How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
2003
Andie: Like, do blondes, like, do they really have more fun?
Andie: True or False: All's fair in love and war. Ben: True. Andie: Great answer. Ben: Good question!
Andie: Our love fern! You let it die! Ben: No, honey, its just sleeping.
Andie: Benny boo boo... boo boo boo!
Ben: Let's take a break because the woman is driving me crazy. Tony: Which woman? Andie or Princess Sophia?
(Andie is holding a tissue in front of Ben's face) Andie: C'mon, blow. Nobody likes a Mr Sniffles. Tony: Yeah, uh, I hate Mr Sniffles.
Andie: Unattached? Ben: Currently. Andie: Likewise. Ben: Surprising. Andie: Psycho? Ben: Rarely, Interested? Andie: Perhaps. Ben: Hungry? Andie: Starving. Ben: Leaving? Andie: Now?
Andie: Does Princess Sophia want to come out and play? Ben: Who's Princess Sophia? (Andie points at his crotch) Andie: Little, big, little, big... I don't know... we will find out! Ben: You can't name my member... Princess Sophia. Andie: Yes, I can! Ben: If you are gonna name my... member, you have to name it something hyper masculine. Something like Spike, or Butch, or Krull the Warrior King!
Tony: It looks like the inside of a raincoat!
DeLauer Security: Look, just give me back the necklace, then you guys can go on and kill each other.
Ben: You're already falling in love with me. Andie: I'm gonna make you wish you were dead.
Thayer: Is she on something? Ben: God I hope so. Andie: Are you saying I'm some kind of mental person?
Ben: That's what I'm talking about. Where's the sexy, cool, fun, smart, beautiful Andie that I knew? The one that wanted to be a serious journalist? You're up, you're down, you're here, you're there, you're like a fricken' one woman circus.
Andie: You can't lose something you never had.
Ben: That's what I was, huh? I was your guinea pig, somebody you can test your theories on. Andie: And I was just a girl somebody picked out in a bar Ben: Yeah, so what, big deal? Hell, now you can even use it as a little twist in your story Andie: Thats a good idea, maybe we should bet on it Ben: You know what, you did your job now Andie Andie: Yes I did Ben: You wanted to lose a guy in 10 days, congratulations you did it. You just lost him Andie: No I didn't Ben, cause you can't lose something you never had!
Michelle Rubin: Why this place? Jeannie Ashcroft: It's perfect. Hi, Ingrid. Mullen's Hostess: Hi. Jeannie Ashcroft: Mullen's is the apres-work watering hole for the upwardly mobile.
Andie: Why do they always forget my bacon? Jeannie Ashcroft: I can't believe you got that guy knocked out. Andie: Only for a few seconds. Lana Jong: Andie, I am loving your notes on this piece. Andie: (with her mouth full) Thank you, Lana. Lana Jong: When are you seeing him again? Andie: Tonight. He's inviting me over to his house for dinner. Lana Jong: Excellent! I've got a feeling about this one. Michelle Rubin: I hate it when she pops her head in like that. Andie: I never noticed it. Lana Jong: A-hem. I heard that. And Andie, tonight take smaller bites. Andie: Thank you, Lana. Michelle Rubin: Oh, my God! Jeannie Ashcroft: Disgusting! I can barely eat over hear. (Andie takes an even bigger bite)
Andie: Hey, listen, Sparky. I have a masters in journalism from Columba, my boss loves me, and if I do it her way for a while, I can write about whatever I want. Ben: Like, shoes?
(Ben is trying to find words to be used as metaphors for diamonds) Ben: How about 'Glitter'? Tony: Thayer's favorite movie. Thayer: It was underrated!
Ben: You see, the key to this game is being able to read people.
Glenda: Now Andie, I hope you know that we expect you to come back here because you have held Ben to his lowest bullshit score since his tonsillectomy and we are thrilled! Jack: LOWEST! Andie: Why were all his other girlfriends bullshit losers? Glenda: What other girlfriends? You are the first girl he ever brought home! Don't you break his heart now!
Andie: (Crying at restaurant after waitress asks if everything is okay) My boyfriend thinks I'm fat! (Flicks food at him) And I can't eat in front of him! I can't eat in front of you! I have to go to the bathroom. Ben: (Receives dirty looks from other customers) I don't thinks she's fat!
(Andie is making Ben's place all girly. She's put "chick" CDs in his CD player) Andie: Sheryl, Tori, Sinead, Jewel, Fiona, Carly... Gang's all here!
Ben: Look, look, look, wait a minute. The one night we even thought about having sex, all right, she up and decides she's going to nickname my... Michelle Rubin: Penis? Ben: Yeah. "Princess Sophia." You want to talk about shooting a man's horse? Whop! Come on!
Andie: I love you Binky... but I don't have to like you right now.
Michelle Rubin: So, tell me, how long have you guys been seeing each other? Andie: Seven days. Michelle Rubin: Seven days. Interesting. Ben: Is that too soon to be seeing a therapist? Andie: Well, Ben, seven days isn't like a lifetime, or anything... Ben: It's like a week.
Sensitive Moviegoer: Now, I'm going to go back inside and finish watching "Sleepless in Seattle". Nobody screw with me.
Tony: Drunk and tone-deaf. Never a good combination.
(first lines) Jeannie Ashcroft: (reading) "And only then will the people of Tajikistan know true and lasting peace." Andie, it's brilliant. It's really moving. But it's never going to appear in Composure Magazine.
(last lines) Ben: Look who made the trip with me. Andie: It's our love fern! Oh, Bennie-boo-boo, boo-boo.