Meatballs
1979
Tripper: You must be the short depressed kid we ordered.
Tripper: Attention. Here's an update on tonight's dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The winner of tonight's mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed "some kind of beef."
Tripper: And even if we win, if we win, HAH! Even if we play so far above our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days; even if God in Heaven above points his hand at our side of the field; even if every man woman and child joined hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn't matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Mohawk because they've got all the money! It just doesn't matter if we win or if we lose. IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER! Rest of group: IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER! IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER...
Tripper: (entering party) Alright, virgins to the left, non-virgins to the right. (to Crocket and Wheels) You guys split 'em up however you want.
Crockett: Hardware. Hardware: Yeah, Crockett? Crockett: You're a dick.
Tripper: Kids are starving in China and you're walking around with a sombrero full of peanuts.
Wendy: Tripper, I'm looking forward to some action this summer. I hope you can supply it. Tripper: I'll supply it for you, but the guy you gotta watch out for is Spaz! Wendy: Spaz? Tripper: He's a sex machine. Wendy: He couldn't wake me up with a trumpet and a drum! Tripper: Well I went out with him one night and he got off six nurses by himself, and four of them couldn't report to work the next morning!
Tripper: Ok, the zone's not working. They're a little too big to play man-to-man. And we can't shoot for shit.
Tripper: (on loudspeaker) Attention all campers, it's 9: 30... and that's lights-out time here at Camp Northstar, 9: 30 as you know. Tomorrow is parents day, and you must look rested or Morty will be sent to the state penitentiary.
Hardware: Another panty raid, Trip?
Tripper: But, the real excitement of course is going to come at the end of the summer, during Sexual Awareness week. We import two hundred hookers from around the world, and each camper, armed with only a thermos of coffee and two thousand dollars cash, tries to visit as many countries as he can. The winner of course is named King of Sexual Awareness week and is allowed to rape and pillage the neighboring towns until camp ends.
Tripper: Mmmmm. Look at all those steaming wieners. Do you know what they're saying? They're saying, "This is the year that Fink beats 'The Stomach'." (Fink picks up a hot dog and holds it to his ear) Tripper: No, it's a couple of them over here... but they're saying it.