Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie
2002
(the French Peas sing a song about their seafood restaurant) Peas: Steak! Steak! Eat it, eat it! Shrimp! Shrimp! Need it, need it! Steak and shrimp! Steak and shrimp! Got to have the steak and shrimpy! Aw, aw aw ee aw, aw aw ee aw...
Jonah: I am not going to Ninevah!
Pirate Pa: Somebody up there must be really upset with somebody down here.
Pirate Pa: (about storm, to everyone) The way I see it, someone up there is really upset with someone down here. It could be any one of us! I have my suspicions! But we won't know for sure until we figure it out scientifically. Okay, men, (shouts) Go fish!
(Bob is trying to drive and is irritated by the kids' constant singing) Bob the Tomato: How about for the next song I drive into the river? Kids: Yeah! (singing) Kids: Drive into the river, Bob! Drive into the river, Bob!
Dad: And I need to use your phone to call... Bob the Tomato: ... a tow truck. Dad: ... my wife.
Phillipe Pea: (seeing porcupine needle in Bob's back) Would you prefer poking or non-poking? Bob the Tomato: (sarcastic laugh) Non.
Jonah: (to God) Perhaps you've never been to Ninevah! Well, of course you haven't! A god like you would never go to a place like Ninevah!
Angus: There's nothing like a cruise to clean the sand out of your wicket, ay?
Pirate Pa: And besides, we've never sailed before. Ever. So the answer is no. Jonah: Money is no object.
Larry: (looking through telescope) Thar she blows! Mr Lunt: Where? Larry: Right there! Over by the barbecue! Mr Lunt: (picks up ping-pong ball) Got it!
Self-Help Tape Voice: You are a skilled metal worker. Khalil: I am a skilled metal worker? Oh, I did not know that!
Khalil: Now you are sad, my friend. Something about Ninevah makes you sad? Jonah: Oh, I don't want to talk about it. Khalil: Oh, you do not have to tell me. Because I already know. Jonah: You do? Khalil: Oh, yes. There is a woman in Ninevah, is there not? A beautiful young asparagus? She is waiting for you, but your job is in the way. Her father is the head of an international band of camel thieves. Today you sail out to Tarshish to deliver a message to the camel thieves, but in the process will break the heart of the woman you love! (pause) Insight runs very deep in my family.
Jonah: I'm afraid the only thing left is to be thrown into the sea. Larry: Oh, you don't have to do that! We've got a plank! You can just walk off! Jonah: Yes, thank you. You're too kind.
Pirate Pa: Normally you'd be entitled to a refund, but under the circumstances, y'know, with you dying and all... Jonah: No, I don't suppose a refund would do me much good now, would it?
Pirate Pa: Bring out the cannon! Mr Lunt: We ain't got no ammo! (Larry spots garden items) Larry: Oh, yes, we do!
City Official, Crazy Jopponian: (after Jonah says he was swallowed by whale) How do we know if he is telling the truth, sire? King Twistomer: Smell him. City Official, Crazy Jopponian: Excuse me, sire? King Twistomer: Smell him. (official smells Jonah and faints)
Jonah: (to Khalil) Well, I did my job. I warned them they would be punished, and now we're going to watch them get wiped off the face of the earth! (whispers) I picked a safe distance so we won't get singed.
Jonah: We're going to be digested! Do you know what that means? Khalil: Of course! Digestion runs very deep in my family.
Jonah: The message is... STOP IT!
Mr Nezzer: Are you guys still doing that "pirate" thing? Mr Lunt: Argh! Watch your tongue, matey! Or we'll... what'll we do? Larry: Nothing. We're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. Mr Lunt: Oh. Argh! You got off easy today!
(as Bob dodges obstacles) Dad: Tree!... Cabin!... Underwear!
Mr Lunt: Remember that time we did that one thing with that one guy? Pa Grape: Oh, do I ever. Larry: I remember it like it was yesterday.
Jonah: I bring you a Message From the Lord Crowd: (Gasps) Jonah: Oh, it's a message of encouragement. Crowd: Oh.
Jonah: Sounds like a standard turn and repent to me.
Mr Lunt: You are a cheating buccaneer! Larry: How am I supposed to cheat at Go Fish? (pause) Mr Lunt: I don't know.
Junior: What did he learn? Pa Grape: The question is, "What did YOU learn?"
Jonah: Something touched me!
Pa Grape: What you need is a little compassion. Larry: And maybe some scampi.
Bob the Tomato: Then the asparagus hit me in the head with a guitar...
Khalil: I am a caterpillar. Well, that's not entirely true. My mother was a caterpillar, my father was a worm, but I'm okay with that now.
(during the closing credits song, Larry threatens to leave early) Larry: I'm gonna go home and take a nap! Pa Grape: Come on, we have contractual obligations to finish the song. Mr Lunt: They paid for a full 79 minutes of entertainment, pal! Get back in the booth! Larry: Wake me up for the prequel! (Larry leaves) Pa Grape: Oh, come on! We were just starting to have fun! (laughs) Oh man, I need a tums. (Pa leaves) Mr Lunt: What? What, are we done? You mean that's it? Zim-bom-a-loo-bop-a-lop-bam-bing?... Hey, hey, ho ho ho, Hey hey, ho ho ho, hey hey... If you need me, I'll be on the porch.
(one of the outtakes, as Dad dodges obstacles while driving) Dad: Tree!... Cabin!... Larry-Boy! (the van suddenly runs into a clothes line on which Larry-Boy is hanging) Larry: Hi, guys! What's up?
Pirate Pa, Larry, Mr Lunt: ("The Credits Song") This is the song that runs under the credits. These are the credits, so this is where it goes. Has nothing to do with the movie so we'll say "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!... "
(outtake; Jonah is trying to sleep but is interrupted by the Self Help Tape) Self-Help Tape Voice: You are so vain. I bet you think this movie's about you. Don't you. Don't you. Jonah: Ah, good one, boys...
(outtake) Self-Help Tape Voice: Knock knock. Jonah: Uh... who's there? Self-Help Tape Voice: Big goofy asparagus in a turban. Jonah: Big goofy asparagus in a turban wh... oh, ha ha ha, very funny!