Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol

1987

Zed: Gene, Gene made a machine, and Joe, Joe made it go. Art, Art blew a fart and blew the whole damn thing apart.

Captain Harris: Don't touch those! Don't you ever touch my balls without asking!

Zed: People just don't understand me. Laura: Maybe if you talk slower... Zed: No, I mean who I am. Man, now I have to worry about my diction too?

Tackleberry: (Hands over gun to Mrs Feldman) Now remember, that's a 44 Magnum and it's quite a... (Mrs Feldman shoots target and the blast catapults her to the lodge) Tackleberry: ... kick. Mrs Feldman: Damn, that was fun!

(Mahoney talking to Captain Harris, who just ripped his pants trying to get over a fence) Mahoney: Did anyone tell you what a great tailor you have, Sir? Proctor: I mentioned that, just last week.

Sgt. Tackleberry: You want to become one with the gun. Feel the gun, caress the gun until it's a living, breathing, vibrating extension of yourself. Sgt. Mahoney: I look for the same in a woman.

Capt Harris: Citizens On Patrol. What a joke. You know what C.O.P. really stands for Proctor? Lt Proctor: No sir what? Capt Harris: Collection Of Pissants. (Proctor laughs) That's not funny Proctor. Lt Proctor: No sir.

Capt Harris: Proctor, this is an alley. Lt Proctor: I know sir but these are the directions Mahoney gave me. Capt Harris: Mahoney? Lt Proctor: Yes he says this restaurant has the best salad bar in town. Capt Harris: Well it damn sure better have! (they go inside) Proctor, I don't see a salad bar. Lt Proctor: (sees the name of the restaurant, "The Blue Oyster") Look sir. Maybe they serve fresh seafood. (laughs) Capt Harris: Not funny you idiot!

Proctor: Gee, sir, I thought you could only get contempt of court for opening your mouth!

Zed: (singing along) It's getting to the point now when I'm with you, I no longer want to have something stuck in my eye... Your mother, my mother ain't never looked like Florence Henderson...

Captain Harris: (finding Zed and Laura by the pool) This is not a spawning pool!

Sgt. Moses Hightower: Yamma, yamma, yamma, yamma, yahhhhma. Who think they can kill the brother, of Medula! If I could rip out the heart of a yak and eat it for breakfast... Arnie: That would bring him back to life? Sgt. Moses Hightower: No, mon. I'm a-hungry!

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