Hi-de-hi!
1980
Mr Partridge: (singing) Jerusalem. Jerusalem. Lift up your skirts and sing!
Gladys: (Peggy's innocence is under threat) Gladys: I'll give her the same talk about men as my mother gave me. Ted: Let's hope she takes more notice.
Jeffrey: You're asking me to choose between allowing a man to be maimed for life, or cheating the campers. Ted: Well, you said you could do the job when you wrote in.
Ted: I shall have it printed in the programme: "Jeffrey Fairbrother, wheeze in the pool".
(Gladys has helped Jeffrey onto his bed who is in a drunken state) Gladys: So what am I going to do with you then? Eh?
Ted: Just remember this Spike. When you're in the freezer handling those pigs, and you shout "Hi-De-Hi", those sausages are not going to yell "Ho-De-Ho" back.
Fred Quilley: Do you realise, any moment now, a Molotov Cocktail could come flying through that window and burn us all alive. And all you do is lie there. Mr Partridge: I know why Molotov Cocktails are called Molotov Cocktails. Because of Molotov. He was an Israelite, you know. Fred Quilley: It's like living with a lunatic.
(repeated line) Ted: You great clumsy berk.
Yvonne Stuart-Hargreaves: He's got Gladys in his chalet. Barry Stuart-Hargreaves: She's been trying long enough. Yvonne Stuart-Hargreaves: She's telling him to let go. Barry Stuart-Hargreaves: Perhaps she's changed her mind. Yvonne Stuart-Hargreaves: Do you think we ought to rescue her? Barry Stuart-Hargreaves: If you remember, dear, I changed my mind and nobody came to my rescue.
Yvonne Stuart-Hargreaves: If you kept your mouth shut, Barry, things like this wouldn't happen. Barry Stuart-Hargreaves: Yes, but wouldn't it be boring?
Ted: Did you ever watch that programme on telly called "What's My Line?"? Jeffrey: Yes, I believe so. Ted: Well, we used to do one called "That's Your Bum!"
(repeated line) Peggy Ollerenshaw: Don't tell Miss Cathcart!