McLeod's Daughters

2001

Claire McLeod: What Alex? It's just a boob. Alex Ryan: Yeah but it's a breastfeeding boob, not a GROPING boob.

Becky Howard: Men! You can't live with em, you can't shoot em.

Claire McLeod: Well if Clint Eastwood turns up to save us - tell him to rack off.

(Tess has spent the night at Alex's looking after "his" baby which had been dumped on his doorstep) Claire McLeod: I would put money on you having a problem. Tess Silverman McLeod: Yeah well, getting rid of fornicating pests is quite appealing this morning.

Claire McLeod: You ready for another beer, Maid Marion? (laughs) Alex Ryan: Yeah thanks Nick. Tess Silverman McLeod: (laughing) What? Claire McLeod: It's his middle name. (everyone laughs) Alex Ryan: Yeah it's Marion, right yeah, go on get it out of your system, have a good laugh.

Alex Ryan: (drunk) I love you, Claire. I love you more than my chopper.

Tess Silverman McLeod: You are feeling guilty, aren't you? Nick Ryan: So take advantage. Tess Silverman McLeod: Oh, I intend to.

Dave Brewer: Maybe we could pose with some stock... like the sheep. Nick Ryan: Sure that'll look great! three naked guys and a paddock full of pregnant sheep.

(after the shed exploded during the fire) Nick Ryan: If you wanted to get rid of the shed you could've just knocked it down

Alex Ryan: I'm no expert but I reckon you're jealous. You don't like the idea of sharing Tess with anyone else, do you? Nick Ryan: You're right. You're no expert.

Claire McLeod: Put it away mate Alex Ryan: Get out of here, I'm a man, she's a woman. Claire McLeod: Thanks, so what does that make me? Alex Ryan: Why you're a... you're a Claire

Alex Ryan: I love it when you talk dirty

Tess Silverman McLeod: After Claire admits stealing a stamp at school. Nerd crimes don't count Claire.

Claire McLeod: Have I ever mentioned Sandra Kinsela Tess Silverman McLeod: Well, no Claire McLeod: There's a reason for that... I hate her guts.

Dave Brewer: Turn it up, we're taking over.

Claire McLeod: I talk to you. Tess Silverman McLeod: But I'm not a single attractive, interesting man. Claire McLeod: Well spotted.

Tess Silverman McLeod: With the internet the whole worlds just one big village. Meg Fountain: And your the village matchmaker.

(about the boot that Claire is using as a stand in for the baby) Tess Silverman McLeod: Junior must take after your side of the family.

(after finding out that Harry and Sandra are sleeping together) Nick Ryan: Look on the bright side Alex Ryan: There isn't one Nick Nick Ryan: At least you didn't sleep with Sandra. (looks over at Alex, his face tells a different story) You didn't.

(after a man claiming to be Jack's son turns up) Terry Dodge: That man sowed enough wild oats to make porridge.

Stevie Hall: Do me a favor. Tess Silverman McLeod: You do me one. Butt out.

Tess Silverman McLeod: Why are you being such an idiot? Nick Ryan: Why are you being so gullible?

(after Nick tell him and Sandra there will be no more personal abuse) Alex Ryan: You stupid git.

(about Alex's attitude towards Sandra) Nick Ryan: Do you realise you are in a 'mine's bigger than yours' competition with a woman

Tess Silverman McLeod: Perhaps she thinks alpacas are cool Jodi Fountain: Yeah, it seems a pity to shatter her illusions

Tess Silverman McLeod: You are a petty, greedy, money hungry... cattle barron. Nick Ryan: Well then try this, we're over. Tess Silverman McLeod: We never began. Nick Ryan: Well fantastic, we agree. Tess Silverman McLeod: Yeah you bet we do.

Jodi Fountain: I am beginning to wonder if Stevie is seriously mentally unbalanced Stevie Hall: We've got to check the water pumps, even the mentally unbalanced have to work.

Nick Ryan: Stairs or Sandra - either will kill you. (Nick after Harry tells him he has to be able to make it up the stairs, without stopping before he can get "intimate" with Sandra again)

Nick Ryan: Shopping, these people are truly evil, if we stay her long enough we might see them doing something really depraived like cooking. (Nick as he and Alex watch Peter's family trying to dig up dirt on Peter)

Stevie Hall: Claire had really bad taste in men. Tess Silverman McLeod: What about Alex? Stevie Hall: Like I said, she had bad taste.

Dave Brewer: (after mistakenly gelding Harry's horse) If I never touch a horse's testicles again it will be too soon.

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