Ready to Rumble
2000/I
Gordie Boggs: Buenos nachos! Sasha: I didn't know you spoke Spanish. Gordie Boggs: Yeah, I took it in high school... a bunch of times. Sasha: Are you fluent? Gordie Boggs: No, I feel fine.
Goldberg: Can you... say it now? Cashier: I'm your bitch and you're my daddy. Jimmy King: Rolled right off his tongue.
Gordie Boggs: I puke all the time, and I'm not a pussy.
Sasha: I'd love you to show me your awesome moves... Gordie Boggs: Are you sure? Sasha: I'm sure.
Jimmy King: What's she gonna do boob em to death?
Sean Dawkins: How's my hair look? Finesse? Gordie Boggs: Bro, you're driving a truck full of ass juice. I wouldn't worry about your hair.
Gordie Boggs: We're going back to basics. To find our heart. Sasha: Can I come? Gordie Boggs: No, because you don't have one.
Sean Dawkins: Hey Gordy? Gordie Boggs: Yea? Sean Dawkins: Why does it look like you have your finger in your butt? Gordie Boggs: Because I do... stupid.
Eugenia King: What are ya high? I haven't seen him in two years. All I've got to remember him by is an itchy crotch. You ever see crabs up close? Wanna see? Gordie Boggs: Fantastic!
Gordie Boggs: There's a lot of glare coming off that dome of yours, squirrel nuts! Cashier: Listen to me sunshine, I'm gonna open up a fresh can of whoop-ass on ya boy! Gordie Boggs: BRING IT ON!
Jimmy King: Give me the stuff or I'll crown ya! Gordie Boggs, Sean Dawkins: IT'S HIM! IT'S THE KING!
Sean Dawkins: I'll get the... um, um, um... the cheeseburger Maxi Meal. Gordie Boggs: ... and the Brittany bare-ass buffet!
Gordie Boggs: You telling me the King's a queen?
Jimmy King: I will rule you!
Goldberg: (Jimmy King was just asked if he intends to go for the tag-team championship) Jimmy, it looks like you need a tag-team partner. What do you say? Jimmy King: Bill, I appreciate it, really I do, but I think I already have me a tag-team partner around here somewhere. (Gordy and Sean enter the ring. Jimmy points at them.) That's him, that's my tag-team partner. That's Gordy Boggs a.k.a. *the law*! Gordie Boggs: (points finger at camera in a pose) (shouts) I will bust you! Jimmy King: And here's our new manager, Sean "Sugardaddy" Dawkins.
Mr Boggs: Woah! What the hell are these? Sean Dawkins: Those are my nuts. Mr Boggs: Wouldn't you like to be on the other side of this search? Sean Dawkins: You want me to grab your nuts?
Gordie Boggs: Hey kid! Move your fat head. I can't see the fight. Sean Dawkins: Sorry, Uncle Billy said these were good seats. Gordie Boggs: Uncle Billy sucks! Sean Dawkins: Hey, Uncle Billy lost his right nut in 'nam. Gordie Boggs: Well kick him in his left nut when you see him. These seats bite! Sean Dawkins: If you only have one left, is it still your left nut?
Sean Dawkins: We're gonna be there! We're going! Mrs MacKenzie: Get me a T-shirt... a really tight one... Gordie Boggs: That's gross, Mrs MacKenzie.
Mr Boggs: You gonna be a wrestler? You got trouble wrestlin' your wee-wee out of your trousers to take a leak! Gordie Boggs: It's not that I have trouble... just sometimes I don't see the point.
Gordie Boggs: What about Wendy? She digs you! Sean Dawkins: No... she's too much like one of the guys. Gordie Boggs: That's bad? Sean Dawkins: That's gay.
(both guys crying) Sean Dawkins: Damn allergies. Gordie Boggs: Yeah, me too. Damn stupid allergies. Sean Dawkins: Unfair, bogus allergies! Gordie Boggs: Unfair, cheating, blind ref, bogus Sinclair allergies! Sean Dawkins: Damn Dallas Page! Gordie Boggs: That's right, Sean! Let it out man! Sean Dawkins: Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
Sean Dawkins: All right, it's a little strange! But what are we supposed to do? Gordie Boggs: Exactly! Sean Dawkins: *What*?
Gordie Boggs: Uh... you're parents aren't dead anymore either...
Gordie Boggs: You guys better get out of here. My dad'll shoot you. He will.
Jimmy King: I just gave him a little flick! Sean Dawkins: Well, he's your friend, right? And you can't turn your back on a friend!... Right?
Mr Boggs: Just cause it's your dream doesn't make it right or noble or whatever! Charles Mason was following his dream! Joseph Stalin, Michael Bolton, you get the picture!
Sean Dawkins: That's my best friend in the whole world right there!... He's not really a cop though!
Jimmy King: I got three words for you, baby! Nine One One!
Sean Dawkins: Give us a "Rule You" please? C'mon! Gordie Boggs: No, no, no, wait, give us a "Be Gone!" Jimmy King: How bout this... GO GET MY DAMN BEER YOU FRIGGIN MORONS!
Jimmy King: Wakie Wakie, Hands off Snakey!
(Sal springs up from a trap door behind Perry Saturn and Sid Vicious) Sal Bandini: Sal Bandini! Wanna wrestle?
Sal Bandini: Don't let up until you hear cartilage snap, or they crap in their pants.
Sal Bandini: (to Jimmy King) Kickin' me was right. Checkin' to see if I was okay was wrong.
Sean Dawkins: Crown us. Crown us, c'mon. Gordie Boggs: Crown us! Sean Dawkins: Please crown us! Gordie Boggs: CROWN US! Jimmy King: Yeah! (Bashes Sean and Gordie's heads) Gordie Boggs: Aw, that was great, man! Jimmy King: Ya happy now? (Sean and Gordie sleep and snores)
Gordie Boggs: But, Dad, it's my dream! Mr Boggs: Well, your dream is stupid!