Postal 2
2002 (VG)
The Postal Dude: Only my weapon understands me.
The Postal Dude: (Entering Lucky Ganesh All-American grocery store) Did somebody slaughter a goat in here? Seriously, I wanna know.
The Postal Guy: Buttsauce!
The Postal Dude: You probably thought you weren't goin' to die today? Surprise!
The Postal Dude: Guns don't kill people, I do!
The Postal Dude: I know what you're thinking, but the funny thing is, I don't even LIKE videogames...
The Postal Dude: Here I was, just enjoying my Second Amendment rights, and you people have to freak out on me!
The Postal Dude: The gene pool is stagnant and I am the minister of chlorine.
The Postal Dude: Hey I'm just trying to exercise my second-amendment rights here ya fuckin' Communist!
The Postal Dude: You probably think I'm not a nice person...
The Postal Dude: Please don't think I'm a bigot, I kill races equally...
The Postal Dude: I suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the women and minorities first.
The Postal Dude: (at the end of the game) Honey, you won't believe the day I've had! Postal Dude's Wife: Did you remember my Rocky Road? The Postal Dude: D'oh! (gunshot)
The Postal Dude: (after finding that it's the apocalypse in the newspaper) Hmm... Normally, I'd expect a fancy cinematic to explain a such crucial story element. The font is nice, though.
The Postal Dude: (shoots someone) That one's for your mother! (shoots another person) That one's for the Pope! (shoots another person) That one's for Bobo the space-monkey! (shoots someone else) That one's cause I have ammo left in my gun! (shoots last person, bells ring) That one's 'cause I can!
The Postal Dude: I was pretty hungover yesterday, but I think I remember where I work.
The Postal Dude: Bless me, father, for I have sinned. No, really! I'm not kidding here! *Big* sinner. Yup!
The Postal Dude: (being arrested) Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, just cuff me already, big man!
The Postal Dude: (after shooting someone while you're dressed as a cop) You stole my donuts, now you're all gonna pay!