Quigley Down Under
1990
(Quigley has been beaten and left for dead in the Australian desert) Crazy Cora: Don't worry, on a new job it's quite common for things not to go well at first.
Matthew Quigley: Lady, you're about a half a bubble off plumb, and that's fer sure and fer certain.
(Lost in the Outback) Matthew Quigley: I don't know where we're goin', but there's no sense bein' late.
Crazy Cora: Things seem different here. They say God made Australia last, don't you know, after he got tired of making everything else the same. Matthew Quigley: Well, I seen some pretty country, that's for certain.
Elliott Marston: Ah ha. Legendary Sharps. Matthew Quigley: You know your weapons. It's a lever-action, breech loader. Usual barrel length's thirty inches. This one has an extra four. It's converted to use a special forty-five caliber, hundred and ten grain metal cartridge, with a five-hundred forty grain paper patch bullet. It's fitted with double set triggers, and a Vernier sight. It's marked up to twelve-hundred yards. This one shoots a mite further. Elliott Marston: An experimental weapon with experimental ammunition. Matthew Quigley: You could call it that. Elliott Marston: Let's experiment.
Matthew Quigley: I said I didn't have much use for one. Didn't say I didn't know how to use it.
Elliott Marston: (O'Flynn and Dobkin prepare Quigley for an old-fashioned duel) I seem to remember you're not too familiar with Colonel Colt's revolver, so this will be your first lesson. Don't worry. Mr Dobkin and Mr O'Flynn will ensure that it's a fair contest. Elliott Marston: (Marston starts walking backwards) I'll just back up a few paces... And to your left a bit, that's it... Now you're right in front of my old pistol target. Elliott Marston: (Marston slips his coat back to reveal his holster) Some men are born in the wrong century. I think I was born on the wrong continent. Oh, by the way, you're fired Matthew Quigley: This ain't Dodge City. And you ain't Bill Hickok. Matthew Quigley: (Quigley shoots Dobkin, O'Flynn and Marston before they can even aim their guns, then walks up to a dying Marston) I said I never had much use for one. Never said I didn't know how to use it.
Matthew Quigley: This ain't Dodge City. And you ain't Bill Hickok.
Elliott Marston: No man knocks me out of my own house.
Major Ashley-Pitt: In our experience, Americans are uncouth misfits who should be run out of their own barbaric country. Matthew Quigley: Well, Lieutenant... Major Ashley-Pitt: Major. Matthew Quigley: Major. We already run the misfits outta our country. We sent 'em back to England.
Crazy Cora: I remember once, my Granddaddy told me how, when you're lost in the desert, you should sleep during the day and walk at night. Matthew Quigley: Your Granddaddy tell you that? Did he also tell you we'll die, in the the desert, without those horses? Crazy Cora: Well, what good are horses, if we die, first? Matthew Quigley: Once in a while, she actually makes a little sense. Crazy Cora: What did you say, Roy? Matthew Quigley: Never mind.
Crazy Cora: You know, if we're lost, you can tell me. Matthew Quigley: We're lost. Crazy Cora: I can take bad news. Just tell me straight. Matthew Quigley: I don't know where the hell we are. Crazy Cora: No sense takin' time to make it sound better than it is. Matthew Quigley: I reckon we're goin' in circles. Crazy Cora: Wire things up and I'll see right through. So, just tell me honestly. Are we lost? Matthew Quigley: Nope. I know exactly where we are. Crazy Cora: That's good, 'cause, frankly, I was gettin' a little worried.
(Quigley approaches Hobb, who he's just shot through the spine) Hobb: My back's broke... Matthew Quigley: You're gut shot, Hobb. Ain't nothin' I can do for you. Hobb: Kill me... Matthew Quigley: Where's Marston's station, from here? How far's the nearest town? Hobb: Why should I tell you? Matthew Quigley: 'Cause if you don't, I'll let you live. Y'know, I'm new, here, so I'm kinda curious. D'you think the dingos'll get you first, or the ants? Hobb: Done leave me like this. Quigley. Marston's station's two days' ride southwest. Nikitanga's only twenty miles past the billabong... Matthew Quigley: Talk straight, goddammit, or I'll get the ants, myself. Hobb: It's a town. A day's ride past a dry riverbed. That way. Now, finish me. (Quigley hands Hobb a six-shooter. Hobb aims it at Quigley) Matthew Quigley: You got one shot left in that shooter. Make the most of it.
Crazy Cora: I don't want you to go. Matthew Quigley: You sure look pretty in that new blue dress. Crazy Cora: If you go after Marston, he'll kill you. Matthew Quigley: Kid, next time she talks like that, pee all over the dress.
Matthew Quigley: What's my name today? Crazy Cora: Matthew Quigley, same as any other day. Matthew Quigley: How's about you and me taking off all our clothes and go swimmin'? (they are in the middle of a desert) Crazy Cora: What are you crazy? There ain't no water (Quigley looks at her and smiles) Why *shame* on you! Matthew Quigley: Well you - Well, what about last night? You - Crazy Cora: I what? Matthew Quigley: Oh, never mind.
Crazy Cora: Anyone who believes in magic, is crazy.