Red Planet
2000
Dr Quinn Burchenal: Uh oh - we're going to talk about God now, aren't we? 'Cause if we are, I'm going to need another pop. Chantilas: Not God... faith. Dr Quinn Burchenal: Faith? Oh, I had a girlfriend named Faith. She cheated on me, with a girl named Chastity.
Gallagher: Well, here it is: that time they told us about in high school when math would save our lives.
(Bowman has just stepped out of the shower naked, unaware that Gallagher is standing right there) Commander Kate Bowman: Could you, uh... pass me that towel?
(Commander Kate Bowman steps out of the shower not realizing Gallagher coming in) Commander Kate Bowman: Could you pass me the towel, please? Gallagher: Sure. Sorry. Commander Kate Bowman: Just pretend I'm your sister. Gallagher: (grins) I have two sisters. They don't look like you.
Gallagher: Fuck this planet!
Dr Quinn Burchenal: We just disappointed 10 billion people. Not counting the ex-wives.
Gallagher: I prefer one moon, you know? That way you know what to call it: The Moon.
Commander Kate Bowman: No joy on all scenarios for engine ignition. That includes hitting the console (hits the console) . What next? Over.
Commander Kate Bowman: How do you propose that I explain to Houston that two of my crew went blind drinking moonshine vodka? Gallagher: Very carefully? (Burchenal giggles) Commander Kate Bowman: So what, doesn't this establishment serve women?
(Urinating on the surface of Mars) Dr Quinn Burchenal: Whoa! You sure do get some high arc in this low gravity. Gallagher: You watching this, AMEE? We're taking the first piss on Mars.
(Upon being resuscitated) Gallagher: I saw Elvis.
Dr Quinn Burchenal: (looking at the destroyed habitat) Well, at least this thing has enough rocket fuel to keep us warm. Gallagher: (igniting the fuel with a lighter) Here comes a billion dollar campfire. At least it's good for something.
Gallagher: We walk 100 km. to a 30 year old Russian rock probe that failed to launch and try to jump start it. Gee, why couldn't you make it tough.
Dr Quinn Burchenal: What if-what if we just tell Huston that there is no life on Mars? Then we just take it for ourselves! We-no listen! We can rule! I can be the king, Gallagher can be the toilet fixer, Chantlis can be the Spiritual Adviser and Pettengail -... has passed out. Ok...
(Gallagher asks the symptoms of hypoxia) Dr Quinn Burchenal: Hypoxia? Dizzy. Skin'll tingle. Vision narrows. Then anoxia. Shock, convulsions, acidosis. Gallagher: Gonna hurt? Dr Quinn Burchenal: Yeah.
Dr Quinn Burchenal: Short time to live, long time to wait.
Gallagher: Well, thats about it. I hate this planet. I really miss Earth. I really miss a lot of things. I... I 'm gonna miss you. (pause) Gallagher: Aren't you gonna say anything?. (he stops for a second) Gallagher: I shoulda kissed you. Commander Kate Bowman: Yeah, you shoulda kissed me. Lucille: Com Frequency lost, Commander Gallagher: Bye...
Lucille: Launch Release System not responding. Commander Kate Bowman: That's not good. Lucille: No, it isn't.
Chip Pettengill: It's weird. There's nothing here. Gallagher: It's Mars.
Gallagher: We can breathe! Dr Quinn Burchenal: I don't know what the hell this is but I'll take it!
Dr Quinn Burchenal: A former rocket scientist who now specializes in making sandwiches. Terrific.
Gallagher: It's nice just to know you are still up there. Commander Kate Bowman: Yeah well, I don't mind dying, I just hate being alone so get your asses back here.
Dr Quinn Burchenal: (after a discussion of faith) Listen, let's forget about all the religious stuff for now. Now, I say, Commander Bowman, to hell with humanity. I say, we take it. We just take it over for ourselves! Gallagher: (sounding very serious) Call Earth, tell them it sucks, and don't bother coming? Dr Quinn Burchenal: (laughs) Yeah, whatever keeps the riffraffs out. Chantilas, you can to the religion thing. Gallagher, you can keep the space john working... Pettengail's... passed out, and I can do pretty much everything else. King. Commander Kate Bowman: What about me? (Team members give Bowman a look because it's totally obvious) Dr Quinn Burchenal: You'll be my queen. Propagation of the species. (Commander Bowman nods at him, and gets up and leaves) It was just a, just a joke, Commander Bowman. Chantilas: And on that note gentlemen, I suggest we all retire.
(Gallagher needs a new battery for the sample-return vehicle, and has just realized that the battery from the malfunctioning AMEE robot will work) Gallagher: Alternate high-voltage energy source... come and get me.