I Was a Male War Bride
1949
Lt Kitty Lawrence: He could leave marks on me anytime. I'd bring the stick!
Capt Henri Rochard: I am an alien spouse of female military personnel en route to the United States under public law 271 of the Congress.
Soldier: You're not Mrs Rochard! Capt Henri Rochard: I'm *Mr.* Rochard. Soldier: Well, it's your *wife* who must report here for transportation to Bremerhaven. Capt Henri Rochard: According to the War Department, I *am* my wife. Soldier: You can't be your wife! Capt Henri Rochard: If the American army says I can be my wife, who am I to dispute them?
Lt Catherine Gates: (Rochard is holding a baby for a stranger. His wife and Kitty walk up, both laughing) Ah, Henri, you look so maternal! Lt Kitty Lawrence: What is that? Capt Henri Rochard: A human fire extinguisher. You wanna try it? Lt Kitty Lawrence: Oh, come on. (takes baby andfrowns at its prodigious wetness) Lt Catherine Gates: Aww, he's cute. What's his name? Capt Henri Rochard: Niagara. Lt Kitty Lawrence: (shaking hand dry) Henri, what a thing to do. Lt Catherine Gates: Where's the mother? Capt Henri Rochard: She went to get *more* water. Lt Kitty Lawrence: She ought to get a plumber!