Nip/Tuck
2003
Gina Russo: What's the matter Christian, not attracted to pregnant women? Christian Troy: No, just not attracted to you.
Christian Troy: You didn't have an orgasm, is that right? Grace Santiago: Not a shudder. Christian Troy: You're a liar. I rode you like a triple crown jockey, and you came. Grace Santiago: Get out of my face right now. Christian Troy: I counted each contraction. Three times. Or were you doing your Kegel exercises? Grace Santiago: (whispers) Lock the door.
(at the start of a consultation) Sean/Christian: Tell me what you don't like about yourself?
Julia McNamara: Do you know how long it has been since I have heard you laugh? Since I have even seen you be emotional about anything? Jesus, Sean, I haven't seen you cry since Matt was born. Sean McNamara: I'm not going to apologize for that. I'm a surgeon. If I get emotional patients die. Julia McNamara: I'm not one of your patients, Sean! I'm your wife! And on your watch, a death has occurred, the death of you and me. This marriage doesn't even have a pulse anymore.
Christian Troy: Can I buy you a drink? Kimberly Henry: I don't drink. Christian Troy: May I buy you an appetizer? Kimberly Henry: I don't eat. I'm a model.
Sean McNamara: Matt's having trouble at school, and he told you this? Christian Troy: He's torn up. I guess he was showering in gym and shit and some tough guys were laughing at him and calling him AntEater. Sean McNamara: AntEater? Christian Troy: Basically, he's self-conscious about his dick, and he wants a circumcision. Sean McNamara: He doesn't need a circumcision. That's a vanity operation. Christian Troy: We're in the vanity business, Sean. It's what we do. Appearance is everything to a kid. It's how you fit in. Snip, snip, he feels better about himself, and you, sir, can make that happen. How cool is fatherhood? Sean McNamara: I'm not doing anything to my son's penis or my wife's breasts. I don't want my family infected by what we do here.
Kimberly Henry: I don't understand this! I haven't heard form him since my operation. It thought that we were gonna be together. Sean McNamara: Ms Henry, I think you're confusing Dr Troy's pleasant and very thorough bedside manner with real emotions. Liz Winters: If it's any consolation to ya, honey, you're not the first girl he's done this to, but at least you got a good set of tits out of it, so heal in more ways than one and just go on with your life.
(during an operation) Sean McNamara: You're shaving too deep. Christian Troy: It's fine. Sean McNamara: Do you want it fine or do you want it perfect?
Christian: (about Dr Santiago) She's a troublemaker and her shoes are cheap.
Christian: The line that divides the porn industry and the plastic surgery is a thin one. We're both selling fantasy, aren't we?
Christian Troy: I think I work better on women I've screwed. Once you've seen a woman's cumface, you've seen her soul.
Kimberly Henry: FYI, I met some movie producers who think I'm the bomb. They can't wait to get into the Kimber Henry business.
Gina Russo: My tits are ripe. And this blouse is silk, stains are forever. So, I need you to suck it up.
Grace Santiago: I keep forgetting about the hierarchy of McNamara/Troy, I keep imagining I'm apart of it. Sean McNamara: You were brought aboard with the promise of parity. Grace Santiago: What about respect? It's because I slept with Christian, isn't it? Suddenly I'm no longer a professional with credentials, I'm just his latest conquest. Sean McNamara: I'm not here to pass judgement on your promiscuity. Grace Santiago: Why don't you admit it Sean. You're operating out of repressed rage because I rejected you and slept with your partner. Sean McNamara: Dr Santiago, as a professional, it should have been obvious when I came on to you that I was acting out because of trouble with my marriage, it wasn't personal. It could have been anyone after you. (Grace storms off)
Christian Troy: You had no right to fire my nanny. Gina Russo: I don't want my child around cheap common whores. Christian Troy: He's around you all the time. Oh correction, you're an expensive whore.
Dr Erica Noughton: Why? Do you have a sub-conscious desire to harm me? Sean McNamara: I assure you, any desire I have to harm you is totally conscious.
Salesman: You liked Gina before she conceived, you're gonna love her now, she's a tigress! Christian Troy: Did you screw her? Salesman: Well... yeah. She told me about your guys situation, I thought you were cool! Christian Troy: (shoves salesman) You're bragging to me about banging the mother of my unborn child, and you think I'm cool with that? What kind of sick freak are you? Salesman: She told me you weren't together! Christian Troy: What's the difference? That's my god damn child you're poking at! Salesman: She was just so lonely and beautiful. You can't see it, but I can! Christian Troy: (knocks salesman down) Cancel my order! Stay away from my kid!
Sean McNamara: (discussing patient Manya Mabika, who wants reconstructive surgery on her genitals to reverse a childhood clitoridectomy) I don't think this is something we can do! Christian Troy: Look, Sean, you may be the expert on complex microsurgery, but I'm a goddamn genius when it comes to pussy. If I build it, she will come.
Sean McNamara: Remember, We're treating a patient here, not just a vagina. Christian Troy: That's easy for you to say. You've never been with Vagina Gina.
Liz Winters: (to Christian Troy) You really want to get inside a woman? Stop thinking like a dick.
Sean McNamara: I'd rather be a good doctor who helps people than a brilliant doctor who hurts them.
Matt McNamara: Look, what's happened between the three of you is painful. But we can fix this. Sean McNamara: Your Mother slept with my best friend, and you were the result, and I didn't know for 17 years, so stop defending them! Matt McNamara: Yeah, and my Mother is sleeping in a hotel because you kicked her out, and I can hear you crying thorough the walls at night, so don't you dare scream at me!
Christian Troy: Sorry I'm late. Miss Wentworth: Have a seat, Mr McNamara. Christian Troy: It's Troy. Dr Christian Troy. Miss Wentworth: I'm confused. I thought you were his father. Christian Troy: I am. I'm his, uh, biological father. Matt McNamara: I have 2 dads. Miss Wentworth: Well, was there a divorce? Oh, got it. 2 dads. Emily Willis has 2 momies. We're seeing more and more of this. Christian Troy: Matt's father is my partner, Dr Sean McNamara. Miss Wentworth: I understand. Matt McNamara: They're not gay, Miss Wentworht. My Mom slept with Christian before she married my Dad. Adrian Moore: Technically, I don't have any father figures, but Matt's living in my house and screwing my Mom, so I pretend he's my Dad. Ava Moore: It's true, Miss Wentworth. Matt and I are lovers. I was his life coach. Adrian Moore: You see, Matt has a problem. He's a premature ejaculator. Miss Wentworth: Ok, enough. I deal with dysfunctional families on a daily basis. And trust me, everyone has a story, and none of you are that special.
Sean McNamara: Did you urinate in the soap dispenser, Matt? This act of aggression isn't funny, what's funny about it? Matt McNamara: This whole thing is funny, Dad. It's idiotic. Sean McNamara: I asked you a question, Matt. Did you do this? Matt McNamara: No. Sean McNamara: Adrian, was it you? Adrian Moore: Ohh. He's scary, your other dad. Sean McNamara: You're not leaving here until I get an answer. Ava Moore: Don't you dare threaten my son. Adrian Moore: Yeah, I urinated in the soap dispenser. You wanna spank me?
Ava Moore: (to Adrian) You're not too old to get a backhand and I'm wearing heavy rings.
Sean McNamara: Erotic is when you use a fetaher. Porn is when you use the whole chicken... and this girl's been through A LOT of chicken.
Sean McNamara: I know your body. I always have. I know where you live and breathe. Julia McNamara: Then how come I haven't had an orgasm in two years? Sean McNamara: Because I didn't want to work that hard.
Christian: (in reference to the vandalizing of his car) I'm serious, I felt violated. The last time I felt like this was back in the early 90s when some girl shoved her finger up my butt with no warning.
Gina Russo: Hey asshole, my water just broke.
Sean McNamara: Are you saying that I have your ineptitude to thank for my success? Christian Troy: No, you have my 10 inch dick to thank.
Christian Troy: Ever notice how "monogamy" rhymes with "monotony"?
Christian Troy: (addressing a competing plastic surgeon who's wearing a white suit) Merrill. You look like a Q-Tip.
(after a girl's night out makeover) Liz Winters: I don't look like me! Sophia Lopez: Well, I'm sorry. They don't make a lipstick shade called "BullDyke"
(in a bar where industrial music is playing, Christian moves in on a younger woman) Christian Troy: Would you believe the shit that passes for music these days? 25 Year Old Woman: You should come here Wednesdays, it's oldies night.
Christian Troy: (to Ava Moore) You lubricate acid. If I stick my dick up you, it would shrivel off.
Julia McNamara: (to Christian Troy) When did you become so cruel?
Sean McNamara: (to Christian before his rectal exam after being raped by the Carver) What part of you being or having an asshole could shock me?
Christian Troy: I'm a wildly successful plastic surgeon and I have a 33-inch waist. I'm a superhero, so now I'm going to put my cape back on and get back out there.
Christian Troy: If you'll excuse me I'm going upstairs to pay somebody to pretend they like me.
Quentin Costa: You're a bitch. Julia McNamara: Maybe, but at least I'm not yours.