Kicking and Screaming
1995
Max: That was more of a yield at that stop sign. Grover: I broke, thanks. Max: No, it was more of a yield.
Otis: I put my hand in my mouth after I touched all of that money. Could that be bad? Max: Of course. That's how germs are spread.
Kate: I'm going to be 17 tomorrow. Max: Wow, now you can read Seventeen magazine and get all the references.
Grover: Wouldn't that have been embarrasing if I had worn my goatee tonight?
Otis: It looks like a chicken wing or a cheese fry.
Otis: It was arousing... violently arousing. Chet: Otis, did you even read the book? Otis: Yes... no.
Max: I'm too nostalgic. I'll admit it. Skippy: We graduated four months ago. What can you possibly be nostalgic for? Max: I'm nostalgic for conversations I had yesterday. I've begun reminiscing events before they even occur. I'm reminiscing this right now. I can't go to the bar because I've already looked back on it in my memory... and I didn't have a good time.
Grover: Ok, the way I see it, if we were an old couple, dated for years, graduated, away from all these scholastic complications, and I reached over and kissed you, you wouldn't say a word, you'd be delighted, probably, but if I was to do that now it'd be quite forward, and if I did it the first time we ever met you probably would hit me. Jane: What do you mean? Grover: I just wish we were an old couple so I could do that.
Max: What I use to able to pass off as a bad summer could now potentially turn into a bad life.
Max: Are you wearing mascara? Otis: No... yes.
Grover: Gotta go sleep with a freshman. Max: Yeah, me too.
Max: Is that a pajama top? Otis: No... Yes.
Chet: How do you make God laugh? Make a plan.
Chet: If Plato is a fine red wine, then Aristotle is a dry martini.
Otis: Cool! A dictionary! I'm gonna look up blowjob.
Guy at party: I'll tell you the worst part about losing a foot.
Max: You have a drinking problem. Get help!
Jane: Sometimes you can be such a child. Grover: Yeah, but if I as a child you'd find that endearing.
(Otis comes out of the bathroom pulling up his zipper) Max: That is a bad habbit. You really need to finish that in the bathroom.
(At the airport) Max: Don't check your bags, they'll just lose them.
(With Otis at the airport) Max: (To Grover) This is useless. We just have to walk away like mothers in nursery school.
Otis: I think I'm gonna switch back to briefs.
Otis: There's also that dark side to the nose ring.
Girl at bar: Well my brother's gay so... I know!
Otis: Cookie Man?
Skippy: I begged you not to get off Prozac.
Grover: Prague... you'll come back a bug...
Grover: Oh, I've been to Prague. Well, I haven't "been to Prague" been to Prague, but I know that thing, that, "Stop shaving your armpits, read the Unbearable Lightness of Being, date a sculptor, now I know how bad American coffee is thing... " Jane: They have good beer there. Grover: "... now I know how bad American beer is thing."