Hollywood Squares
1998
Tom Bergeron: Recently on Live with Regis and Kelly, Kelly Ripa started a club called "Rip-heads". What are "Rip-heads"? Martin Mull: Rip-heads are people who couldn't get into Mensa if you spotted them 200 points.
Tom Bergeron: First, he was Prince. Then, he was The Artist Formerly Known As Prince. After that, he was simply The Artist. What is he known as now? Simon Cowell: The Artist Who Formerly Sold Records.
Jeffrey Tambor: Well, it's a good thing you asked me this question. Because I was a history major in high school. Tom Bergeron: Really? Jeffrey Tambor: No.
(Immediate and repeated response to contestants guessing incorrectly during a marathon first match) Gilbert Gottfried: YOU FOOL.
(Jeffrey Tambor has just received a tennis question) Jeffrey Tambor: You know, this is interesting, because I used to be a tennis coach. Tom Bergeron: Really? Jeffrey Tambor: (shakes his head) No.
(In the bonus round, the contestant narrows his choices down to two keys and picks the wrong one) Tom Bergeron: Well, as you know... hold on. (Tom walks over and takes a cue card from the grip) Tom Bergeron: They actually had to show me this. (Tom shows the audience the cue card) Tom Bergeron: "Show him the correct key." IT'S THE ONE HE DIDN'T PICK.
Tom Bergeron: A $50,000 Gulfstream jet is the most expensive thing purchased using what? Victoria Jackson: Dollars?
Tom Bergeron: When spelled out in Scrabble tiles, which is worth more points? "Tom Bergeron" or "sex machine"?