Porky's

1982

Mr Cavanaugh: Look's like I'm gonna make a man out of you yet, boy. Tim: A man? If being a man means being what you are, I'd rather be queer.

Tim: Anybody wanna go fly a kite with me tonight? I hear it's great weather for flying KITES! I wonder if there's any KITES around here we can fly! Brian Schwartz: Hey listen, Cavanaugh. It's not kite, it's KIKE! K-I-K-E, "kike." You know, you're too stupid to even be a good bigot!

Pee Wee Morris: GOD DAMN IT! WILL YOU MOVE IT, YOU LARD ASS?

(in a high-pitched falsetto voice) Tommy Turner: Hi I'm Polly the Penis. And I just love to have fun. Ha Ha Ha.

Tommy Turner: Holy shit! It's the mother lode. Billy: I never seen so much wool. You could knit a sweater. Tommy Turner: This has gotta be the biggest beaver shoot in the history of Florida.

Pee Wee Morris: All I need is a watermelon and two jelly donuts! Billy: That's it. I am not taking a shower with you. (Billy and the other guys get up and leave) Pee Wee Morris: Religious fanatics.

Coach Brakett: That's angel food cake. You touch her and the Food and Drug Administration will get ya for fucking food.

Coach Brakett: We could put up wanted posters all over school: Have you seen this prick? Report immediately to Beula Balbricker. Do not attempt to apprehend this prick, as it is armed and dangerous. It was last seen hanging out in the girls' locker room at Angel Beach High School.

Brian Schwartz: When you're Jewish you either learn to fight, or you take a lotta shit. I don't like to take shit

Wendy: Is Mike Hunt here? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Meat: Everybody in town, from what I hear.

Pee Wee Morris: Yeah, that's just how I like 'em! Mickey: You like 'em as long as they aint' dead. Pee Wee Morris: I don't care if they're dead as long as they aint' too cold.

Billy: (trying to warn Pee Wee about Cherry Forever) She's married to some big black stud and he's gonna cut your pecker off. Tommy Turner: Yeah, I hear he's packing tweezers.

Coach Brakett: She's a virgin. Coach Goodenough: Yeah, and the pope's jewish.

Billy: Cherry, this is Pee Wee. Cherry Forever: I'll say. What do you use for a jockstrap, kid? A peanut shell and a rubber band? (laughter from the other guys) Cherry Forever: (to Billy) You know we'd better tie a board across his ass, or he's liable to fall in. (more laughter in background) Cherry Forever: (to Pee Wee) Save your energy, needle dick. You're gonna need it. Pee Wee Morris: (giggling) OK.

(Balbricker has a strong grip on Tommy Turner through the shower room wall) Balbricker: I've got you *now*, Tommy Turner! And I'm taking you to the principal! Somebody get me the principal, Mr Carter. Balbricker: (Tommy is struggling to get free) You disgusting, little, filthy, *pervert*! (Tommy finally gets free and gets out of there) Balbricker: (through the wall) You *freak*! You filthy little pervert. I know you're in there. You dirty little *dickhead*!

Tommy Turner: (to the rest of the guys at Cherry Forever's house) Okay, Cherry's ready. Everyone get their clothes off. Tim: Wait. What's this bullshit? Billy: She's got to make sure everybody clean. No VD. Steve: How's she going to tell that by looking at us? Tommy Turner: She's done this so many times, she's practically a doctor. Tim: Yeah, and who's going to inspect her? (murmurs of agreement from the rest of the guys) Billy: Look, you guys want to get laid or have a debate? Pee Wee Morris: Okay, I'm ready! (they turn to see Pee-Wee wasted no time stripping down, then laughter of all kinds go through the crowd, which Pee-Wee ignores) I'm gonna get laid. Yes, Virginia. There is a Santa Claus.

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