Late Night Poker
1999
Jesse May: There are more shades at this table than a lamp convention.
Jesse May: He's just found out that not all trappers wear fur hats.
Jesse May: He's now like a mouse running through a maze looking for cheese.
Jesse May: He's got some chips and now he's going to chirp.
Jesse May: The only thing that can overcome luck is time.
Jesse May: And if my granny had wheels she'd be a trolley cart!
Jesse May: Good evening, I'm Jesse May. Welcome to Late Night Poker.
Jesse May: With me tonight is Nic Szeremeta, editor of Poker Monthly Magazine.
Joe Beevers: Yeah, but he's Irish.
Jesse May: It's entirely possible that those glasses are opaque.
Victoria Coren: I go all in... what the hell!
Jesse May: Has anyone here established any sort of credentials or methods to beat Phil Hellmuth?
Jesse May: One person dying to see the hand played was Liam - he couldn't get hurt!
Jesse May: Three players left by definition only. Liam Flood's stack is shorter than a single espresso!
Jesse May: Phil looks like he would rather be anywhere than at the table with this Frenchman!
Jesse May: It's impossible to hide at the poker table. I mean, these guys are just letting it all hang out!
Jesse May: Well, Phil actually got away with one!
Phil Hellmuth Jr.: Yikes! I'm showing too much information... nice hand. How do you say "trap" in French? I was trying to trap you!
Steve Liu: Too early!
Simon Trumper: You must have two pair. Korosh Arshadnejad: You were winning. Simon Trumper: It doesn't matter.
Simon Trumper: You did nothing wrong. You did the right thing at the right time against the wrong player... with the right hand.
Korosh Arshadnejad: You're such a marvellous reader of hands. I'm going to embarrass you now.
Simon Trumper: There's one thing I've got that nobody else has got at this table. Ross Boatman: A bald patch?
Simon Trumper: I said I wouldn't do it unless I had a hand... I had a hand.
Jesse May: In poker when nobody has anything, the guy who bluffs first usually wins.
Korosh Arshadnejad: They call it "Bollywood" in India. What do they call it in China?
Jesse May: Aces has found cowboys!
Jesse May: Dave shows almost no emotion at being taken out of this tournament on a 15: 1 shot!
Jesse May: Like you say, it's very tough to outplay someone, but much tougher when you're playing from behind.
Jesse May: He's spinning one red chip and a pile of dreams.
Jesse May: You know, Jon Shoreman's worked so hard on this Late Night Poker series. I think he's had two 3rd place finishes, but he's never made the jump for the hump.
Jesse May: Manuela says "No more diamonds" - they're not her best friend today!
Jesse May: As Dave says, he calls like a lion; not like a lamb.
Dave Ulliott: Did anyone see me win that pot? Maybe someone in the audience. The fish is back!
Jesse May: Two pairs for Dave - Aces and Queens - beats Mike's Five high!
Jesse May: Just goes to show you - you can do everything right in poker, and sometimes it just doesn't help!
Phil Hellmuth Jr.: Who called time on me? Thomas Kremser: I did. Phil Hellmuth Jr.: I've never heard of a floorman calling time before. Is that normal over here?
Mike Magee: Did you have anything? Jon Shoreman: Four threes.
Mike Magee: I thought I played bloody well!
Jesse May: Usually you see a little more exuberance from Marty. He's the sort of player that will run around the table with his fists in the air!
Jesse May: They're folding like ten-pins!
Jesse May: King Seven of Hearts - they don't even have a name for that hand, do they? Nic Szeremeta: Not that I'm aware.
Jesse May: Don't see much fear in those eyes, do you, Nic? Nic Szeremeta: None at all.
Jesse May: Sure enough he's going to stick Six's in the muck, where they belong!
Jesse May: That's about as rare as sunshine in London!