Return to Me
2000
Megan Dayton: Grace has Bob's dead wife's heart!
Megan Dayton: "What do you expect most from a relationship? A: Companionship. B: Sex. C: Respect." I'd have to go with B: Sex. But let's mark "C" so we get a higher score...
Megan Dayton: You're going to get a heart, I *know*. And you'll be able to do all the things you never could before. That's what you've gotta concentrate on. Think of riding a bike, and going to Italy... and dating *really* handsome men. *That*, I know, has to happen for one of us. Grace Briggs: I'm getting a new heart, not a new ass.
Bob Rueland: (lying to avoid going out) Sorry, Charlie. I think it's something I ate, you know? I think I'm just going to stay home, take it easy. What am I doing right now? I'm watching the Cubs game. What's the score? (fumbles frantically for the remote, which doesn't work; gives up) Bob Rueland: Uh, the Cubs are losing.
Megan Dayton: Whatever you do, don't shave your legs. Grace Briggs: Why? Megan Dayton: Well, then you definitely won't let it go too far. Grace Briggs: Megan! It's a *first* date! Megan Dayton: Yeah, well, I married a first date, missy, and you know how it is. You're out with a guy, you find him attractive, and suddenly everything he says sounds brilliant. Hairy legs are your only link to reality. Grace Briggs: I think you should needle-point that on a pillow. Megan Dayton: Well, I just might! It kept me a virgin until... y'know, *whenever*.
Elizabeth Rueland: Over the years Sydney has become a part of the family. Here he is with my husband. My husband's the one on the right.
Marty: (to Angelo, who is singing Italian songs loudly in the kitchen) Will you go find yourself a gondola?
(Self-conscious about her heart transplant scars, Grace checks her appearance in a mirror) Angelo: Grace, come on, it's been over a year, you can hardly see it anymore. Grace Briggs: Nice try, Angelo. I just don't like all the questions, you know? Marty: You tell everybody you're just the luckiest girl in the world. Grace Briggs: I know, Grandpa, I know. Marty: You're beautiful, and no one's going to notice your chest. Grace Briggs: Thanks a lot.
Joe Dayton: (screaming at his family) Will everyone just calm down! For the love of God and all that is holy, calm the hell down!
Megan Dayton: I have never said hell you son of a bitch.
Charlie Johnson: ... How many times do I have to tell you? I don't want no brown bananas!
Bob Rueland: Would you go out with me? Grace Briggs: Yes? Bob Rueland: Is that a question? Grace Briggs: No, it's a yes. Yes. Bob Rueland: Tomorrow night? Grace Briggs: Yes. Bob Rueland: Eight o'clock? Grace Briggs: Yes. Bob Rueland: Pick you up here? Grace Briggs: Yes. Bob Rueland: My, you're a very difficult woman.
Grace Briggs: What was God thinking.
(Grace and Bob are on top of a building looking down at the city) Grace Briggs: Wow, this is incredible. We can see all this because we're standing on something you built. Bob Rueland: I had help.
Grace Briggs: So, I'm gonna tell him tonight. Megan Dayton: Oh, please, I've heard that before. Grace Briggs: No, I am. Megan Dayton: Well, you should because he's perfect you know. Grace Briggs: Yeah... for me he is.
(Joe is dancing in the kitchen with his shirt off) Joe Dayton: I'm a bad cowboy (Motions to Megan) Come on. Megan Dayton: No, no... our rhythm gets us in trouble.
Bob Rueland: Elizabeth and I were married by the time we were twenty and we'd been going out since we were fifteen so this may sound a bit juvenile but... can I hold your hand?
Grace Briggs: You see I had a heart... I had a heartwarming dream about you. Bob Rueland: God, it must have a been a nightmare. Grace Briggs: No, you were very... Bob Rueland: Scary? Grace Briggs: Sexy! Bob Rueland: You had a sex dream about me!
Tyler Dayton: And then we went to see the gorillas and Mommy said it was you. Megan Dayton: I did not. Joe Dayton: Oh, really? Did you go to see the elephants? Megan Dayton: Watch it Joe.
Charlie Johnson: Come on, let's go get a beer. Bob Rueland: No thanks. Charlie Johnson: Well, if not tonight, Friday night, because I have someone for you. Bob Rueland: No, Charlie, no. Charlie Johnson: Come on, she's smart, she has a great body, intelligent, great body... You gotta start going out! She's really great, her cat was a patient of mine! Bob Rueland: I'm a dog person.
Bob Rueland: I miss Elizabeth. Bob Rueland: I'll always miss her. Bob Rueland: But I ache for Grace.
Marty: This guy you're talking about, he can't sing at all. Angelo: He can't sing? Then why has he got such a big band? Wally Jatczak: To drown him out!
Joe Dayton: So, Charlie, what do you do? Charlie Johnson: I'm a vet. Joe Dayton: Oh. (beat) I didn't go to 'Nam.
Sophie: (to Bob) Oh, hi there. How did you get caught in their net? Wally Jatczak: Sophie, his wife is dead. Sophie: Oh! Welcome.
Marsha: (as Grace is bringing water to their table) Oh no-no-no-no-no! Do you have *bottled* water? Grace Briggs: Sure. Anybody else? Marsha: I don't want Swiss water. I got sick on an imported Swiss water. (to her friend) Do you remember that night? As long as it's not Swiss or tap water it will be fine, preferably French, no bubbles. I want it cold, no ice, no glass, just the bottle and a straw. Do you want to write it down? I don't want Swiss water, I got sick on an imported Swiss water once... Grace Briggs: I'm pretty sure I got it. Marsha: (later, as Grace is telling her the specials) That sounds so *fattening*. Is every dish here cooked in *oil*? Grace Briggs: No... some we boil in Swiss water.