A Muppet Family Christmas
1987 (TV)
Statler: We'd love to see your act. Waldorf: We'd hate to miss your act. Statler: In fact, we'd love to hate your act. (they cackle)
Snowman: Hey Fozzie. Fozzie Bear: Yes, Mr Snowman? Snowman: Did you hear about the church that burned down? Statler, Waldorf: Holy smoke! (they cackle)
Doc: I don't care if the turkey said the dog was a turkey! The dog is not the turkey! The turkey's the turkey, you turkey!
Fozzie Bear: Ah, Christmas. The time for Santa Claus and his eight flying rein-bear. Snowman: That's reindeer. Fozzie Bear: No, that's SNOW, DARLING!
Doc: How do you do, I'm Doc. Bert: Did you know that Doc starts with the letter "D?" Doc: Yes. Ernie: Yes! Yes starts with the letter "Y" Doc: True. Ernie: And true starts with the letter "T" Doc: What is all this? Bert: Where we come from, this is small talk.
Doc: That's one worried frog. Count: That's ONE! One worried frog! Robin: Well, he's not the only one. Count: That's TWO! Two worried frogs! Ha ha ha ha!
Fozzie Bear: Oh, how little you understand bears, Kermit. My mother loves surprises. Gonzo: Well, good, cuz she's in for a honey.
Rowlf: Boy, is this piano out of tune... I love out of tune pianos.
Kermit: If there's one thing Miss Piggy knows, it's how to make an entrance.
Janice: There's Rowlf when he was just a wee pup. Rowlf: Not so wee. I was paper-trained.
Floyd: There's Miss Hamhock back when she was just a little sausage roll.
Doc: Even weirdoes are cute when they're babies. Gonzo: I knew you'd learn to love us! Doc: I didn't say that.
Kermit: It's cold. Fozzie Bear: It is not cold. Snowman: (Entering the house) Can I come in and warm up? Fozzie Bear: Okay so it's cold.
Doc: You promised me a nice, quiet Christmas. Mrs Bear: You think you're disappointed? I just took two months of surfing lessons for zip.
(repeated line) Various Characters: Careful the icy patch!
Doc: You promised me a nice quiet Christmas! Animal: Peace on Earth! Give Me Presents!
Doc: Careful, Sprocket. These may be from some foreign planet. Mrs Bear: Actually, they're from television. I recognize Fozzie's weirdo friends.
Gonzo: This is not a good place for turkies! Turkey: Not to worry. I'm a survivor.
Turkey: Where's my room? Gonzo: If you're not careful, it'll be in the oven.
Rowlf: I've been chasing the truck all this time, and boy am I exhausted.
Fozzie Bear: Are you ready to listen to me? Kermit: I'm all ears. Fozzie Bear: What does he mean he's all ears? Frogs don't even have ears!
Kermit: Hark! What is this I hear? Gonzo: You're about to hear me make some turkey hash!
Doc: Sprocket and I came here for a nice quiet Christmas, but this is better!
Snowman: You'll be sorry! It's cold enough to freeze your winnobegah!
Floyd: She don't look bad... for a pig.
Moreen: Hi. I'm Moreen the Mink. Miss Piggy: What? Kermit: She said, "Hi. I'm Maureen the Mink." Miss Piggy: I HEARD HER! I HEARD HER! I HEARD HER! I HEARD HER!
Gonzo: Camila's MY girlfriend! Turkey: You're not even a bird! Gonzo: Well, nobody's perfect.
Mrs Bear: I'm afraid we're running out of room. Two of you will have to sleep on hangers. Gonzo: What a fabulous idea! Animal: Love hanging! Love hanging! Floyd: That's the only way Animal ever sleeps, ma'am.
Fozzie Bear: See, Mom? I told you everything would work out! Mrs Bear: Your friends are all weirdos, Fozzie... but they're nice weirdos.