Love Life
2001
(Scott tries to pick up a girl in a disco) Scott Fields: Er, you don't happen to know how much polar bears weight? Unknown Girl on the dance-floor -looks belwildered: Polar bears? Scott Fields: Polar bears! Unknown Girl on the dance-floor: No. Scott Fields: Neither do I, but it breaks the ice.
(Scott chatting up Allison and Debbie in a disco) Scott Fields: Debbie? That's an amazing coincidence. That was my grandfather's name. Debbie - surprised: Your grandfather's name? Scott Fields: Yes, yes, General Debbie they called him. During the Upper Congo War, yes.
(Scott trying to impress Allison and Debbie in a taxi-cab, later) Scott Fields: See over there, where the Texaco garage is? My grandfather's castle used to be there. (ALLISON and DEBBIE laugh.) Debbie: What? Scott Field: They shipped it brick by brick from Ozynekimaka,near Tokyo. Yeah, they paid half a Million Pounds for that. Of course, I'm lying throu' my teeth. Allison: Of course, of course. Scott Fields: Talking of which, that reminds me of the time I met Bill Clinton sometime at the mother's union annual meeting. (DEBBIE looks impressed. ALLISON looks out of the window in disbelief) Debbie: You met Bill Clinton? Scott Fields: Yes, he said to me: "Scott", he said, "that suit is terrible. If I see you in that again I'm gonna kill you". I said: "the day you kill me is the day I die." (They all laugh.) Scott Fields: That was terrible but what can you do?