Rehearsal for Murder

1982 (TV)

Ernie: Some of those junkies and winos from Broadway, they try to bed down in the lobby overnight. Alex: Encourage them, Ernie. The theater was meant for the common man.

David: Wonderful! Broadway's favorite actor gets pneumonia! Oh, well, after those notices, I suppose I could use a cold shower. (runs out with jacket over his head) Don't be depressed then, Alex! You've got worse things coming! Like marriage!

Alex: It's essential they stay here, all of them. If even one of them walks out, it won't work. Frank Heller: It may not work anyway. Alex: You still think this is a mistake, don't you? Frank Heller: Like I said before, Mr Dennison; this is your show. I'm just here to watch.

Karen: Who's that? Walter: Tweedledum and Tweedledee. Bumped into each other outside. Lloyd: The difference is that Walter came in a limo and I had to take a bus.

Walter: (referring to Alex) Ah, he's being mysterious. Well, it's the playwright's prerogative... and it's the producer's prerogative to have a sweet roll.

Karen: You're being obsequious, Leo. Leo: Okay, I'll stop if you tell me what it means.

Alex: Oh and by the way, it's something new for me; a mystery. Walter: Good. They do well. Alex: Unusual form, a mystery. You take the audience by the hand, and you lead them... in the wrong direction. They trust you, and you betray them! All in the name of surprise.

David: (Referring to the format of a mystery) All those characters are cardboard. I like... I like roles with flesh and blood! Alex: I don't know about the flesh, David. But I can guarantee you the blood.

Lloyd: What are you going for? What's the point of the scene? Alex: Well, the point, Lloyd, is that in a mystery, everyone must have a motive.

Walter: Alex, we've known each other for a long time, so I'm entitled to be blunt. Why are we here? Alex: You know why, Walter. To read my new play. Walter: It's not a play. It's just a bunch of unrelated scenes, all of them uncomfortably close to the truth. David: The hell they are!

Alex: Might as well get to the point. Well, it's really very simple. When we finish here, we'll know something we didn't know before. David: And what's that? Alex: Which one of you killed Monica Welles.

Walter: The woman killed herself! Do you understand? Whether you want to believe it or not, she was depressed, and she jumped out of her bedroom window! Alex: How can you be so certain, Walter? Were you there?!

Alex: Permit me my element of surprise, Lloyd. In a mystery, the audience should never know what's coming next.

Lloyd: He certainly raked you over the coals. Walter: Well, that makes two of us. David: Three. Leo: Great. Marvelous. Wonderful. (to Karen) We're next!

Alex: Surely you don't want to miss the ending.

Lloyd: Now I get it. Don't you see what he's doing? Leo: Now that you mention it... no.

Walter: Well, now what? Alex: Alibis, Walter. Walter: I was wondering when you would get around to that. Alex: I've established that you all had motives... David: Like hell we had. Alex: But motives are nullified by a legitimate alibi.

Walter: We all said a lot of things. None of them were true.

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