A Midsummer Night's Dream
1935
Bottom: I have had a most rare vision. I have had a dream; past the wit of man to say what dream it was. Methought I was - -man is but an ass if he go about to expound this dream. Methought I was - -and methought I had - -man is but a patched fool if he will offer to say (chuckling) what methought I was and what methought I had. (breaks into uncontrollable laughter and suddenly brays like a jackass)
Lysander: Hermia, the course of true love never did run smooth.
Puck: Lord, what fools these mortals be!
Demetrius, in Love with Hermia: Lysander, yield your crazed title to my certain right. Lysander: You have her father's love, Demetrius. Let me have Hermia's. You marry him.
Quince, the Carpenter: Nick Bottom, you are set down for... Pyramus. Bottom: I play Pyramus! I play Pyramus! I play Pyramus!... What is Pyramus?
Demetrius, in Love with Hermia: Where are Lysander and fair Hermia? The one I'll slay; the other slayeth me.
Quince, the Carpenter: Come, sit down, every mother's son, and rehearse your parts. And we will do it in action as we will do it before the duke. Pyramus, you begin. Bottom: Well, I begin. Oh, Thisny! Quince, the Carpenter: And when you have spoken your speech... Bottom: Then I stop. Quince, the Carpenter: No, no. Bottom: Well, then I go on. Quince, the Carpenter: No, no! Then you enter into that brake; and so everyone according to his cue. Thisby! Stand forth. Speak, Pyramus. Bottom: Oh, Thisny, the flowers - ... Quince, the Carpenter: "Oh, Thisby." Bottom: This-nee. Quince, the Carpenter: This-bee! Bottom: Nay! Quince, the Carpenter: Ay! Bottom: Nay! Quince, the Carpenter: Ay! Bottom: This (he pulls his copy of the script from his waist) ... This (he reads the scroll and scowls) ... This... neebay. "The flowers of odious - -" Quince, the Carpenter: Odorous, odorous! Bottom: Odorous, odorous. The flowers odi - - the flowers odorous savors sweet. "Oh, Thisby, the flowers of odorous savors sweet; so have thy breath... (He gets a whiff of Flute's breath and recoils) Oh, Thisby, my dearest Thisby dear. But hark!" (Flute erupts into a coughing fit. Bottom throws down his scroll, storms off, and is led back by Quince. He points accusatively at Flute) Thisny! Quince, the Carpenter: (handing back Bottom's scroll) Thisby. Bottom: "But hark, a voice! Stay you but here a while, and by and by I will to you appear." (He exits the wrong way) Quince, the Carpenter: Into that brake!
Flute, the Bellows-Mender: "I'll meet thee, Pyramus, at Ninny's tomb." Quince, the Carpenter: Ninny's? Quince, the Carpenter: Ninny's. Flute, the Bellows-Mender: Ninny's. Flute, the Bellows-Mender: Ninny's. Quince, the Carpenter: "Ninus' tomb", man! Flute, the Bellows-Mender: (Flute begins to repeat Quince's words and gestures) Ninus' tomb, man! Quince, the Carpenter: But you must not speak that yet! Flute, the Bellows-Mender: But you must not speak that yet! Quince, the Carpenter: Ohhh... Flute, the Bellows-Mender: Ohhh... Quince, the Carpenter: That you answer to Pyramus! Flute, the Bellows-Mender: That you answer to Pyramus! Quince, the Carpenter: You speak all your part at once, cues and all! Flute, the Bellows-Mender: You speak all your part at once, cues... I won't play anymore.
Bottom: To say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays.
Lysander: Helena, I love you, by my life I do! Demetrius, in Love with Hermia: I say I love you more than he can do! Lysander: If you say so, withdraw, and prove it too. Demetrius, in Love with Hermia: Come! Lysander: Come! Demetrius, in Love with Hermia: Quick! Lysander: Quick! Demetrius, in Love with Hermia: Come quick! Lysander: Quick, come! (They draw swords)
Hermia, in Love with Lysander: (to Helena) How low am I, you painted maypole? Speak! How low am I? I am not yet so low but that my nails can reach into your eyes!
Demetrius, in Love with Hermia: (Puck is leading Demetrius astray through a fog) Lysander! Speak again! You runaway. You coward. Are you fled? Puck: You coward! Are you bragging to the stars? Telling the bushes that you look for wars, and wilt not come?