Oliver Beene
2003
(on walking in on his parents having sex) Oliver: Oh my god you're killing each other.
Narrator - Adult Oliver: I realized whenever Coach wanted to insult you he would call you by a certain junk food he was craving.
Jerry: You dropped out of junior college. Charlotte: To have your baby. Jerry: Oh sure blame it on Ted.
Narrator - Adult Oliver: An old proverb goes, "bring me the boy at ten and I'll show you the man he will one day become."
(Jerry has just walked in on Ted making out with an African-American girl) Jerry Beene: What have you got to say for yourself? Ted Beene: Don't you people ever knock?
Narrator - Adult Oliver: Black, white, or Martian green, one thing is for sure; a bunch of kids pouring gasoline into a rocket is never a good idea.
Narrator: Last time Dad drank gin, he spent all of the next day in the can. (Jerry is head-first in a trash can)
Michael: Sweetie, the thing about colors is, you can't wear them all at the same time.
(describing Harvey Dillman) Narrator - Adult Oliver: Rebel, bad seed, moron.