Mike Bassett: England Manager
2001
Mike: How am I supposed to know. Just do whatever you want.
Mike: Fucking better do this because you are fucking this up. Kids would fucking die to wear those fucknig shirts. You are all so fucking useless. You gotta prove you can fucking do this because at the moment you are fucking losing 2-0 to the fucking Mexicans.
Mike: (Harpsey's phone rings, Mike snatches it off him) Will you *fuck off*? (throws Harpsey's phone to the floor)
Mike: Ladies and gentlemen. England will be playing Four-Four-Fucking Two.
Karine Bassett: (to Camera) Last night Mike had a dream that Bobby Moore was chasing him round Wembley Stadium shouting "Look what you've done you bloody idiot"
Kevin Tonkinson: (having been arrested for drink-driving) It wasn't my fault, boss, I had to swerve to avoid the traffic! Mike: Only because you were on the wrong side of the bloody road! How many milligrams did you have? Kevin Tonkinson: 88. Mike: 88 bloody milligrams! You go on the piss all day, you've ballooned out like the Pillsbury Doughboy! You've really let me down this time, Tonka, I'm telling you. Kevin Tonkinson: I wrote an apology, boss! Mike: Oh, fuck the apology! You could go to jail for this! What sort of system am I going to play then? Three across the middle and one in bloody Pentonville?