Muppet*vision 3-D

1991

Kermit the Frog: We will also see a rousing finale from Sam the Eagle. What's it called, Sam? Sam the Eagle: It's called "A Salute to All Nations, But Mostly America".

Kermit the Frog: Sam, are you ready with that finale? Sam the Eagle: It's a glorious three-hour finale! Kermit the Frog: You got a minute and a half.

Waldorf: Hey, hey, what's going on? Sweetums: Bunny ran away! Statler: Well, you know what that makes him... Statler, Waldorf: SMARTER THAN US!

Waldo C. Graphic: (after being inflated and duplicated) Great! Now I can start my own football team!

Statler: Well, what do you think? Waldorf: Do we have time to go to the bathroom before the next show? Statler: We can't. We're bolted to the seats!

Sam the Eagle: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is my honor to present to you... Mr Mickey Mouse! Rizzo the Rat: (singing to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club March) Oh, Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da! Hi there, welcome to my park, how'ya doin'... Sam the Eagle: Wait a minute! You are not Mickey Mouse! You are a rat! Rizzo the Rat: Rat, schmat! Besides, they're tourists. What do they know?

Scooter: Uh, ladies and gentlemen, if you could just step as far forward and close together as you can. Rizzo the Rat: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, real close, you see we're doing research on deoderant strength.

(first lines) Statler: Hey, Waldorf, what is this anyway? Waldorf: Oh, it's one of those 3-D movies. Better put on your glasses. (Statler does so) Statler: (looking at the audience) Hey, check out the guy in the Goofy mask. Waldorf: That's no mask. Statler: Ooops. Sorry, lady!

(a banana cream pie comes flying out of the screen) Kermit the Frog: What is that? Fozzie Bear: Isn't it great? It's my new remote-controlled banana cream pie. Fozzie Bear: Hey Kermit... Watch this! (Fozzie presses a button and the remote control breaks causing the pie to spin and end up on Fozzie's face) Kermit the Frog: Oh, Fozzie, that's terrible! Fozzie Bear: (tasting it) Yeah, you're right... needs more sugar.

Camilla: Bawk, buck, ba-gawk. Fozzie Bear: Hey, you're not a penguin. You're a chicken. I told you chickens to stay on the other side of the road. (to no one in particular) Okay, everyone, why did this chicken cross the road? Camilla: Ba-gawk, buck, ba-gawk, bawk, bawk, bawk. Fozzie Bear: Oh, that's funny. Hey, everyone, why did the chicken cross the road?

Statler: Oh, no, it's that bear again. Waldorf: Hey, bear, you're not even funny in 3-D! (they laugh) Fozzie Bear: Oh, no, not you guys. How'd you get here? Statler: We entered a contest. Waldorf: Yeah, and we lost.

Kermit the Frog: And our demonstration will also include a little song from Miss Piggy... Miss Piggy: (irritably clearing throat) Little? Kermit the Frog: Little? Did I say little? I meant to say it's a huge, showstopping, major song from Miss Piggy? Miss Piggy: (sweetly) That's more like it.

Sam the Eagle: Will you stop this foolishness? The Great Gonzo: What foolishness would you like to see?

Sam the Eagle: Upon entering the theater, please move as far to the end of the row as possible. Stopping in the middle is distinctly unpatriotic.

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