Jack of All Trades
2000
Jack Stiles: It's a beautiful day, and the scent of violence is in the air.
Mrs Emilia Smythe Rothschild: Ten of your American dollars says God is a woman. Jack Stiles: Which explains why nothing we do ever pleases Her. Mrs Emilia Smythe Rothschild: And also explains why we're no longer covered in fur and hunting our neighbors for sport. Jack Stiles: Next you'll tell me God's British. Mrs Emilia Smythe Rothschild: I'm trying to break you in slowly, Jack.
Jack Stiles: (after crashing through a stone wall) I would have knocked, but my fists had other plans.
Jack Stiles: Well, yank my doodle!
Thomas Jefferson: Jack, if you don't keep your hands off my niece, I'll have George Washington cut off your cherry tree. Jack Stiles: (thinking) Good thing I don't have a cherry tree!
Jack Stiles: Why am I doing all the work while you sit there drinking tea? Mrs Emilia Smythe Rothschild: Because tea time happens to be a time honored British tradition. When it's burger time I'll pedal.
Dr Benjamin Franklin: In the name of Democracy, I demand that you let me go! Blackbeard the Pirate: Shut up, Piggy! Dr Benjamin Franklin: How about giving me a six-course meal and a washmaiden instead?