A Kind of Magic

(Ringo and Linda are about to perform a sword trick on Wayne) Wayne: Has anyone done this trick before? Ringo: Er, King Henry the Eighth tried it on a couple of his wives!

(Ringo is about to demonstrate his ability at ESP) Wayne: (spotting the eye holes in Ringo's blindfold) Oi! Ringo: I've been meaning to tell you about the moths in this hat! Sorry about that.

Ringo: I remember the last time we did this - it was the end of the series and nobody told me. I spent 8 weeks in my hat thinking 'this audience is quiet!' I wasn't too worried, though, cause you've waited 8 weeks for a laugh before now! Wayne: Oi!

(Wayne is holding a man's credit card) Wayne: What am I holding, Ringo? Ringo: I'd rather not say! Wayne: Come on, Ringo, It's your flexible friend! Ringo: That's why I'd rather not say!

Wayne: Is this your card? Credit Card Owner: Yes. Wayne: Thank you. (Goes to pocket the card) Ringo: I wouldn't put that in there, Wayne, it expired last month! Wayne: (looking at the card) So it did! (Wayne hands the card back)

(Wayne removes the blindfold from Ringo) Ringo: Thanks, mate. By the way, Wayne - you wouldn't *really* have hit me with that hammer, would you? (Ringo ducks into the hat as Wayne grabs the hammer)

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