It Started with Eve
1941
(first lines) Newspaper Editor: Ain't it pretty! (shows staff the newspaper's front page mock-up with screamer headline "JONATHAN REYNOLDS DEAD")
(examing old newspaper photographs of Jonathan Reynolds Sr) First assistant editor: Well, his inheritance tax ought to make the country even. Second assistant editor: He was born too late. Two hundred years ago, he would have been a pirate - Captain Kidd, himself! Third assistant editor: Look at that stomach. I saw him at a banquet once. He didn't order a steak - he ordered a cow!
(praying) Newspaper Editor: As long as he has to go, please let him go no later than 9: 20 - that dirty Herald has been getting all the breaks (phone rings) Newspaper Editor: Yeah? What do you mean he isn't dead yet? Frank, I gotta have some action!
(to his dying father) Jonathan Reynolds Jr.: Oh, say, the fishing in Mexico - there's nothing like it. It's not really fishing... it's kind of big game hunting. They have fish with teeth and horns - a throwback to the buffalo. You go out in a boat and the fish charge at you. You just got to catch 'em in self-defense. You and I and two machine guns are going down there next month.
(two tycoons leave Anne a paltry tip) Anne Terry: This must be a new five-dollar coin they're putting out... it looks like the same old dime to me.
(Doctor Harvey disposes of Jonathan Sr's forbidden cigar) Jonathan Reynolds: Hey, that's a two-dollar cigar! Dr Harvey: Where'd you get it? Anne Terry: Don't look at me - I smoke a pipe.
(Jonny drags Anne off the train to pose as his fiancee again, leaving her friends open-mouthed) Jonathan Reynolds Jr.: Come on, I'll give you another fifty dollars! Jenny: Well, what do you know! Jackie Donovan: Don't worry, Jenny, it's platonic. He wants her for his father.
Jonathan Reynolds: The trouble with being sick is you have to associate with doctors.
Jackie Donovan: I was just telling you about the fellow I used to go with. Turns out he was fickle - he married his fiancee.
Jonathan Reynolds Jr.: Oh, I think you have a nice room. It's... different. Anne Terry: Uh-huh. On a clear day you can see all the way across it.
Roberts: Has Doctor Harvey hidden my cigars? Roberts: Yes, sir. Jonathan Reynolds: Have you hidden my cigars from Doctor Harvey? Roberts: Yes, sir.
Dr Harvey: I have a pleasant surprise! Jonathan Reynolds: Are you leaving?
(Jonny tries to convince his father that Anne hates him) Jonathan Reynolds: What did she call me? Jonathan Reynolds Jr.: A pompous, self-indulgent, overbearing imitation of a dictator.
(Jonny angrily chases Anne around his living room) Anne Terry: Going around pinching people at your age. Jonathan Reynolds Jr.: When I get three seconds older, I'm going to start punching people.
(Jonny is still chasing Anne around his living room) Jonathan Reynolds Jr.: If you hear something snap, don't turn around - it'll be your neck.
(a waiter brings Jonathan Sr an enormous, fruit-fillled cocktail) Anne Terry: What's that? Jonathan Reynolds: It's a Reynolds Special. Anne Terry: Oh, but you shouldn't be... what's in it? Jonathan Reynolds: Oh, oh, nothing but, ah, coconut milk and, ah, vegetable juices. Doctor Harvey orders it for me. It's horrible. Anne Terry: Then why do you drink it. Jonathan Reynolds: It reminds me of Doctor Harvey and make me hate him and when I hate him, I feel good.
(Jonny drags Anne off the train yet again) Railway Porter: Lady, the next time you ain't goin' no place, why don't you take a plane!
Anne Terry: You told me you'd have that picture destroyed! Jonathan Reynolds: Destroyed? If I'd done that, they'd never have seen it. Jonathan Reynolds Jr.: They? Jonathan Reynolds: Those women... those bead-twirlers. They called before they left. Jonathan Reynolds Jr.: They're gone! I mean... they've gone? Jonathan Reynolds: Well, they saw the picture in the paper. They said they were taking the first train to Mexico City. I advised them to take a plane - *quicker*.
(last lines) Jonathan Reynolds Jr.: All right, I'm sorry I pinched you. Anne Terry: Honest? Jonathan Reynolds Jr.: Hm-hmm. Anne Terry: You'll never do it again? Jonathan Reynolds Jr.: Never. Anne Terry: Promise? Jonathan Reynolds Jr.: Hm-hmm. (Jonny leans forward as if to kiss Anne) Anne Terry: JONNY!