Punch-Drunk Love

2002

Barry: I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine.

Barry: At that restaurant, I beat up the bathroom. I'm sorry.

Lena: Oh... I'm sorry... was that like a secret pudding?

Barry: Pudding...

Barry: Ummm, let's just... keep it between you and I, if that's possible. Lena: Sure, Sure...

(Barry looks around...) Barry: Healthy Choice and American Airlines got together and put this promotion: If you buy any 10 Healthy Choice products, they will reward you with 500 frequent flier miles; with this special coupon, they'll up it to 1,000 miles. So, I think they are trying to push their teriyaki chicken which is $1.79, but I went to the supermarket and I looked around and I saw that they had pudding... for 25¢ a cup... comes in packages of four. But insanely... the barcodes... are on the individual cups! So, quarter a cup, say you bought $2.50 worth. That's worth 500... with the coupon it's 1,000 miles. It's a marketing mistake but I'm taking advantage of it. If you were to spend $3,000, that would get you a million frequent flier miles. You would never have to pay for a ticket the rest of your life. Lena: You... you bought all that pudding so that you could get frequent flier miles?

Barry: I would say that's that, mattress man.

Barry: I know... yes... Lena: That's insane.

Barry: I'm guessing it was a mistake... but... I'm taking advantage of it while it's offered. Who knows how long it'll last... (once) too many people start doing it...

Barry: I'm lookin' at your face and I just wanna smash it. I just wanna fuckin' smash it with a sledgehammer and squeeze it. You're so pretty. Lena: I want to chew your face, and I want to scoop out your eyes and I want to eat them and chew them and suck on them. (pause) Barry: OK. This is funny. This is nice.

Barry: Teryaki chicken. Tery... aki chicken. Soup? Soup... soup... Chicken noodle... ? Cookies. Pudding. PUDDING!

Barry: This really looks like Hawaii.

Dean Trumbell: Shut up! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Shut up! Shut, shut, shut, shut, SHUT UP! Are you threatening me? Barry: Umm... yeah. Dean Trumbell: That wasn't good. You're dead.

Barry: Well bye-bye, then... you stupid mother fucker...

Barry: I didn't ask for a shrink - that must've been somebody else. Also, that pudding isn't mine. Also, I'm wearing this suit today because I had a very important meeting this morning and I don't have a crying problem.

Barry: Is this confidential?

Barry: I don't know if there is anything wrong because I don't know how other people are.

Barry: You can go to places in the world with pudding. That's funny.

Barry: (out of breath to his love Lena) Lena. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I left you at the hospital. I called a phone-sex line... I called a phone-sex line before I met you, and four blond brothers came after me and they hurt you, and I'm sorry. Then I had to leave again because I wanted to make sure you never got hurt again. And I have a lot of puddings, and in six to eight weeks it can be redeemed. So if you could just give me that much time, I think I can get enough mileage to go with you wherever you go if you have to travel for your work. Because I don't ever want to be anywhere without you. So could you just let me redeem the mileage?

Barry: I wanted to ask you something because you're a doctor... I don't like myself sometimes. Can you help me? Walter: Barry, I'm a dentist. What kind of help do you think I could give you?

Lena: People are just crazy in this world, I think.

Lance: The chair broke!

Anna: You strokin' yet?

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