How to Deal
2003
Macon: When I ask you to go out with me this Friday night you're gonna think you're the one asking me because you're gonna say 'yes Macon, I would love to go out with you because I know we'll have a totally great time together. In fact, I'd been hoping you'd ask me all week.' Halley: You wanna go out on a date with me? Macon: See, I told you you'd ask me.
Macon: If you are ready to jump, I will be here to catch you.
Halley: Some people fall in love. I had to crash into it.
Halley: First, you're going to take three steps towards me so you can put your hands on my waist. Then you're going to kiss me in 3... 2... (kisses)
Macon: So I guess you hate me. Halley: I don't hate you, persay. I hate how your hair falls right in front of your face. I hate how you get really quiet when your serious. (macon bites lower lip) and I hate how you bite your lip when you get nervous. Macon: So you hate the way I talk, walk, and look. Halley: And I hate that Jedi Mind trick. I HATE that
Macon: You're going to move closer to me so I can wrap my arms around your waist. And on the count of 3... 2... 1 (kisses) You're a good kisser. Halley: You tricked me. You Jedi Mind Tricked me.
Halley: I imagine star wars figurines must be expensive Macon: I don't have Star Wars figurines... well, not many. But I don't play with them... much.
Macon: Dun, Dun, Dun. Stand back. Leaf man to the rescue. Halley: Where did you get that? Macon: Well you know a guy's gotta pay for gas and bacon burgers somehow right? Halley: And toys because I imagine star wars figurines must get pretty expensive. Macon: I do not have any star wars figurines... well... not many. And I don't play with them... much
Halley: Oh my god, no, no, no, I can not believe I didn't tell you this. The bimbo almost died of strangulation. Her wedding veil took on a life of its own and rebelled, and she had to like claw her way out and you know that woman could claw mom. It was so sad it was like, near death by wedding veil. So tragic isn't it?
Macon: Your afraid to go out with me because you might actually like me? Halley: No... but that's a good theory I guess if you want to protect your fragile male ego because you can't handle rejection.
Halley: Let's just think of the day my parents divorce went through as "Big Ugly Hat Day".
Halley: Oh Macon, I think I like you too much already to actually go out with you. Macon: What kind of logic is that? Halley: It's logically logic. Haven't you ever noticed that when two members of the opposite sex get together eventually someone ends up getting hurt?
Step Mom: Well... look at you Halley Halley: Well, that's hard to do without a mirror isn't it? Step Mom: Honey you keep getting prettier every day Halley: I have no idea how you could say that because you definitely don't see me every day. And yesterday, oh my god I was so ugly and last wed. That sucked too, so it's kind of a day to day thing.
Halley: You have to learn to walk. You have to learn to talk. You have to wear that totally ridiculous hat your grandma bought you. And when you get a little older, even though you get to choose your hats, you don't get to choose what they put in those meatballs in the cafeteria, or when to fall in love. Sometimes stuff happens and you just have to deal.
Grandma Halley: First loves are never really over. Nobody's perfect, Sweetheart. But that doesn't mean it wasn't worth your while.
Halley: The quickest way to ruin a relationship with someone is to actually try to have a relationship with them.