Jeremiah
2002
Soldier: I don't believe in God. Mr Smith: I didn't either. I don't think He noticed.
Rachel: Mr Smith? Kurdy: It's a long story Mr Smith: No it's not. It's a proper name. First name Mister, last name Smith. Not a title. See? Max, seven sentences. Jeremiah: Rachel... Rachel: *Miss* Rachel. Kurdy: See what you started? Mr Smith: Is it my fault I'm a trend setter?
Kurdy: Can I ask you a question? What got you started on this whole "God talks to me" stuff in the first place? Mr Smith: The first time I heard God speak... was kind of hard to know exactly what happened, because I was kind of dead at the time. I'd just given up, okay? I mean I... It had been a rough life and it wasn't getting any easier, and I just decided enough was enough. So I stood in the middle of this bridge. I said "I'm tired and I'm done, now." And I jumped. The reason I chose that way was because, I can't swim for shit and I wanted to make sure I got the job done right, you know? I remember I was afraid to open my mouth. Finally, I forced it open and let the water into my lungs. The next thing I knew, I was sinking, and it was quiet... muffled... peaceful. It was like I was going to sleep. Then I heard this voice say "Not yet. Not yet. There's work to be done." Then I got mad, and I said "Screw you!" Because I knew who it was. When you're that close to death, you know what that voice is. I said "Screw you! You ran out on us! You let pain and death into the world and now look at us - look at what we've become, what you let happen." The voice said, "I know. I know. I've been away too long, but I'm back now. My voice will be heard. You will be my voice." And the next thing I knew, I was awake on the shore and there were people around saying they saw a wave wash me up and just leave me there - scared the hell out of them. Kurdy: Why, they thought you were dead? Mr Smith: No. Kurdy: So what's so scary about seeing a wave wash somebody on shore? Mr Smith: (pause) It was a lake. Kurdy: (look of disbelief that changes to one of amusement) So, did he say anything else to you that first day? Mr Smith: Yeah. Just two words and I got the impression they were real important. But I still haven't been able to figure out what they mean or what they have to do with anything else. Kurdy: Oh, let me guess, "Jesus Saves." Mr Smith: (looks frustrated) Kurdy: Alright, I got it: (chuckles) "Happy Birthday." Mr Smith: (ignores him) Kurdy: Alright Smith, what were the two words God said to you that first day? Mr Smith: "Fractal Theory." Kurdy: What the hell is "fractal theory"? Mr Smith: How the hell am I supposed to know? I'm just God's sock puppet, ok? He shoves his hand up my ass and words come out the other end. (pause) Who knew math was involved? (walks away frustrated)