Nutty Professor II: The Klumps
2000
Dean Richmond: Deals come and go. Wellman will always be Wellman. But you know what bothers me? I walking down the street and this 8-year old boy says, Look Mommy, there's the Hamster's BITCH!
Sherman Klump: Buddy Love, I am SICK, and TIRED, of your S-H... Dean Richmond: I. Sherman Klump: Thank you. T-E! Buddy Love: Oh, ho-ho-ho. My shite?
(Sherman is serenading Denise with the assistance of a crap Mexican band) Sherman: Denise will you... Buddy: Hey Sherman. You hear me Sherman? Sherman: ... Denise will ya? Will ya? Let me come up there and put my beef in your taco? Mexican band: ... Put his beef in your taco! Denise: What? Sherman: No, no...
Granny: You better eat up Isaac, 'cause you gonna need your strength. Yeah, later on, me and Isaac gonna watch "Mating Season on the Serengeti." Doesn't take a lot to get Isaac going Cletus: Timeout! Let me call a timeout on that Anna: Lord, my, my. Cletus: I don't want to hear about you old-ass geriatrics Granny: Oh, yeah Cletus? Me and Isaac might be dried up geriatrics, but ain't nothing wrong with Isaac'a love tackle. (Table falls silent) Ernie: Oh snap now Granny: What's a matter Cletus, cat got your tongue? Did I step on a nerve Cletus? I get ya, got ya, got ya!
Grandma Klump: Hey Cletus, who dat der piece of bisghetti remind you of? Is it Mr Johnson perhaps? Cletus shocked Ernie Klump: Oh, snap now.
Granny: Come on Cletus, come on right now! But I'm gonna tell you something, I gotta a razor in this here bag. Cletus: Oh yeah? Well let me tell you something, that ain't even no bag you got in your hand, that's your titty. Anna: Cletus! Cletus: She's an old bag with old bag tittie. Ernie (quietly to Ernie Jr.) : Heh, he called Grandma a titty bag
(Isaac, Granny's boyfriend, walks to the dinner table) Cletus: Well if it isn't the world's oldest living Negro! Hey how's things going on the Underground Railroad Isaac?
Granny: The other day I got out the shower and I bend down to reach for a towel, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Shot through my chest and up around my shoulder and down my spine. I thought "Oh, Lord." I thought I was dying. I bent over and looked, and I was standing on my own titty. Anna: You don't need a breast reduction, just be more careful. Granny: Both feet too, both feet.
Grandma Klump: Does Cletus know I'm strapped? Cletus: Come on, shoot. Grandma Klump: I'm strapped, nigga!