Madagascar
2005
Marty the Zebra: The penguins are going, so why can't I? Alex the Lion: Marty, the penguins are psychotic.
Skipper the Penguin: (on arriving at Antarctica) Well, this sucks!
Marty the Zebra: I'm ten years old and I don't even know if I'm black with white stripes or white with black stripes!
Skipper the Penguin: You! Higher mammal, can you read?
(last lines) Private the Penguin: Skipper... don't you think we should tell them that the boat's out of gas? Skipper the Penguin: Naah... just smile and wave, boys; smile and wave.
Julian: Come on? time to robot! (robot voice) I am very clever king... tok tok tok tok... I am super genius... I am robot king of the monkey thing... compute... compute.
Alex the Lion: Here come the people, Marty! Oh, I love the people! It's fun people fun time!
Alex the Lion: What does Connecticut have to offer us? Melman the Giraffe: Lyme disease. Alex the Lion: Thank you, Melman.
Gloria the Hippo: Ooh, aren't you the sweetest little thing? I'd just like to dunk you in my coffee.
Gloria the Hippo: Aww, you poor little baby, did that big mean lion scare you? Mort the Mouse Lemur: Mm-hmm. Gloria the Hippo: He did? He's a big fat old puddy-tat, isn't he? Mort the Mouse Lemur: (gurgling and lifting arms up to be picked up) Gloria the Hippo: Come on, mama hold you. Awww! Melman the Giraffe: They are so cute from a reasonable distance. Gloria the Hippo: Look at you! Aren't you the sweetest thing... aww I just wanna dunk him in my coffee! Mort the Mouse Lemur: (giggling cutely)
Skipper the Penguin: Well, boys, our monochromatic friend's in danger. Looks like we have a job to do. (directing Private) Captain's Log: Embarking into hostile environment. Kawolski! We'll need to win the hearts and the minds of the natives. Rico! We'll need special tactical equipment. We're gonna face extreme peril. Private probably won't survive. (Private's crayon tip breaks off and he looks up in shock)
Mort the Mouse Lemur: King Julian! What are they? (shouts) What are they? Julian: They are... aliens! Savage aliens! From the savage future! Maurice: They've come to kill us! And take our women! And our precious metals! Mort the Mouse Lemur: (begins weeping) Julian: Get up Mort! Do not be near the King's feet, okay!
Mort the Mouse Lemur: They are savages! Tonight we die. Julian: The feet! I told you about - I told you to - I told you - didn't I tell him about the feet? Maurice: He did tell you about the feet. Mort the Mouse Lemur: (cutely) E-he.
Melman the Giraffe: They are kind of cute from a reasonable distance.
Julian: (presenting Alex with his crown) I would like you to have this. Alex the Lion: Oh, Julian, I couldn't. Julian: Oh, that's OK. I've got an even bigger one with a gecko on it!
Julian: Maurice, you have insulted the giant freaks!
Julian: I lke them too! Mort the Mouse Lemur: Well, you hate them compared to how much I like them!
Alex the Lion: I feel like a mile-high, pastrami on rye, on the fly from the deli in the sky!
Marty the Zebra: Alex, do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming. If a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone.
(singing) Alex the Lion: Happy... Gloria the Hippo: Birth... Melman the Giraffe: Day... Alex the Lion: To... Gloria the Hippo: You... Alex the Lion: You... Melman the Giraffe: Live... Gloria the Hippo: In... Alex the Lion: A zoo... Gloria the Hippo: You... Melman the Giraffe: Look... Alex the Lion: Like a monkey... Melman the Giraffe: And... Alex the Lion: You smell... Gloria the Hippo: Like... (all together) Alex the Lion, Melman the Giraffe, Gloria the Hippo: One too!
Alex the Lion: (talking in his sleep) Come on now, baby. My little filet. My little filet mignon with a little fat around the edges. I like that. I like a little fat on my steak. My sweet, juicy steak. You are a rare delicacy.
Alex the Lion: Lady! What is wrong with you? Get a grip on yourself!
Marty the Zebra: (whispering) It's the man!
Gloria the Hippo: Melman! Are you okay? Melman the Giraffe: Yeah. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI. Alex the Lion: Melman, you're not getting an MRI. Melman the Giraffe: CAT scan? Alex the Lion: No! No CAT scan! It's a transfer! It's a zoo transfer! Melman the Giraffe: Zoo transfer? Oh, no. No, no. I can't be transferred. I have an appointment with Dr Goldberg at five. There are prescriptions that have to be filled! No other zoo can afford my medical care! And I am not going HMO! Marty the Zebra: Take it easy, Melman. We are gonna be o-kizzay. Alex the Lion: No, we're not gonna be o-kizzay! Because of you, we're ruined!
Alex the Lion: You bit the hand, Marty! You bit the hand!
Alex the Lion: Giraffe! Corner pocket!
Alex the Lion: (shouts) You maniac! You burned it up! Darn you! Darn you all to heck! Melman the Giraffe: Can we go to the fun side now?
Melman the Giraffe: It's getting late. I guess I'm gonna... (starts snoring)
Julian: Welcome to Madagascar. Marty the Zebra: Mada-who-ah? Julian: No. Not who-ah. As-car.
Marty the Zebra: You the cat. Alex the Lion: Who's the cat? Marty the Zebra: You the cat. Alex the Lion: Who's the cat? Marty the Zebra: You the cat. Alex the Lion: Who's the cat? Marty the Zebra: You the cat. Alex the Lion: Who's the cat? Marty the Zebra: You the cat. Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?
Skipper the Penguin: You didn't see anything!
(from trailer) Melman the Giraffe: (shouts) Ahhhhh! Nature! It's all over me! Get it off!
Skipper the Penguin: Hey, Quadruped. Sprechen Sie Englisch? Marty the Zebra: I sprechen. Skipper the Penguin: What continent is this? Marty the Zebra: Manhattan. Skipper the Penguin: Hoover Dam! We're still in New York! Dive! Dive! Dive!
Mason the Chimpanzee: (Mason and Phil have just escaped) I hear Tom Wolfe's speaking at Lincoln Center. Mason the Chimpanzee: (Phil signs frantically) Well, of course we're going to throw poo at him!
Mason the Chimpanzee: (Mason and Phil are surrounded by police) If you have any poo, fling it now.
(from trailer) Julian: They're just a bunch of pansies. (pause) Let's go meet the pansies!
Kowalski the Penguin: (the penguins are in Antarctica and there is just a lot of wind and a big mound of snow) Well, this sucks!
(holding up book titled, "To Serve Lemurs") Random Lemur: It's a cookbook!
Gloria the Hippo: Where are the people? Skipper the Penguin: We killed them and ate their livers. (pause) Skipper the Penguin: Gotcha there, didn't I?
Julian: (singing) I like to move it, move it / She like to move it, move it / He like to move it, move it / You like to... *move it*!
Julian: Shh! We're hiding. Everyone be quiet. That includes me. Shh! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again...
Alex the Lion: Live in a hut, wipe yourself with a leaf kind of wild? Julian: Who wipes? Gloria the Hippo: Oy weh... Julian: Oy weh! Maurice: Oy weh, everybody!
Mort the Mouse Lemur: I'm steak! Me me me me me me me me!
(Marty the Zebra and Alex the Lion running towards each other on the beach in slow motion with arms outstretched) Marty the Zebra: Alex! Alex the Lion: Marty! Marty the Zebra: Alex! Alex the Lion: Marty! Marty the Zebra: Alex! Alex the Lion: (angrily) Marty! Marty the Zebra: (afraid) Alex? Alex the Lion: (real-time) Marty! Marty the Zebra: Ah! Alex!
Julian: What is a bite on the butt amongst friends? (shakes his tail at Maurice) Here, give me a nibble.
(repeated line) Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?
Skipper the Penguin: Remember, cute and cuddly, boys. Cute and cuddly.
(from trailer) Gloria the Hippo: Don't make me come up there, I'll get the whuppin on both o' y'all.
Maurice: Where are you giants from? Alex the Lion: We're from New York. Julian: All hail the New York Giants!
Alex the Lion: Shut up Spalding!
Alex the Lion: If we're in San Francisco, then Shamu is here! I can't top the smiling whale!
Maurice: What if Mr Alex is even worse then the Foosa? I'm tellin' you, that dude just gives me the heebiedabajeebies! Julian: Maurice, you did not raise your hand. Therefore, your heinous comment will be stricken from the record. Does anyone else have the heebie-jeebies? No? Good. So shut up.
Julian: (to Mort) Oh, shut up, you're so annoying!
Alex the Lion: (to Marty) You know your black and white stripes? They cancel each other out!
Marty the Zebra: You're biting my butt! Alex the Lion: (with Marty's butt in his mouth) No, I'm not.
Marty the Zebra: (after riding with dolphins) Yeah! You don't see that on Animal Planet.
Skipper the Penguin: We've been ratted out, boys.
Maurice: Do not make fun of the freaks.
Julian: Who'd like a cookie ?
(Marty the Zebra and Alex the Lion running towards each other on the beach in slow motion with arms outstretched and Chariots of Fire music) Alex the Lion: Marty! Marty the Zebra: Alex! Alex the Lion: Marty! Marty the Zebra: Alex! Alex the Lion: Marty! Marty the Zebra: Alex! Alex the Lion: (angrily) Marty! Marty the Zebra: (afraid) Alex? Alex the Lion: (real-time) Marty! Marty the Zebra: Oh, Sugar Honey Ice Tea!
Alex the Lion: I'm gonna kill you, Marty! Marty the Zebra: Take it easy! Take it easy! Alex the Lion: And then string you! Marty the Zebra: Calm down! Alex the Lion: Then take you up and clone you! Alex the Lion: And kill all your clones!
Julian: (Mort grabs Julian's foot) What did I tell you about the feet! Maurice didn't I tell him about the feet! Maurice: He did tell you about the feet. Mort the Mouse Lemur: (cutely) He he!
(Maurice just told Marty that he was steak) Marty the Zebra: Oh, c'mon! Do I look like a steak to you? Alex the Lion: Yeah! Marty the Zebra: See I told you I don't look like no... what?
Melman the Giraffe: I've divided my will into three equal parts. (wave washes against the shore, destroying 1/3 of the will) Melman the Giraffe: Oh, sorry Alex.
Julian: All we have to do is wait until they are in a deep sleep... (10-second pause) Julian: (shouts) How long is this going to take?
Julian: Does anybody else have the heebee-jeebees?
Melman the Giraffe: Hey, Alex. Psst, Alex. Alex. Alex the Lion: What is it, Melman? Melman the Giraffe: OK, you know how I have to get up every two hours because of my bladder infection and go for a wee? Well, this time I was walking past Marty's pen, and usually I dont look in it, but this time I was walkin' past, and I? Alex the Lion: What, Melman? What is it? Melman the Giraffe: It's Marty... He's gone! Melman the Giraffe: (looks at hole in ground the penguins have dug) How long has he been working on this? (shouts gently down hole) Marty. Marty!
Melman the Giraffe: (Melman presents Marty with a gift-wrapped thermometer) Marty the Zebra: Ah, this is great! Thanks! (he puts it in his mouth and poses) Melman the Giraffe: I really wanted to give you a personal present. Do you know that was my first rectal thermometer? Marty the Zebra: (Marty spits it out and retches)
Gloria the Hippo: Go talk to him. Alex the Lion: But I gave him a snow globe! I can't beat that!
Alex the Lion: Look, I say we just ask these bozos where the people are. Julian: (from the ground underneath Alex) Hallo! Yes, we bozos have the people of course! (points up at skeleton dangling from tree, wearing a parachute harness) Julian: Don't you just love the people? Not a very lively bunch, though...