Reba (2001)
Barbra Jean: Aw, there's my Reba-Rooba-Roo! Reba: (cheerfully) Call me that again and I'll slap the blonde right off ya!
Cheyenne: Kyra, guess what Elisabeth's first word was. Kyra: Help?
Reba: Do you know what a teenager is? Barbra Jean: A demon?
Reba: Do you know what a teenager is? Barbra Jean: A demon... But I'm scared. Reba: Of course you're scared - you're living with a demon!
Barbra Jean: (to Kyra) You bring people together. You're like a little Reverend Al Sharpton.
Barbra Jean: Maybe next time I'll marry someone who's ex-wife appreciates me!
Reba: Kyra, what on Earth would make you wanna hit someone? Cheyenne: It's her way of showing affection. Kyra: Yeah, that's right. Now why don't you come over here for a little hug.
Reba: I know what Kyra is doing! Brock Hart: Like you did with Cheyenne? Reba: Oh, one time! The one time our daughter gets pregnant and I never hear the end of it!
(Cheyenne, 18, is planning her shotgun wedding) Cheyenne: Oh my gosh, honey, this is so much fun! We should have gotten married our junior year! Reba: No, sweetheart, you were right to wait.
Reba: (when Kyra is helping B.J. feel better after she and Brock seperate) You're a beautiful young woman. Kyra: Or maybe you just raised me right. And I watch a lot of "7th Heaven".
Reba: (when Kyra is helping cheer Barbra Jean up after she and Brock seperate) You are a beautiful young woman. Kyra: Or maybe you just raised me right. That and I watch a lot of "7th Heaven".
Electrician: (to Barbara Jean, about Reba) Wow, your mom's a real grouch. (Barbara Jean looks flattered) (pause) Barbra Jean: I know, right?
Reba: If Thanksgiving were a concert the turkey would be Cher.
Reba: Hey, Jake. What are you watching? Jake Hart: The Weather Channel. More rain for Brazil.
Reba: (when Van gets an injury involving his spine and tail bone) It's a mother-in-law's job to make the best of a bad situation. Van Montgomery: (sarcastically) I thought it was a mother-in-law's job to make butt-jokes about her son-in-law. Reba: We wear many hats.
(Reba is shocked by Barbera Jean's new Reba haircut) Barbra Jean: So, what do you think? Is it me? Reba: (furiously) No. It's me!
Reba: It's a mother-in-law's job to make the best out of a bad situation. Van Montgomery: (sarcastically) I thought it was a mother-in-law's job to make butt-jokes about her son-in-law. Reba: We wear many hats.
Van Montgomery: I broke my butt!
Barbra Jean: (in the hospital, after Cheyenne had a false labor, Barbra Jean sits down on a chair) Oh, my God! I think my water just broke! Reba: Oh no, you're sitting on my purse!
Reba: Jake Mitchell Hart are you lying to me? Jake Hart: Yes! No one mocks me and gets away with it! Reba: So, did that boy even go upstairs? Jake Hart: No! And I didn't no he was a boy, I thought he was an ugly girl! Reba: You are in big trouble! no tv, no dessert, and Grandma gets her cell phone back! (She takes the gameboy SP back and Jake runs upstairs)
Barbra Jean: Boop! You've got mail! (opens Kyra's laptop and makes poses) Reba: (to Brock) Boop! You've got a goof-ball!
Reba: You treat that animal like it can walk on water! Barbra Jean: What is "dog" spelled backwards reba? (conversation about why barbara jean's dog is missing goes on for another 2 minutes) Van Montgomery: GOD! it spells god.
Kyra: I thought you said Barbra Jean is where brain cells go when they die.
(Van is sleeping, drooling on his sheets. Reba comes in telling him to wake up) Van Montgomery: Awwww! I was dreaming about waffles!
Van Montgomery: I'll be with my friends, you'll be with yours. Then we'll hook up later. It'll be just like junior year! Except we're married, you're pregnant, and everything is different.
Reba: You want me to sign a permission form for bigamy?