How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
1967
Gertrude Biggley: What's nepotism? J. B. Biggley: That's when your nephew's a damn poop!
Miss Jones: What's your name? J. Pierpont Finch: Finch, F-I-N-C-H. J. Pierpont Finch. Miss Jones: Well, why haven't I seen you before? J. Pierpont Finch: Well, ma'am, I'm not supposed to deliver the executive mail. That's his job. Bud Frump, F-R-U-M-P.
J. B. Biggley: I know blood is thicker than water, but Bud Frump is thicker than anything.
J. B. Biggley: I like the way you thinch, Fink. (Long pause) J. Pierpont Finch: That's "think, Finch."
Hedy LaRue: I have nothing to hide! Rosemary: Yes you do, and you keep it hidden!
(There is music when Finch thinks of Rosemary) J. Pierpont Finch: Can't you hear it? It's all around me, it's like a beautiful pink sky. Rosemary: J. Pierpont Finch, what are you-- J. Pierpont Finch: Rosemary, darling, will you please marry J. Pierpont Finch? Rosemary: NOW I hear it.
J. Pierpont Finch: Just remember, Wally, we're all brothers. J. B. Biggley: Some of us are uncles.
J. Pierpont Finch: Be patient? Don't you realize I've been working here... well, two whole hours now?
J. Pierpont Finch: What are you taking that down in? Hedy LaRue: Long hand. It's safer. I make up for it when I type. J. Pierpont Finch: Oh, you type fast. Hedy LaRue: Like a whiz. Twelve words a minute.
Rosemary: Lunch. J. Pierpont Finch: Huh? Rosemary: I said, "lunch." J. Pierpont Finch: What about "lunch"? Rosemary: I'd love to!
(Song lyrics) Smitty: Now she's thinking: Rosemary: I wish that he were more of a flirt. Smitty: And he's thinking: J. Pierpont Finch: I guess a little flirting won't hurt. Smitty: Now she's thinking: Rosemary: For dinner we could meet. Smitty: And he's thinking: J. Pierpont Finch: We both've gotta eat. Smitty: And she says: Rosemary: (Sneezes) Smitty: And he says: J. Pierpont Finch: Gesundheit... well, it's been a long day.
Mr Twimble: Last month I became a quarter-of-a-century man. J. Pierpont Finch: Oh, that's beautiful, a quarter-of-a-century. Mr Twimble: Quarter-of-a-century. J. Pierpont Finch: How long have you been in the mail room? Mr Twimble: Twenty-five years. It's not easy to get this medal. It takes a combination of skill, diplomacy, and bold caution.
Mr Gatch: Rosemary, seeing you always brightens my day. (He tries to kiss her) Rosemary: Mr Gatch! Mr Gatch: I'm gonna have to stop reading "Playboy."
J. B. Biggley: I realize that I'm the president of this company, the man that's responsible for everything that goes on here. So, I want to state, right now, that anything that happened is not my fault.
J. Pierpont Finch: I feel sorry for men who don't knit, they lead empty lives.
J. Pierpont Finch: An emotional involvement can only lead to getting involved . . . emotionally.
J. Pierpont Finch: This is the secret ingredient: it can't miss, I'm combining greed with sex.
Hedy LaRue: A secretary was ordered to be assigned to you. I'm your assignation.
Miss Jones: Your wife is on line 2, Mr Biggley. J. B. Biggley: Tell her I'm busy, tell her I'm in a meeting, tell her I'm out, damnit, put her on!
Hedy LaRue: It is a far, far better thing I do than I have ever did before.
TV Announcer: A day without a wicket is like a day without sunshine.
J. Pierpont Finch: Mediocrity is not a mortal sin.