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A Little Harmless Murder

2003

Karen: Oh, and by the way, when Jerry called you a cacophonous, mongoloid tally-whacker, he didn't mean that as a compliment.

Paul: Paul quitting his job at the Blind Shop. Paul: Anyway, I was getting really tired of having to say, "No, we don't sell Playboy in Braille."

Paul: Excuse me, sir, I was wondering if you could do me the great favor of killing me. Life Insurance Salesman: Uhhh... no... but, could I interest you in some premium life insurance? Paul: No! A fate worse than death! Stay away from me, Dark Angel, you frighten me!

Paul: How about this? We get a power drill, and make a hole in my belly button. Then we get two fishing rods, and use the hooks to just pull out my intestines! OK, thanks anyways... buh-bye. This is harder than it looks. They make it look so easy on TV.

Paul: Can't a guy get himself killed around here?

Paul: Nobody'll kill me. Maybe I should offer them money. George: Oh, no, don't do that - too expensive. Most people charge an arm and a leg, so to speak.

George: Who was that? Paul: Oh, just the director. You know, the obligatory cameo. Egomaniac!

George: Death ain't 'livin' la vida loca.'

Karen: I was thinking we could get back together. I can live with the fact that you're not much of a man. So, how about it then?

Paul: So, about us getting back together. I'd rather spend the weekend drinking turpentine and rolling around in cow manure.

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