Houseguest
1995
(Kevin checking the contents of 'his suit bag') Kevin: Let's see what we've got... I don't care how I look,just fit... (noticing the 'GFH' initials on the suit) GFH? (He looks further and he found the brand tag) Groverton Funeral Home? I'm dead... I'm *dead*... (Guests wondering what 'GFH' stands for at Kevin's suit) 1st Guest: What is that stand for? Kevin: My great-grandfather, General Francois Heinrich Manuever, World War 1 and 2 1st Guest: Good guy. 2nd Guest: What does it stand for? Kevin: Gemstones Frozen, Havedash reason. (to 3rd guest) Graduate, Full Honors, Oxford. I guess you know about that. 3rd Guest: I went to Harvard Kevin: Yuh, Harvard *Street* (to a Priest) Oh, It's a gospel group I was with, Goliness, Faithful and Honest Priest: Ah, amen. Kevin: (to other guests) Geeks For Hire,a temporary service. You fit it, you're the course. Gas For Humans... Girls From the Hood... G-strings For the Huge... Gotta Feed the Hungry... Girls Feeding Homies Waitress: It's that a joke? Kevin: (to a female guest) Good, Fine and Healthy and baby, you're it. *BAM!* You know what I'm saying? (Female guest leaves Kevin)
(after stumbling on Jason's skateboard) Gary Young: Jason, how many times have I told you to pick that damn thing up? A lot, I think. Probably several, maybe.
(Kevin's shipment of baseball cards come in) Kevin Franklin: The entire 1994 baseball season, know what I'm saying? I got Ken Griffey Jr. here, Barry Bonds, Jose Canseco. People spend big money for baseball cards, but if they get hurt, it's even worth more money! Say one of them's going to the car after the game, gets hit - pow! I don't wanna see it happen, but if it does, I'm getting paid!
Mr Pike: Slap me five there, brother! Kevin Franklin: How about I just slap you?
Joey Gasperini: WHERE'S THE DOUGH?
Kevin: If you drive away, I'll stand here pointing!
Pauly Gasperini: (hangs up phone) Mr Happy is not very happy right now! Joey Gasperini: Who is he, then?
Kevin: That looks good. Can I try some? Gary Young: Sure. Go ahead. (Kevin tries the dip and reacts in disgust) Kevin: Oh! What is that? Rosie the Caterer: Puree of parsnip and crook-neck squash. Kevin: I thought it was nacho cheese.