You storm. I'll stay here and drizzle.
Female Camel: Sometimes, when I see how silly people behave, I'm glad I'm a camel. Male Camel: (his eyes rolling suggestively) Aww... I'm glad you're a camel too, Mabel.
Turkey Jackson: Aunt Lucy. I can see her now, lying on her dying bed, looking at you with those big, trusting eyes. 'Before I go, Jeff, promise me one thing,' she said. 'Promise me you'll always be a friend to little Orville,' she said. 'No matter what happens, you'll never leave the little jerk,' she said. 'Promise me, Jeff, promise me,' she said. Jeff Peters: Yeah, then she up and died before I had the chance to say no.
Turkey Jackson: We're going to get married on, uh, when is the big day, Dream Thing? Princess Shalmar: When the moon, in it's last quarter, silvers the blossoms of the almond tree. That's Tuesday night, about nine.
Turkey Jackson: A fine thing. First you sell me for two hundred bucks. Then I'm gonna marry the Princess, then you cut in on me. Then we're carried off by a desert sheik. Now, we're gonna have out heads chopped off. Jeff Peters: I know all that. Turkey Jackson: Yeah, but the people who came in the middle of the picture don't. Jeff Peters: You mean they missed my song?
Turkey Jackson: I can't go on! No food, no water. It's all my fault. We're done for! It's got me. I can't stand it! No food, nothing! No food, no water! No food! Jeff Peters: What's the matter with you, anyway? There's New York. We'll be picked up in a few minutes. Turkey Jackson: You had to open your big mouth and ruin the only good scene I got in the picture. I might have won the Academy Award!
Jeff Peters: Orville where are you? Turkey Jackson: Right over here, behind these goosebumps.
Jeff Peters: Turkey from now on you are sacred, you just became a full-blooded American idiot.
Turkey Jackson: How do you figure on paying for this? Jeff Peters: You've got red blood aint you? Turkey Jackson: Yeah but I don't want to get it all over a stranger. Jeff Peters: Go ahead, eat up son. Turkey Jackson: Those guys don't monkey around, they've got knives, they're liable to try and get the food back the hard way.
Turkey Jackson: You can't sell me, you don't own me. Jeff Peters: Not now - he does (pointing at Arabs) .
Hyder Khan: Do you know him? (Pointing at Crosby) . Turkey Jackson: Well I used to but I kinda outgrew him, I don't dally with riff-raff these days and he's a pretty riffy kind of raff.