Oh! Susanna
1951
Lt Col Unger: Now I know how officers hate sergeants. Seems to be regulations, so I hate sergeants, especially sergeants who can't remember who's in command. All right, for a couple of months Captain Calhoun had this post, but I've been here long enough for even a sergeant to know I've taken over. So if I catch any sergeants - and I hate sergeants - making a report to Captain Calhoun before he makes it to me, I'll tear off his chevrons so quick his arms will come with 'em.
(Captain Calhoun has just told his company that Trooper Riorty was decorated for heroism four times during the Civil War) Trumpeter Benton: Four separate battles? Trooper Riorty: Well, you see, I, uh, I joined up late.
(to a hard case after breaking up a saloon brawl) Capt Webb Calhoun: If you keep looking for trouble as carefully as you have tonight, you're liable to find it.
Lt Col Unger: I don't care a bubble in a dirty river what you think of me. The big point is I don't like the way you let your schoolboy ideas stand in the way of doing a man's job.
Sgt. Barhydt: Yes sir, Mr Cutter, I figured maybe you could set me straight. Lt Cutter: On what, Sergeant? Sgt. Barhydt: Why is it, sir, meaning no disrespect, sir, nobody wants to be a second lieutenant? Lt Cutter: All right, I guess every shavetail that's been out on a day's patrol with you has had to listen to this one. Let's have it, Sergeant. Sgt. Barhydt: Well, sir, and I'll give up a day's pay if I'm wrong. A private wants to be a corporal, and a corporal wants to be a sergeant. But does a sergeant want to be a second lieutenant? Captains are right glad to be captains; majors and colonels are glad to be majors and colonels. But even a second lieutenant doesn't want to be a second lieutenant. Looking for something, sir? Lt Cutter: Yes, a good answer, Sergeant.
Jake Ledbetter: We didn't move out yesterday when some whipper-snapper Lieutenant told us to, and we're not moving out today! The yellow stuff in that creek back there tells us we're going to stay right here for quite a spell. Trooper Muro: (to other troopers) Answer me this. How do they better themselves with the top of their heads gone?
Capt Webb Calhoun: Open the gate, Sergeant. Muro, give me your saber. Sgt. Barhydt: Sir, you're not going to let 'em in! Capt Webb Calhoun: That's the sign for palaver. I'm going out. Sgt. Barhydt: But they're Sioux! That don't mean nothing but a trap. I'm going with you! Capt Webb Calhoun: You'll stay here... just in case. Open the gate! Sgt. Barhydt: Just in case he don't come back. Trooper Muro: If he don't come back, there won't be any case.
(Capt Calhoun senses Sioux warriors are hiding nearby) Charlie Grass: Sioux? There's no Sioux around here. I got a nose for Sioux! Capt Webb Calhoun: You gotta nose for whiskey, Charlie!
(The troopers find Charlie Grass, their Indian scout, shot full of arrows) Sgt. Barhydt: You notice he's still got his hair? That's so when he walks around in the hereafter, everybody will know he wasn't even worth scalping.
Trumpeter Benton: Wishing you could fill up on whiskey, Mr Riorty? Trooper Riorty: I told ya, whiskey don't make a man brave. It just helps him forget he's petrified!