Nine to Five
1980
(while conversing with a candy-striper, Violet realizes the coat she's stolen is a doctor's) Violet: I'm a doctor. So why the hell am I talking to you? Piss off.
Violet: All right, I'm gonna leave. But don't you ever refer to me as your girl again. Franklin M. Hart Jr.: What is God's name are you talking about? Violet: I'll tell you what I'm talking about. I'm no girl, I'm a woman. I'm not you wife or your mother. Violet: (gesturing toward Doralee) Or even your mistress. Doralee: What? Violet: I am your employee and as such I expect to be treated with a little dignity and a little respect.
Doralee: What do you mean "mistress"? Violet: Oh, just come off it, Doralee. The whole company knows you two are having an affair. Doralee: Who's been saying we're having an affair? Violet: (pointing at Hart) Who's been saying it? He has.
Doralee: So that's why everyone around here treats me like some dime-store floozy. They all think I'm screwing the boss. And you just love it, don't you? It gives you some kind of cheap thrill like knocking over pencils and picking up papers. I've put up with all of your pinching, poking, staring and chasing me around the desk because I need this job. But this is the last straw. I've got a gun out there in my purse. Up until now I've been forgiving and forgetting because of the way I was brought up, but I'll tell you one thing. If you say another word about me or make another indecent proposal, I'm gonna get that gun of mine and I'm gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot. And don't think I can't do it.
Violet: Oh, God. They know about the rat poison. I might as well just turn myself in. Doralee: Violet, it was an accident. Violet: I'm a murderer. Judy: No, you're not. Violet: I'm a murderess. I'm gonna go to the pen. My poor kids. I'm gonna lose my job. Judy: Violet, stop this. Violet: I'm no fool. I've killed the boss, you think they're not gonna fire me for a thing like that?
Judy: What are we going to do? If we let him go, he'll call the police. Doralee: And why not? He's got me for roping him, Violet for poisoning him and Judy for acting like he was first prize at a turkey shoot.
(Judy's fantasy - she's a big game hunter and Hart is the prey) Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Judy, do you realize there are people trying to kill me out there? Why would anyone want to kill me? I'm not such a bad guy. Judy: You're a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. Franklin M. Hart Jr.: So I have a few faults; who doesn't? Judy: You're foul, Hart. A wart on the nose of humanity and I'm going to blast it off. (she points her shotgun at him) Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Oh, God. You're just as crazy as the rest of them.
(Violet's fantasy - she's Snow White and Hart is the villain) Violet: Your coffee, Mr Hart. (Hart drinks the coffee, steam comes from his ears, he screams and his head spins around on his neck) Franklin M. Hart Jr.: I think there was something in that coffee. Violet: I think you're right. Franklin M. Hart Jr.: I think it was poison. Violet: Right again. Franklin M. Hart Jr.: I think you did it. Violet: (singing) Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Why? Violet: Why do you think? Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Because I'm a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot? Violet: Bingo.
(Doralee's fantasy - she is a rodeo competitor and the boss is her target) Rodeo Announcer: (voiceover) The pen is open and that's a mean-looking bronc. Our next contender is Miss Doralee Rhodes. Let's see how long it takes her to hogtie this sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. Whoa. She's already got him. And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, five seconds for Miss Doralee Rhodes.
Violet: (about Judy) But she has never worked a day in her life before. Jim: I know, but she's just been divorced and she needs the job. Violet: Yeah, and I'm a widow with 5 kids; Jerry should have never died, I could have divorced him. Is that her? Jim: Yes. Violet: We're gonna need a special locker for that hat.
Violet: One thing you should know about dear old Roz... She's the eyes, ears, nose, and throat of Mr Hart. Anything she hears, he hears. Judy: You mean she's a... company spy? Violet: I'm just saying, if you want to gossip in the ladies' room, check under the stalls for her shoes.
Doralee: You know... I just don't get it, Dwayne. Dwayne Rhodes: What's that, honey? Doralee: I'm as nice as I know how to be to every single person in that office. Everyone treats ME like a... BASTARD at a family reunion.
Roz Keith: Here, Violet, you can stick this up on the bulletin board. Violet: Thanks, Roz - I know just *where* to *stick* it.
Violet: What could we use to keep Hart quiet? Judy: Blackmail? Violet: Blackmail. Oh, that's a great idea. But what could we get him on? Judy: A sex scandal. Take a picture of him in bed with a prositute. Doralee: No, who'd care? Violet: She's right. Hart would simply buy up all the copies and then distribute them as Christmas cards.
Violet: What are you, a man or a mouse? I mean, a woman or a wouse?
Violet: I have to go shopping. We're running out of everything: cat food, fish food, ant spray, rat poison.
(in Doralee's fantasy, she's the boss making advances toward her secretary Hart) Franklin M. Hart Jr.: I'm a married man, Mrs Rhodes! Doralee: Frank, you belong to your wife at home, but you're my boy from 9 to 5!
Roz Keith: Did you get my memo? Violet: (ambiguously) I did, Roz. I tore right through it.
(Hart is about to be "promoted," and shanghaied from CC to Brazil, by Tinsworthy) Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Mister Tinsworthy, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, but... Russell Tinsworthy: So you accept. Very good. Let's just go on up to Hinkle's floor and work out the details, shall we? (He marches Hart into the elevator) Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Mister Tinsworthy, the JUNGLE... ! Russell Tinsworthy: Jungle, hell! I'm offering you the chance of a lifetime! Two or three years down there, and you'll never wanna come back. Besides, I hear your wife just LOVES to travel. Franklin M. Hart Jr.: My WIFE?... Oh, God... Mister Tinsworthy... ! Russell Tinsworthy: (firmly cutting him off) Hart! Let me tell you one thing: I didn't get where I am today by taking "no" for answer. Franklin M. Hart Jr.: (feebly) Brazil... ? I guess it could be worse.
Doralee: (Hart has just presented Doralee with a scarf, which Violet THOUGHT she was buying for his wife Missy) ... It's very nice. Franklin M. Hart Jr.: It's also very nothing. Doralee, I'm a rich man; I've got a checkbook on that desk. You just say the word and you can write your own figure. Doralee: I could do that now, Mr Hart; I sign your name better than you do. Franklin M. Hart Jr.: I'm serious, Doralee. Don't you get it? I am CRAZY about you. You're all I ever think about! Doralee: Mr Hart, I've told you before: I'm MARRIED! Franklin M. Hart Jr.: So am I! That's what makes it so PERFECT!
(Hart mistakenly believes Doralee, Violet and Judy have attempted to murder him) Doralee: Mr Hart, I swear to you on Everything Holy: Violet put the rat poison in your coffee strictly by ACCIDENT! Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Well, she might be able to get a jury and the press to believe that; then again, she might not. But I think the real question here is whether or not YOU want to take that chance. Doralee: Just what are you driving at? Franklin M. Hart Jr.: It's very simple. You could make me forget the whole thing, if you come up to my house tonight and do what I want. Doralee: You are DISGUSTING! Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Is that a "no"? Too bad.
Roz Keith: (departing for a bogus journey to learn French, reading from a manual) Bonjour... bonjour... bonjour! Hmmm.
Doralee: I still say we hire a couple of wranglers to go up there and beat the shit out of him.
Judy: (to her ex-husband) Hit the road, buster! This is where you get off!
Eddie Smith: How am I supposed to get out of this mail room prison if they keep hiring people from the outside? (to Judy Bernly) Lady, you're gonna *hate* it, here.
Dick Bernly: So! This is what you're into now! Bondage! Judy: What's that? Dick Bernly: Bondage, S&M, sex games! Judy: That's right! All of it, I'm into all of it, now get out of here! Dick Bernly: Who was that guy? Judy: He's my boss. Dick Bernly: Your boss! You're having an affair with your boss, isn't that typical! Judy: Just like you had an affair with your secretary! Dick Bernly: But, Judy, you can't do this! This isn't you! Judy: Don't you tell me what I can or can't do! Those days are over! And if I want to have an affair, or play sex games, or do M&M's, you can't stop me! Dick Bernly: M&M's?