Jackie Chan Adventures

2000

Uncle: You forget to make coffee this morning! Coffee is the only thing keeping Uncle's ancient heart beating! You want dead Uncle?

(after the Dark Hand arrives to get the tiger talisman) Jade: What are we gonna do? Jackie Dark: Laugh like clowns while they beg for mercy. Jackie Light: RUN! This is no place for children!

Jackie: Jade, these are my friends. Jade: Your friends knocked you out and took you to their secret underground base? Jackie: Uhm... yes. Jade: America is SO cool!

Jackie Chan: Captain Black, I thought all Dark Hand matters had been reassigned to Section 12? Capt Black: That may be so, but I'm not gonna sit pretty while the Dark Hand strolls into my backyard to had a hall pass to a hobgoblin. Jade: Captain Black is in the house.

Finn: (grabbing talisman bag) : We'll take those. Chou: Who the heck are you? Ratso: Oooh, I know! He's the drummer from KISS!

(Jackie has just been rendered mute, and is mouthing at Uncle) Uncle: (smacks him) I cannot read your lips! Your accent is too thick!

Jade: Have the movies taught you nothing? Whoever goes to get the firewood is always the creeping terror's first victim! Jackie: So THAT'S what happened to the other little girl I sent to get firewood...

(Finn: "That'll teach you to mess with Finn 2.0." Uncle zaps him with his magic blowfish.) Uncle: And that will teach you to mess with Uncle, Original Recipe.

(Shen Du has taken possession of Jade's body at an amusement park and is posing for a photo) Melvin Moose: Duh, smile for the camera. Shen Du (in Jade's body) : Soon, I will devour your soul. Melvin Moose: (gasp)

(Uncle has accidently placed the spirits of Jackie and Jade in the wrong bodies) Uncle: I told you it was complicated!

Jackie Chan: (In Jade's body, pointing to Jade's fringe) Jade, How do you keep this out of your eyes?

Tohru: If I was a clone, would I know?

Capt Black, Jackie, Jade: Tohru has a mommy?

(repeated line) Uncle: One more thing...

Uncle: Magic must defeat magic. Future Jade: Dragon's breath is magic, duh! Uncle: Jackie, who is smarty-pants know-it-all good chi wizard who looks like Jade? (realizes it's Adult Jade) Ay ya!

Tohru: (speaking like Jade) I'll be stuck in Jade mode, forever? eeww. Jade: (speaking like Uncle) You would rather have Uncle's chi? I cannot stop thinking about digestion!

(after the Ox talisman turns her into a musclebound powerhouse) Jade: Whoa... Talismans. They do a body *good.*

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