Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment

1985

Mahoney: Never fool with a fuzz ball.

Lt Mauser: You're not playing with a full deck, are you? Sergeant Proctor: Oh, I don't play cards.

Lt Mauser: Any day now, Mahoney, and your little ass is mine. Mahoney: You wanted to see me, sir? Lt Mauser: Mahoney, didn't your mother teach you how to knock? Mahoney: It depends. Sir? I hope this isn't going to be too personal? I heard what you said about my little butt and I don't know how to break this to you, sir, but I'm straight.

(after seeing his cat pooped in the cereal) Sgt. Vinnie: Oh I'm sorry, would you like some? Mahoney: (shocked) I'm on a diet.

Lt Mauser: Let me see your piece. Why isn't there any ammo in here? Officer Hooks: I was afraid it would go off. Lt Mauser: Oh, you were afraid it would go off were you? That's one on Hooks

Lt Mauser: That is all. Thanks for your time. Officer Hooks: What about me, sir? Don't I get a car? Lt Mauser: (imitating Hooks) "Oh, what about me sir? Don't I get a car?" No, you don't get a car. You get a nice little chair and a nice little desk and a nice little office for your nice little voice! Officer Hooks: Asshole! Lt Mauser: That's two!

Sgt. Vinnie: Bunky? Bunky how many times do I have to tell you? The litter box, the litter box.

(Sargent Vinnie picks up a chocolate bar from a bus bench) Sgt. Vinnie: Look at that. A half eaten chocolate bar. It's hardly been touched. Do you want some? Mahoney: No thanks.

(Mahoney wears a microphone while infiltrating Zed's gang) Officer Carey Mahoney: So what is this place? It smells like animals. Sgt. Vinnie: They took him to my place?

Captain Peter "Pete" Lassard: Come on guys step on it. (Vinnie's dog steps on Captain Lassard's lap) Captain Peter "Pete" Lassard: Not you Lou.

Greengrocer: Not on broccoli!

(Cmdt. Lassard's water in his fishbowl is boiling on the hibachi) Capt Lassard: This fish is boiling. Japanese Chef: Oh you want stir fry?

Chief Hurst: Mauser, you're the most incredible ass-kisser I have ever seen. Lt Mauser: Thank you very much, sir. I do my best.

Lt Mauser: Hey, wait a minute! My hands are stuck with my head! What the fuck?

Sergeant Proctor: Hightower! Officer Moses Hightower: Yo! Lt Mauser: Yo? Officer Moses Hightower: Yo, sir! Lt Mauser: Yo, sir... You must be from the south! That's "Yes, sir." You got foot patrol.

Chief Hurst: It's official, Captain Lassard. This is now the worst precinct in the entire city! Burglary up 25%, armed robbery up 30%, vandalism up 44%. Lt Mauser: Actually, Chief, if you'd look, burglary is actually up 48%. Chief Hurst: Thank you. Who are you? Lt Mauser: Mauser, sir. M as in man A-U, S as in Sam. Captain Peter "Pete" Lassard: Oh, shut up and sit down, Mauser. He asked for your name, not your biography. Lt Mauser: E-R, sir.

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