Kicking & Screaming
Phil Weston: I was born a baby...
Phil Weston: You're my assistant. You're supposed to back me up and go get me juiceboxes whenever I want. Now go get me a juicebox! Mike Ditka: DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO? Phil Weston: I'm talkin' to the juicebox guy! Mike Ditka: You're crazy! Phil Weston: I'm not crazy, I'm just thirsty! Mike Ditka: OH, YOU GO TO HELL! Phil Weston: No, you go to hell, and while you're there, why don't you grab me a juicebox!
Phil Weston: What is that haunting aroma?
Mike Ditka: Way to go, Bing Bong!
Ann Hogan: Hi, Mr.Ditka. I was wondering - my son byong-sun is a little shy, so could I get an autograph? Mike Ditka: Yeah, sure, how do you spell it? Ann Hogan: B-Y-... Mike Ditka: I think I got it. (gives paper) Donna Jones: (walking away looking at autograph) Bing-bong?
Mike Ditka: (team is doing push-ups) If you guys were the Bears, I'd fine you $10,000 apiece.
Phil Weston: I'm angry! I'm spitting angry! I'm like a tornado of anger, swirling about!
Phil Weston: Well, if it isn't Porkface Jones. I can eat a box of cookies tonight. Can you do that? No. Because you're nothin' but a fart-faced kid. (kid starts attacking him) (shouts) Get him off me! (someone pulls kid off) That's like the little jackal from hell!
Buck Weston: We've got balls! Phil Weston: And vitamins! Buck Weston: But mostly balls! Phil Weston: (with all the kids from the Tigers and Gladiators teams) (shout) And vitamins!
Phil Weston: They're like 4-foot whirling dervishes. I don't even know what a whirling dervish is but that's what they're like.
Ann Hogan: You ease up on him. Phil Weston: You just ease up there on your corduroy jacket.
Byong Sun: Whoo! Lets get electric in the air!
Jim Davidson 'The Captain': (after the Tigers have arrived to the soccer field from the butcher shop and are covered in blood) You know, actually one of my kids forgot his socks so we forfeit; yeah, we forfeit! Jim Davidson 'The Captain': (turns and starts sprinting to their cars) Run to the car kids; run quickly to the car!