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Happiness

1998

Helen Jordan: It's just I'm... I'm so tired of being admired all the time. All these men I mean... they're all beautiful, artistic minds, great sex, the whole package, but hollow, you know what I mean? I feel nobody's really honest with me. Nobody wants me for me.

Helen Jordan: Y'know, people are always putting New Jersey down. None of my friends can believe I live here. But that's because they don't get it: I'm living in a state of irony.

Trish: How come no matter how much you treat me like shit, I can't help loving you even more?

Joe: What do you think would happen if I got him a professional... you know... Bill: A professional? Joe: Hooker. You know, the kind that can teach things... first-timers, you know... break him in. Bill: But Joe, he's 11. Joe: You're right, you're right. It's too late.

Allen: Pussy... need pussy.

Helen Jordan: I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you. Joy Jordan: But I'm not laughing.

Diane: I want kids that love me as much as I hated my mother.

Mona: You know I wish you had told me this twenty years ago. Now I'm gonna have to get another FUCKING FACELIFT!

Andy: You think I don't appreciate art? You think I don't understand fashion? You think I'm not hip? You think I'm pathetic? A nerd? A lard-ass fat-so? You think I'm shit? Well, you're wrong, 'cause i'm champagne, and you're shit. Until the day you die, you, not me, will always be shit.

Allen: Are you wet? Is your pussy all wet?

Allen: Can I smell your panties?

Allen: (mumbling) I'm gonna fuck you so hard, you'll be coming out of your ears. Fuck you...

Helen Jordan: (picks up phone) Hello? Allen: I know who you are and you are nothing. You think you are fucking something, but you are fucking nothing. You are empty. You are a zero. You are a black hole, and I'm gonna fuck you so bad you'll be coming out of your ears. (slams down phone, pants for air)

Vlad: I love New Jersey. Joy Jordan: Don't you miss Russia? Vlad: Fuck the cunt of Russia. Joy Jordan: Well, I guess it's best to feel that way.

Joy Jordan: I am not a scab... I am a strikebreaker.

Billy Maplewood: Dickwad? Bill: Yes, only "come" can be used as a verb as well.

(last lines) Billy Maplewood: I came.

Helen Jordan: If only I had been abused as a child! *Then* I would know authenticity!

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