Jarhead
2005
Troy: Welcome to The Suck.
Sgt. Siek: I love this job. I thank God for every fucking day he gives me in the corps, oorah.
D.I. Fitch: And why the fuck did you join the Marines? Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: I got lost on the way to college, sir.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: I am 20 years old was and stupid enough to sign a contract.
Troy: Fuck politics. We're here. All the rest is bullshit.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Every war is different, every war is the same.
Kruger: (after being offered nuts on an airplane) Excuse me, are these hot nuts? Stewardess: No. They're room temperature Kruger: (takes some nuts) Well, maybe later you can come by and warm up my nuts. Stewardess: I'm sorry, I don't like the small ones.
Sgt. Siek: There is no bugle tryout! You sizzle dick motherfucker!
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: (the Doors' "Break On Through" being played on a flying by helicopter) That's Vietnam music... can't we get our own music?
Cortez: Whatever, you squishy-faced retard. Fowler: (dead serious) Don't ever call me squishy-face!
Fowler: (in showers, pointing at another marine) Hey, look! It's a cock, but smaller!
Sgt. Siek: (Sgt. Seik is directing the recruits on how to judge distances) Use something that you know the distance of, compare how many of them would make up the unknown distance and multiply. Do *not* use your dicks, an inch and a half into six-hundred yards: I can't count that high!
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: I was hooked.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: (on why he joined the USMC) Sir, I got lost on the way to college, sir!
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: I want the pink mist.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: We are still in the desert
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Whatever else he may do with his life-build a house, love a woman, change his son's diaper-he will always be a jarhead. And all the jarheads killing and dying, they will always be me. We are still in the desert.
Sgt. Siek: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the baddest mother fucker in the valley
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: You poor bastard. I bet your recruiter promised you a whole wide world of pussy, huh? Kruger: Fuckin' eh. Cocksucker knew the price of every whore from Langholm to Stockholm. Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: And here we are - no pussy and a thousand miles. Kruger: Fucked by the green weenie again! Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Well, what would you be doing if you were a civilian? Staying up late, jacking off, playing Metroid - trying to get to that ninth level? Troy: You know what happens when you get there? (laughs) Nothing. You just start all over again.
D.I. Fitch: Jesus Joseph and doggy-style Mary!
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: My mouth was now a "comm recepticle".
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: For most problems the Marine is issued a solution. If ill, go to sickbay. If wounded, call a Corpsman. If dead, report to graves registration. If losing his mind, however, no standard solution exists.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: (seeing the flames of the burning oil fields) The Earth is bleeding.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: The Drill Instructor looks fabulous in his uniform, sir!
(in a gas-repellant suit) Troy: (in a Darth Vader voice) Luke, come over to the Dark Side.
Kruger: (referring to photo of Swoff's girlfriend) I'm saving that one for later!
Lieutenant Colonel Kazinski: You know, I should really retire because I can't hear a fuckin' thing!
Sgt. Siek: The Bible says thou shalt not kill. Now hear this... FUCK THAT SHIT.
Sgt. Siek: You have been taught your entire lives, "Thou Shalt Not Kill". Well, fuck that shit!
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Field fuck!
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: We call this friendly fire, friendly fucking, or getting friendly fucked.